Nursery Mother’s Day picnic at 2pm

[IrisApril]

Don’t know if I’m being unreasonable, but I’m equal parts angry and upset about this. Stupid nursery are holding a Mother’s Day picnic today at 2pm, with all the mums coming in.

I have a job so obviously can’t come into nursery at 2pm. Surely most mothers work, otherwise why would my child be in nursery to begin with?? Now all I can think about is my child sitting there feeling sad that I never showed up.

Is this crappy and poorly-planned of the nursery???

The school are constantly doing assemblies/performances at 10am, which I try my best to make it to. But 2pm is slap bang in the middle of most people’s working day.

Nursery have to show Ofsted that they are inviting parents to nursery events. I'm a sahm but I've missed a few school things because of not being allowed to bring a baby/toddler or older dc being in hospital.

Take a half day?

The nursery are trying to do a nice thing. Don't call them stupid, most are wonderful people who give amazing care.

I bet the wonderful staff (apart from the manager who came up with this) think it's stupid too. Imagine you're the one who has to re-settle the crying children whose mums have come in for the picnic and then gone back to work and left them there. They are probably hoping most will just take them home early, but many won't be able to.

Yes, suggest your DH can pick her up and do some lovely crafts together or go shopping for some bulbs for you.

It’s to catch the bulk of people before they do the school run. I think for lots of people, leaving a little early (because lots of mums work school hours) is easier than first thing in the morning. But send Dh! I have been to loads of these in school and nursery over the years and all sorts of special people show up, not just mums.

I worked full time since my eldest was 2 and missed a lot of these things. Sometimes my dm or dmil could go instead but often no one could. I felt how you feel at the time but eldest is now 21 and of all the memories from childhood we chat about, this has not come up once! Guilt is a pointless emotion that serves only to make you feel crappy about something you can't control. You are at work, providing DC with a roof over their heasd and food in their bellies, sometimes that's all you can do and it's enough. You can celebrate mothers day on Sunday.

Any chance of dropping in for half an hour during late lunch?

Its rubbish and the whole reason there is only a handful of mums that turn up at our nursery. Last year it was 2.30pm at our nursery, luckily I finish work at 2.30pm so got there 10 mins later. This year they have moved it to 3.30pm so will see how many of us turn up.

My biggest annoyance is only letting us know at the start of the week it was happening. At least give a couple of weeks notice so we can arrange time off work.

It is rough OP and our nursery is having a ‘Mother’s Day tea party’ tomorrow afternoon. Luckily I have managed to book the afternoon off work to attend, but when I asked about it the staff said the children of any parents who couldn’t attend would be in another room doing a fun activity and would be none the wiser, rather than eg sat in a room where all the friends are eating cake with their mums.

Will it be all of the mums going? When my child’s nursery do these events (I’ve been to a lunch and my partner has been to a Mother’s Day event as they did it with the Dad’s going in to make Mother’s Day cards with them) they limit the amount of parents that can come and it’s up to 5 per room as they don’t have the space for everyone so it would never end up being just 1 or 2 children without their parents there 🤔

I think u need to suck it up im afraid. When do u want them to do it ? 5pm when u finish ? Some mothers work shifts/weekends etc so it might be fine for them.

Ours did afternoon tea from 4-5 on Friday. It had a pretty good turnout and it was doable for me with a desk job.

The last nursery used to put on coffee mornings 10-11 which was a nightmare. I went twice but stood around like a lemon in work attire whilst everyone else was either on mat leave or a sahm (and knew each other!)

Can you work through your lunch break then off at 2pm ?

How long have you know about this?
Threads like this make me so sad. I’ve just slugged my guts out and spent my own money so that my little class of 5 year olds could bake cake and scones, make decorations and sandwiches so that their mums could all come for Mother’s Day afternoon tea, at school at 2! It was absolutely lovely. All the mums came and all said how much they’d enjoyed it and how grateful they were. They’ve know about it for months so our several working mums organised an hour off to come. We made it very clear that if mum was working then any other family member was welcome.
The idea that these lovely things just shouldn’t happen at all because they don’t suit everyone makes me cross.

Easier for your job. Not true for everyone.

You’d rather they didn’t do anything at all because you can’t make it? 🙄

Why doesn’t your DH go then if he’s off work?

Our nursery has a Mother’s Day tea and other events at similar times. I think it’s nice that they have events for those who can go. I can’t go because I work and can’t easily get away or use annual leave at the moment but it didn’t occur to me that they shouldn’t do it because I can’t attend. My children will be fine even if I’m not there.

I am a Reception teacher, we hold a few events through the year and I always feel bad knowing parents can’t make events. I’d never do one just for mums or dads. I always say it’s for parents or grandparents and I try and give a few months notice. I know with my own children how upsetting it is not to go to things but we never have every parent there.

I actually think it is in many ways wrong to be running this event. Not all children attending nursery will have mothers (bereavement, separation, or maybe they have two daddies!!). It’s a family celebration with Christian origins and aside from perhaps helping them make a mother’s day card if they have a mother, they should not be involving themselves in this.

Where does it end though? Let’s drop Easter, Eid, Hannukah, Diwali then as it won’t be relevant to each and every child? Ignore the Harvest Festival because some children may be fruitarians who object to cutting down wheat? Ignore the summer solstice in case some parents are vampires?

That explains it then. My kids are now teenagers and their nursery never had that sort of event. Which was fine by me. A handmade card or craft was plenty.

I bet they don't do a fathers day picnic at 2pm. If they do, fair enough but usually they seem to do fathers day stuff at the start of the day and mothers day stuff in the middle of the day and that's what would piss me off.

Rubbish - all of those things can be taught about - it’s perfectly acceptable to teach christian and muslim kids about diwali etc. A christian child is expressly included in the ‘learning objectives’ of understanding the alternative religious beliefs and customs that exist in the world. Nurseries and schools are required to cover teaching about the wider experience of faith, culture and religion under the national curriculum.

Mothers’ day is a largely commercial event, rooted in Victorian era christian beliefs, is not a religious observance, and is about observing the mother’s role in family life and society. It is not essential for any child who is without a mother to learn about ‘what mothers do’ in an institutional setting - and it is not included in the national curiculum!!

I had never heard of this until this year but a friend has to go to her kid's creche for a "spa day" on Monday.

The only reason the child is in creche is because she has a full-time job.

She told her child she didn't know it she could get the time off and the child was so upset and crying.

So she had to try and take time off to go, and time off after to repair whatever they do. (Fix makeup, nail varnish etc). Before rushing back to work. Can't send husband as it's for mothers day.

Seriously feels so unfair to the mothers, and the kids who won't have mothers who can come. What was wrong with making a card for mothers day.

They told us less than a week in advance, as I’ve already said.