Formula feeding second child 'because it's easier'

[WiseSheep]

My mum and a few people of her generation that I know have said they formula fed their second child 'because it was easier'. I'm just wondering if anyone knows why it might be easier? Or if anyone did it and found it easier?

I'd rather not ask my mum as it'll turn into a 'thing' about breastfeeding but am really curious.

I'm looking for people's reasoning here however I'm really not looking to judge or start a breast v bottle debate.

I don't believe the NHS guidelines have changed but the WHO make it very clear that making up bottles in advanced, rapid cooling and then storing at the back of the fridge for up to 24 hours isn't dangerous and is actually the 2nd way they recommend making bottles after fresh each time.

You do have to be careful with the prep machines, you need to keep up with cleaning them but they are fantastic and I've never had any issues with them. NHS would never recommend them though.

You can make them perfectly easily - whole bottle doesn’t have to be full of boiling water, just use the right amount of boiling water to dissolve the formula, and top up with cold water just like a perfect prep does. Perfect temp.

Just do what works best for you and your baby.
But I don't see how it can be easier. Surely it's easier to have milk always ready at the perfect temperature than to make up bottles?

I don't think it's easier, my FF child was up every hour and didn't sleep through until 2 and a half!

It’s easier as the load can be shared

Yes but if you have a partner they can help with ff

My mum said the same thing. With formula someone else can do it when you're tired in the early days and don't have milk pumped, but I'd never want that because it's a biological mechanism for crucial early bonding. Babies on formula tend to sleep through earlier, but I'd also never want that because it's a basic safety mechanism that keeps them alive (reduced risk of SIDS). So the only 'benefits' were actually pitfalls for me.

Then there's the practicality of being able to cosleep and breastfeed, not have to take anything extra out with us anywhere, being able to hydrate them when they're very ill, pain relief, soothing their upset, using BM on any rashes, how it helps you fall asleep because of the hormones released, the way it can suppress periods and endo, the real time antibodies and less illnesses, the way you can wear them in a sling whilst feeding and get on with whatever else you need to. So for me, formula wasn't easier as it added a huge amount of strain across so many areas. It's also expensive.

It's easier because it isn't all on you. We shared feeds.

Milk was always ready because we used a perfect prep machine or ready to feed milk when out and about or just had a bottle cooled and ready to go. They also fed every 3 hours because it was easy to get a feeding routine sorted early on so easy to have a bottle ready to drink when you'll know they will be due a feed.

I had to give my second formula top ups due to tongue tie and jaundice. Ebf my eldest and third. IMO having to deal with bottles is a massive pain in the backside and was keen to avoid it if possible. So much easier with breastfeeding to just grab baby and go. When you add bottles in you need to make sure you’ve got clean stuff and enough with you for the day when you’re out. Then making it up at night is hassle. At least when you’re breastfeeding at night you don’t even need to get out of bed!

I think it completely depends on you and your baby. I BF DC1 exclusively for 6 months and it was easier than all the washing and sterilising when we then switched to formula. DC2 was a constant cluster-feeder, or so it felt, and together with having a toddler and a bit of PND, it was too much for me mentally and I felt much better once I stopped so in that sense bottle feeding was easier.

I found breastfeeding much easier but that was because I was out and about a lot on my own with the kids and it was one less thing to faff around with. But if I'd had extended family around who wanted to take my kids then it's nice to have the option of other people feeding the baby at times.

‘crucial early bonding’? I formula fed mine from birth and we have a great bond. My child slept through the night in 13 hour stints from 3 months old which was fantastic for my mental health and meant I was a better mother all round. Nothing was more valuable than that. By the way, formula feeding is not linked to SIDS so I don’t know where you got that from..

wearing them in a sling and feeding carries a risk of SIDS. There was a recent case in the news.

Ah don’t rise to it. There’s always one

NHS actually now doesn't not recommend (if that makes sense) and gives advice on how to use them safely. I think this must be a recent change because certainly when I had DD1 in 2021, I remember the HV telling me not to use them, whereas with DD2 last year, she just directed me here (bottom of the page). Full disclosure - we used one both times. https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/bottle-feeding/how-to-make-up-a-feed/

But by the same token, with baby 2 you have less time & energy to be getting out of bed in the night, boiling kettles, sterilising everything, run to the shop to buy more, keep track of when baby might next be hungry so they're not screaming while you wait for the kettle etc. Where as breastfeed No.2 just fed in the sling while I ran round after the toddler, as you've already been through the difficult 'getting the hang of it' stage with the first.

