Formula feeding second child 'because it's easier'

[WiseSheep]

My mum and a few people of her generation that I know have said they formula fed their second child 'because it was easier'. I'm just wondering if anyone knows why it might be easier? Or if anyone did it and found it easier?

I'd rather not ask my mum as it'll turn into a 'thing' about breastfeeding but am really curious.

I'm looking for people's reasoning here however I'm really not looking to judge or start a breast v bottle debate.

I can definitely see where it would be easier and more practical for me to bottle feed second time round. I have an 11 month old and have just found out I’m pregnant with our second (planned) baby. I breastfed my daughter and loved it but it was HARD work & it was only me who could do that work, I couldn’t share the load with my husband or my mum, every feed was me, whereas formula feeding anybody could have done it. There’s also the fact that I feel like I spent 90% of my day for the first 10-12ish weeks either sat on the sofa or lying in bed with her attached to my boob- which was lovely & fine when she was my only concern, but this time round I’ll have a 19 month old and a newborn, can’t imagine I’ll have the time to just sit and feed all day.

I probably will still BF my next baby, but I can absolutely see where it will be more difficult and where formula feeding would be much much easier.

It's not current guidelines but it's verified by the WHO as a perfectly safe option where making up fresh isn't practical. It's not a dangerous method, but it's not in the NHS's interests to make formula feeding convenient, as it's not breastfeeding...

I found FF easier because it was quicker and more structured. As in usually 4 hours between feeds, fed and done. We could share the load of washing bottles and turning the steriliser on.
I felt like BF took hours, fine with baby 1 but less practical when DC1 needed to be at school / sports / bed time story etc.

Definitely not easier, just personal preference.

when running around after a toddler, taking them to various activities, having a constant supply of perfectly prepared food at the right temperature ready to go with no equipment needed is very useful!!!

Yeah it says on the NHS website that formula lasts 24 hours stored in the back of the fridge, but you're right it's not the best practice.
The other easy thing to do is to use a formula preparation machine, which suddenly on the NHS website seems ok.

What I actually did was make up formula in advance of a feed. A fresh bottle lasts 2 hours. I never had a screaming baby waiting for a feed, so for me personally I would judge it as easier for me to FF.

Not necessarily true

I don’t want to shame formula feeding (my kids have all had a bottle of formula one feed a day so I had the flexibility to stop bf if I wanted to!) but I don’t agree that you don’t have time or energy beyond baby 1.

It depends on each person/family. I have been able to bf three kids under 5.

I find it easier to be able to leave the house without bottles. I find it easier to not have to sterilise. I find it easier to whack a boob in while older kids do stickers / play / watch TV even.

i certainly find it easier over night not having to move! But what works for everyone is different.

I formula fed my first and then I had twins so was definitely going to formula feed again.

I've never found formula feeding to be difficult, it is so easy.

I use mam bottles which self sterilise in the microwave
I use two perfect prep machines so I've never had a screaming baby because they are waiting ages for a bottle
When they had night feeds, I had a prep machine upstairs too so we didn't have to even go to the kitchen
Other people can feed them without your body needing to be attached to a machine
Making bottles in advance, rapid cooling and storing at the back of the fridge is also a very easy option and the 2nd option recommended by WHO (the 1st is fresh every time)

My second is almost 4 months and has a terrible latch & allergies which has made things very difficult. I’ve had to severely limit my diet and now have to make separate meals which is double the work. My boobs still hurt and I’ve had mastitis which wiped me out for a week and landed me in hospital leaving DC1 behind. DC1 often needs help such as wiping his bum mid feed. I also have a fast let down and an over supply which can mean milk everywhere and so I’m not comfortable taking the two of them out alone in case baby needs a feed and I have to try and manage my toddler at the same time.

I bf for almost a year with my first but honestly wish I’d never started with my second and now I’ve no idea how to stop. Bottles would have made life much easier here!

If we have a third baby they’ll be on formula! My formula fed nieces are just as healthy as my first and they sleep better!

Breastfeeding spoiled the newborn phase for me for all 3 of my kids. With my first, I combi fed from birth and had moved to exclusively formula feeding by 3 months. It was massively easier. Your body doesn't do anything except make the formula and clean the bottles. I don't know why people find it so tricky to wash and sterilise the bottles: you just wash them in warm soapy water, rinse and at the end of the day put them all into the steriliser for a few minutes. I never had screaming babies because they were waiting for a bottle: I knew when their next feed would be due and I made it with the hot shot, then cold water on top so it was ready quickly, and even when it was hot it took 5 minutes to cool in cold water. The baby slept better, gained weight more reliably, other people could feed him, I didn't have to be mindful about the clothes I wore, sore leaking breasts, mastitis, establishing supply, keeping supply, messed up hormones, bleeding nipples, an excruciating latch, lactation consultants, infected milk ducts, screaming into a flannel because I was in so much breast pain, baby not gaining enough weight because my supply was low....and those are just the first thoughts off the top of my head.

I'm obviously a glutton for punishment but I breastfed my next two children for over a year each and once I got past the terrible first month, I loved it. But it absolutely was not easy and I wouldn't do it again. It's absolutely not easy.

Oh, and I don't lose weight until I stop breastfeeding. Great!

Which is understandable because of the massive breastfeeding benefits.

I don’t think there’s one set answer to this. It must totally depend on you, your baby, and your unique circumstances.

