Formula feeding second child 'because it's easier'

[WiseSheep]

My mum and a few people of her generation that I know have said they formula fed their second child 'because it was easier'. I'm just wondering if anyone knows why it might be easier? Or if anyone did it and found it easier?

I'd rather not ask my mum as it'll turn into a 'thing' about breastfeeding but am really curious.

I'm looking for people's reasoning here however I'm really not looking to judge or start a breast v bottle debate.

Due to HG and some pretty severe long term dehydration my milk didn't come in with one of my babies, I found formula feeding easier. The breastfed one (eventually moved to combi feeding) was a cluster feeder with no end in sight, I was touched out and exhausted. Formula fed baby fed every 3 hours, slept well, quickly dropped night feeds etc. Could be a coincidence and one baby was just naturally easier going or could have been formula.
There's no medals in parenting at the end of the day, breast is best undoubtedly so give it a try but don't be too beat up about it if it's not for you. Try keep things low pressure, prioritise your wellbeing and baby will be fine as long as they're fed and loved.

If breastfeeding is working well (I appreciate this is a big "if" for many), it's easier, imo.

You can take your baby along to your older child's school drop offs/football lessons/playdates etc and you don't need to pack bottle apparatus, just wear a top you can lift.

At night you co-sleep (if you are happy to do this) and don't have to get out of bed to feed the baby.

Breastfed babies tend to recover quicker from colds and other minor ailments - this sounds trivial but it's a big deal when you have an older child bringing home every minor disease going

Same same. I could stick #2 in the sling and feed them there with just a bit of support from one hand. I once prepped, hosted, and cleaned up from an entire NCT coffee morning while #2 hung out in the sling. For some people BF is easier and for some people FF.

That's very much dependent on your child. My dc that got ff earliest was fast and away the worst sleeper of the three. Dd regressed in her sleep patterns when I introduced formula and ds2 was much the same with/without formula.

No. Just no. There are some minimal possible advantages for western babies, but absolutely no massive benefits. Where have you got this misinformation from? What was the agenda?

This is what my health visitor told me also.

My girl is formula fed (my milk never came in and she ended up in NICU for weight loss with a feeding tube down her throat - that really turned me off breastfeeding!).

My partner immediately bought 7 bottles, 50 boxes of formula, a prep machine, and a steriliser. I don’t find it challenging. Making a bottle takes 10 seconds and we split feeds. She gets hungry at the same times every day - so it’s no hassle to work out what I need for her when.

But I wouldn’t say it’s easier! I get shamed and commented on quite regularly for not breastfeeding: I’m the only mother in my
mother group and also my postnatal yoga group who formula feeds. And the first few weeks nurses and midwives were very vocal about me formula feeding - though they often magically went quiet when I told them that their exclusive breastfeeding advice had put my baby in neonatal intensive care for a week.

Once you've recovered from birth, you can breastfeed in your lap with no hands, or standing up with one arm, or in a sling, and that leaves you semi-hands-free to interact with dc1.

Whereas feeding a baby a bottle requires more of your attention.

For example I'd say it's fairly impossible to turn the pages of a book while bottle feeding, but possible while breastfeeding.

Formula feeder here: just read using a kindle! Also brilliant with the backlight for night feeds.

I found breastfeeding much easier than bottle feeding- we combi-fed for a while, but I quickly gave up the bottles because it was so much more of a faff.

I mean reading to your older child

I got way more sleep in the early days than ff friends as I just brought baby into bed and fed while I slept. Admittedly, it took a few weeks to get the hang of for the first but worked from day 1 with the others.

See this really depends, my daughter would be on the boob for literally 60 mins at a time, a lot of the time, for the first few months of her life. I can’t stand and hold her one handed for that amount of time, and being stuck on the sofa with her in my lap while tending to an older child for hours at a time wouldn’t have been ideal either.

I could have given her a bottle of formula in what, 3 mins? Then I’d have been good to go again, and because I’d know she’d had say 120ml, I’d know she wouldn’t want another feed for probably 3 hours. Whereas with BF I was never really sure when she’d want more, obviously couldn’t measure how much she had, and the cluster feeding was intense.

DS1 I simply did not produce enough milk and BF was a nightmare that left me in tears and distress and feeling a failure. I recall using a breast pump for three hours on one breast and got less than a teaspoon of milk. I did it while watching Titanic which is why I can say with confidence how long I was pumping for. I felt such a failure and it contributed to my PND. It was at a time when the whole 'breast is best' thing was really intense.

DS2- did not even bother trying. FF from the off. Much better experience. Easier yes. In fact my milk did not even come in for DS2- not even the full feeling or leakage. I was much more relaxed and enjoyed things more. Plus as it turned out DS1 was quite disabled thanks to a mismanaged birth so I could not have handled the stresses of trying to BF my newborn when dealing with a 2 year old disabled child.

