Nursery Mother’s Day picnic at 2pm

[IrisApril]

Don’t know if I’m being unreasonable, but I’m equal parts angry and upset about this. Stupid nursery are holding a Mother’s Day picnic today at 2pm, with all the mums coming in.

I have a job so obviously can’t come into nursery at 2pm. Surely most mothers work, otherwise why would my child be in nursery to begin with?? Now all I can think about is my child sitting there feeling sad that I never showed up.

Is this crappy and poorly-planned of the nursery???

The school are constantly doing assemblies/performances at 10am, which I try my best to make it to. But 2pm is slap bang in the middle of most people’s working day.

Yes, it sucks. I used to be the same, and if I managed to nip out to attend there’d be all the yummy mummies in casual clothes running about playing games, and me in my office suit. It’s very tough.

Apologies if you already have older kids and know this, but in my experience it gets even worse once they're at school. It does suck, and the only thing if you can is to book leave etc and manage expectations on not being able to be at every event. It is hard though

This, when do you think they should have them, or maybe not have them at all?

Yes, this is stupid. There is no need for a nursery to have a mother's day picnic, especially since mother's day is on a Sunday anyway. You definitely won't be the only mum not there, as most others will also be working or they wouldn't need their child to be in nursery. What nursery should be doing for mother's day is getting your child to make you a lovely card, which if they are anything like my DC, they will be so proud of that they will refuse to give it to you because they want to keep it for themselves.

I have a primary aged DD and yeah it’s rough. At least at her age, she finds it easier to understand if mummy is working and can’t be at something.

How is a three-year-old supposed to understand that though? And there’s something so emotive about it being a “mother’s day picnic” specifically, where other children will be celebrating their mummies. She’s so emotional and attached to me at the moment.

Ironically her dad isn’t working today. If it was just a performance or something, he could have gone.

It’s one of those things.

I see why the nursery would hold it then. It would be challenging to hold it on a weekend or evening.

In my experience they look after the ones
whose parents can’t make it and it won’t only be your child in that position. I say this as a Mum who often couldn’t make these events! Eldest is in double digits now and not traumatised.

I guess at 9-10am, as it’s much easier to let work know you’re coming in late, than to randomly leave in the middle of the afternoon.

Or preferably not have them at all.

do You know other mums going? Someone who will include ur DC. ? When I go to events I usually have the other children who I will support and make sure are not left out. I know it’s mums day but you will not be the only parent

It’s so annoying. Our nursery are pretty good at scheduling stuff like this for 5 so you can just pick up a bit early. But also they never make it mum/dad specific, so that either parent can go. Tbh I would send dad so that they have someone there.

Does your DC have a grandma or aunt who can go? In future try to save a couple of half days of annual leave for things like this.

In the same boat as you today OP. Nursery Mother’s Day afternoon event at 4pm and I’m away for work. Feels rubbish!

They only let us know one week in advance, which makes it harder too. No aunt or grandma nearby sadly.

Argh I’m sorry. Why do they do it!? Feels awful.

Completely unnecessary event anyway.

Send him anyway! That way she has a parent, he can talk about what Mummy does etc.
I doubt all the other mums will be there anyway. I'd have had trouble getting off work for that and many others will be the same

Dad can still go so she isn't on her own.

This just gets harder and harder through primary school - but then there’s nothing you need to do in high school so it’s just a problem for that stretch of time at least.

I think it’s inherently problematic to have anything called specifically mothers or Father’s Day anything though as children don’t all have one of each and that’s just isolating for no reason.

Or at least go and get her at lunchtime!

Our nursery had complaints about this last year so tomorrow they are doing a mothers day breakfast at 8am-9am. Bit annoying for us as I don't usually drop off until 8.45am but appreciate it works easier for others so we are going to set the alarms a bit earlier and see if it has any better take up than usual!

Please send your DH, so she at least has a parent there. It's shit when they do this kind of thing with no notice, I always hated it.

Honestly, I might just be meaner than everyone else, but I wouldn't even consider taking annual leave for this sort of thing. The nativity play, yes - that's cute and the children work hard for it. But a mother's day picnic right in the middle of the workday? That's unnecessary and stupid. My DCs' nursery would not try this and if they did, most of the parents would probably point out to them why it was stupid, as they don't have jobs with that kind of flexibility.

They do sometimes have a stay and play, but in response to feedback now only do this at 4pm so that parents can pick up a bit early rather than taking time off. I don't think many people ever went to the middle-of-the-day ones. Also, the staff found it a total nightmare because children were NOT happy about their parents coming in and then going away again.

I raised this with my kids’ school as they used to have breakfast events at 8.30am for Father’s Day and afternoon tea events at 2pm for Mother’s Day…and they changed it so that they are all at 8.30

It is very difficult for working mothers. I think you should ask your DH to go. He can tell your DD that he has come to 'celebrate mummy' with her. i would put it that way to the nursery as well. I can't come do her daddy is coming to celebrate mummy with her. 💐

Yep it sucks. WFH has made it a little easier because there’s no travel time and I can make time up after. I think I’m lucky my DDs school only do this sort of thing 1-2 times a term and also have DH to do some of them. I couldn’t manage more than that.
I found that if they do them after school though people who don’t work and have younger children complain about it being too late!

Dad should go so she has someone there. If they complain, tell them to do one (or say you don't see gender or something)

It is hard. I work in a school (off sick today) and my husband works in the city and can't just randomly leave in the day. We manage to get to most things but there is a lot. My dcs are older primary age and still hate it if I can't make an event, even if it's just a short thing at the end of the school day for example and if they've had warning I won't be there. I do think it's nice they run so many things as then maybe one parent who can't make the morning events can make the afternoon ones. But there does seem to be pressure to attend all of them.

Even as a sahm when I had a toddler at home was hard. The school wouldn't let me bring him with me, so I had to get someone to babysit which was not easy for us as we don't have any family nearby and all my friends were at work. You honestly can't win!