For me, baby 1 was difficult to feed. Jaundiced, tongue tied, lost loads of weight, admitted to hospital. I managed to continue exclusive breastfeeding with lots of pumping and top up feeds, but it was very difficult in the early weeks and I’m not sure I’d have managed it if he was my second. I certainly found breastfeeding a lot easier from about two months, as I didn’t have the faff of pumping or sterilising.

Baby 2 was born and fed immediately and easily, so there was no friction at all. It was definitely the easier choice for us. I couldn’t be bothered to pump (I hated it, plus my hands were full) or faff around with bottles as we also had a 22m old to look after. Sharing the feeds wasn’t a big concern for me, as my husband was able to do loads of other stuff to help.

Expecting baby 3, others will be 3.5 and 1.5, and I’m hopeful that they’ll take after their middle sibling. I’m keeping an open mind though and will do whatever works.

The NHS ignoring the fact that it's perfectly safe to prepare bottles in a more convenient way isn't going to make the breastfeeding rates any better than what they already are.

I absolutely think it’s easier, without a doubt.

I do think that BF is best though and so I personally would BF for the first couple of weeks and then express for a couple of weeks, before going to formula.

I'm a lone parent. I formula fed my DD (now 6m) from 7 weeks old for ease and in my case it was a life and sanity saver. She was an NICU baby where she was tub fed expressed milk for a week after birth. Due to this, we never got the golden hour or any support to help her latch after and she never picked it up. Expressing, feeding, washing, repeat became my 2 hourly cycle. I couldn't do anything else in the day and I couldn't sleep at night because feeding took me an extra hour on top of just giving baby milk, I also had to prep the next bottles, wash my equipment ready for the next time. I wasn't one of the people who could express gallons at a time and the whole situation was affecting me.

I really struggled with the decision to FF but in the end my baby being fed and me being a functional, healthy mum was what was best for us and we never looked back.

Do what is best and works for you. Don't let anyone pressure or persuade you otherwise. If you want, you can always them all and see what YOU want to do.

So it's understandable that they should promote a method that's more hassle, so that people feel forced to breastfeed?

How far are you comfortable taking that, given it's about increasing inconvenience, not safety.

Should the bottles unnecessarily be double sterilised? A new box opened each time? Bottles only be good for 10 minutes, and then you make new (taking half an hour a go, obviously...)

What is easier all depends on the baby I think. I've had 5. With the twins bottles were much easier than BF because I had a lot of willing helpers around. With DS2 I had 3 other children and he fed like an absolute dream so BF was easier. With DD3 she had a tonne of allergies and was a poor feeder so bottles ended up easier as it was easier to eliminate allergens and also it's easier to wiggle the bottle teat than my nipple.

Circumstances also play a part in what's easier. With the twins I had loads of help whereas with DS2 I was also caring for older children and my Nana (who brought me up) had dementia so thankfully he fed easily.

I don't know why people find it so tricky to wash and sterilise the bottles: you just wash them in warm soapy water, rinse and at the end of the day put them all into the steriliser for a few minutes

I don't think anyone has said it's tricky. Obviously it's not tricky but I found it to be a pain in the arse. It was one job, hanging over you, that had to be done each day. Mine were older before they got bottles. I know I would have found that very stressful in the early days.

I FF my first - within hours neither I or her could get into the swing of BF.

I BF my second. I would say the initial first couple of weeks were harder than FF. Once established after a couple of weeks was definitely easier BF in the longer term (and cheaper) BF also slept much better than my FF.

No regrets how I fed either. Two children now 15 & 22 you wouldn’t have a clue which was one BF or FF :) if I had a third would have given BF a go and never put any pressure either way!

I’m surprised no one has said this already, but formula fed babies tend to sleep better and sleep through the night much earlier, and just generally be a bit more content. It fills them up better than breast milk does.

I formula fed my first, it was so easy. Those who think it's more work I suspect are doing it as themselves rather than sharing the load. I got an unbroken night sleep every other night. Glorious!

My second I breastfed (mix fed fail). I had an easy breastfeeding journey. Baby latched perfectly immediately, fed efficiency (10 minute feeds), minimal pain for a few days only, good supply, fed for over 2 years. It was about as good a breastfeeding journey as you could get. It was still much harder than formula feeding because it was all me. I'll take a bit of washing up (that's again shared) over doing all night, every night. Still feeding with D&V, the flu, covid. I didn't get a 3 hour block for 9 months - I got 7 hour blocks every other night with my first baby.

I breastfeed my 3, but I remember when I accidentally fell pregnant with #3 saying I would be bottle feeding them because I couldn’t breastfeed again for 9 + months. I can’t even remember why but obviously I was finding it gruelling! I did end up breastfeeding her… for almost 2 years! So I obviously got over it. I think my nipples were just touched out tbh.

Formula fed my second after breastfeeding my first. For me, it made everything SO much easier, and I wish I'd formula fed my first tbh.

Agree completely with @Babyboomtastic there are no breaks from breastfeeding, no matter how you feel. It's very very hard

I disagree (which is the point that many other pps have made, it's different for everyone, for every family). My 2nd baby spends a lot of time in the baby carrier as it's easier to take them along (to drop offs, walks, 1st child activities, etc.) this way. I can breastfeed with baby in the carrier without having to take baby out, prep a bottle, use both hands to hold and feed, etc. I take a boob out and done, hands free and I can walk and keep doing what I'm doing. I find this much easier than having to sterilise bottle, carry milk around, stop everything and having to bottle feed etc. BUT I know this is far from being the case for all breastfeeding mothers.