My ONLY regret is that I got suckered into the whole BF thing when it so clearly and obviously was not right for my situation.

There is no way to answer as everyone is different. I was lucky that for me BF was extremely easy. Never hurt at all and I had little guzzlers so I was able to get them onto a predicatble schedule, they'd take huge feeds then be happy for hours, rather than constantly snacking.

It also meant they both slept through the night from 3 months old.

Breastfeeds took about 5 minutes, no prep, no cleaning. I would have been so overwhelmed if I'd had to bottle feed my second!

I’m probably not the best person to answer 😂 I did start BFing my first child but had to stop early on for medical reasons. When I got pregnant with my second I decided from rh start I had no intention of BF and indeed I did not. I think I just wanted to stick with what I knew and probably a big part of that was because I thought it’d be easier

I formula fed both of mine but certainly with a small age gap, my second had many bottles propped up in the pram or on the sofa while I dealt with my eldest who was still basically a baby himself. It was very different to having one baby and sitting on the sofa and feeding them because you just had to be constantly up and down to make sure the other one wasn’t getting into trouble.

I mean, I can understand the logic, but it doesn’t really hold true - anecdotally I don’t know anyone who only breastfed the first; and my entire NCT group is breastfeeding their seconds, so that’s at least 7 people who “do”. And google can’t find any research showing people tend to switch to formula for subsequent babies…

I plan on formula feeding my 5th rather than breastfeeding so I can share the responsibility with others. I don't have another 2 years of being on tap left in me. With the school runs and clubs formula will be easier.

But the main reason is I just don't want to again.

Breastfeeding my second was the easiest thing for me as I knew what I was doing. Popping baby on the boob was no trouble and I really loved that bonding time with her. No way would I have swapped that for a bottle. The older generation are really weird about breastfeeding- ignore

I understand. If anything I regret not just bloody FFing my first from the start too! I’m not a BFer. It’s not me. I’m so glad we have an alternative. If there was no formula, obviously I’d have had to continue BF despite my health issues. However, I can categorically say there would have been no second baby. Genuinely, I’d rather have not had another baby than attempt BF again.

Perhaps it’s easier in that you can share the load, however I’m not sure it’s easier at 1,2.30,3.45 and 5am when you have to get out of bed each time and make up bottles then wash them all the next morning? Plus when you go out it would be an additional layer of admin to pack bottles and either a flask of boiled water or ask for boiled water wherever you are and then wait for it to cool down. Breastfeeding can also be very useful, if you have the option, as a way of quickly settling a fussy baby so if you do have the option I would make use of it!

I had no interest in breastfeeding and I only have 1 child. I had such an easy time of it for the first year - he's always been an easy going, chilled out child from birth anyway but I found FF really easy.

I am the only person I know who FF, everyone else has breastfed and while feeding was established and going well, they all hated the first year and struggled massively. Without exception. Lack of sleep, exhaustion and being tied to feeding constantly 6 months at least.

Interestingly, if I'd have had another, I think I'd have given BF a go, despite all the anecdotal evidence I have seen about it making everything more difficult.

Also - all the midwives/nurses/doctors and HVs I encountered were very positive and supportive of me FF. I did have a huge 10lb+ baby so maybe they thought it was easier all round, I have no idea but I was expecting judgement and advice to BF but it never came. A couple even said they wished more would FF.

I had one who was formula fed and one who was EBF (never even had a bottle of expressed milk). Honestly, of the two, my one who was bf was easier.

I found the making bottles and carrying them around everywhere and having to plan how many I might need and washing and sterilising and having to go make them in the middle of the night a real PITA. It was so much easier to just take myself and my baby and go. Or just quickly feed him and right back to sleep.

The difference was that I found breastfeeding him easy. I think when people struggle, it’s not because having a breastfed baby is hard (actually that’s probably less faff), it’s because breastfeeding is hard.

That said, for older generations of women, they very much lacked the support and the resources we have today. Couldn’t leave the house if bf was socially frowned upon because god forbid you get a boob out at lunch. No internet forums to ask questions or moan and realise you aren’t the only one. Probably no supportive egalitarian partners to do bedtime with older children or to cook dinner during cluster feeding. It must have been very hard and isolating for so many.

Breastfeeding was bollocking awful with ds. I don't even want to go into the details. Second time round if it had ever happened I guess I probably would have tried again, with a bit of a better idea how to tackle it and what help to get, but I would have had minimal confidence and would have found ff easier for sure. My mum, aunts and mother in law all had their babies in the 60s and every single one was essentially told that they wouldn't manage to breastfeed. None of them did. They all rather looked down on women who even tried - because they'd felt under pressure from their mums breastfeeding lots of babies in the 30s.

That sort of context matters, and 'it's easier' may be hiding a really horrific past experience.

Not always the case sadly!