So the questions not "why would you priorities ease with the second?" It's "why would formula feeding be the easier option?"

No need to get out of bed - take sterilised bottles and portioned formula powder upstairs at bedtime. Perfect prep on bedside table. I had my first child 10 years ago and formula didn’t involve boiling a kettle even back then.

Formula on subscription to the door. Running to the shop for formula never involved either.

Don’t think I one boiled a kettle to make a bottle

That's on the assumption that we all get out of the "difficult getting the hang of it stage". Some of us never do for loads of different reasons. I reasonably successfully fed DD1 - she was very tiny and had been in NICU so we did combi feed to keep supporting her weight, but we did successfully bf as well. But as i said above, DD2 was a totally different ball game. Her feeds were taking 8-10 x 90mins. One feed was basically running into another. Every feed needed switch feeding, compressions etc - no way could I feed in a sling whilst playing with my eldest. We saw IBCLCs, specialist MWs, bf drop ins, in the end referred to SALT feeding team and even paeds to check if there was a genetic / chromosomal reason underlying all the difficulties. This went on for weeks - I think the paeds appt was around 15w? All while my eldest was finding the transition so hard, because I was constantly in this feeding nightmare. So in the end, you have to consider what's best for the whole family.

I never did "to order", I always had some in the fridge but it was the guidelines when DS16 was born to make each one fresh every time.
Making up a batch was according to guidelines when we had DD20 and after DS was born the MW at the hospital made us aware that they had changed and we should now make each one fresh every time.
Me and DH smiled and nodded and agreed we weren't going to do that as soon as she left!
SIL did though as she had her 1st around the same time I had DS and her baby used to spend around 30 minutes crying while the kettle cooled enough. I remember FIL fancied a coffee and put the kettle on again by mistake and all hell broke loose.

I think it would be very hard to say one is categorically ‘easier’ than the other, there’s just so many pros and cons for each, for example, establishing breastfeeding can be incredibly hard work and v time consuming at the start whereas a bottle is a bottle and that’s quite straightforward, whereas further down the line, with luck once well-established, it’s certainly easier to just get baby on the breast when out and about than worrying about bringing milk with you, proper storage etc. Personally, overall, I find breastfeeding easier, as I couldn’t be doing with all the washing and sterilising and general planning I needed to do for formula feeding, it was much easier for me, day or night, to just have the milk ready to go, but it’s whatever suits you best!

Yes our health visitor advised not to use the prep machines and make from fresh, this was October 2024. Again smiled and nodded and she went on her way. Within reason you have to do what’s right for your family. My friend always made up bottles and cooled them ahead of time. Never had any issues. It’s certainly not difficult washing and sterilising bottles. It’s a few minutes a day and means the feeding isn’t all on one person when you have more than 1 child

My 2nd child breastfed for 10 minutes every 2 hours from a couple of weeks old until weaning, which was amazing because I also had an 18 month old, so to have short predictable feeds made our days manageable. However if I had had one that fed for say 40 minutes every 2 hours during the early weeks, which isn't unheard of, then it would have been really challenging with my toddler. With bottle feeding you get longer between feeds and people prop it up on a towel or something if they need to attend to another child (I know this is dangerous, but people do it anyway). Or you can walk around bottle feeding, most people can't with breastfeeding.

Ohh, that's very interesting! My twins will be 1 next month and the HV had the same chat with me that she did when I had my 2 year old which was that they can't recommend prep machines.

I think it was when my brother and I were born in the 1970s. My Mum made up a day’s worth of bottles in one go and just reheated them. She had 5 sisters who helped out and fed us. It was normal for wee lassies in the neighbourhood to take the pram out with the baby in it. My Granny took me for the day and fed me.

I found breastfeeding easier with my second but my circumstances in the 2010s were utterly different to my Mum’s in the 70s.

Tbh there is also quite a rapid change with ff where cleaning bottles etc becomes completely second nature as well.

All the time I was attempting to be I was also pumping to try and get SOME kind of supply going, plus cabbage leaf wrangling and taking meds for mastitis, so for me there was just as much sterilising and cleaning for bf as there ever was for ff.