Formula feeding second child 'because it's easier'

[WiseSheep]

My mum and a few people of her generation that I know have said they formula fed their second child 'because it was easier'. I'm just wondering if anyone knows why it might be easier? Or if anyone did it and found it easier?

I'd rather not ask my mum as it'll turn into a 'thing' about breastfeeding but am really curious.

I'm looking for people's reasoning here however I'm really not looking to judge or start a breast v bottle debate.

Your partner/ other people would be able to help if formula feeding, meaning you can get more rest.

I've never formula fed, but based on my observations of friends who did, I think it's probably easier in the early weeks as long as you you have someone to help you. I mean having a newborn is draining however you feed them i'm sure but the early weeks of breastfeeding are relentless, and for most people, at least uncomfortable. I can see the appeal of having someone else share the feeding, being able to get a bit more sleep etc. I can understand why lots of women give up at that stage and I think that the difficulties are often glossed over by HCPs and pro breastfeeding groups and individuals. I think most women do find it hard going at first and it only makes it harder if they've been sold the image of the relaxed new mum gazing lovingly into her newborn's eyes whilst she feeds and reality proves very different. OK maybe it is blissful from the outset for some women, but I don't know any of them! * *
But once you get through those initial difficulties and are confident, I think breastfeeding is probably easier, especially if you're not really a routine orientated person. I liked the fact that I could chuck a few nappies in my bag, put baby in the sling and go wherever I liked without having to even think about how and where I would feed them or if I might run out of milk. No planning, preparation or clearing up required which suited me very well.
I found the first 2-3 months difficult on each occasion that I breastfed but after that I found it progressively easier and easier. I loved the freedom it gave me. Second and third times were definitely better. I still found it physically very tough at first but psychologically it was easier, because having done it before I knew from experience that there were better times to come soon and I didn't worry as much.

I’m currently breastfeeding my first baby (5 weeks) and I’m continuing out of stubbornness but I’m finding it tough. I can imagine FF is easier because:

• Soneone else can feed the baby from time to time to give you a break;
• FF takes longer for baby to digest so bigger gaps between feeds and more likely to settle at night
• Breastfeeding in the early weeks seems to be a round the clock full time job and (as a previously active person) I’ve found it mentally tough being sat on the sofa for so many hours;
• I’m still developing confidence to BF in public so find it stressful leaving the house in case baby cries for a feed;
• We’ve had tongue tie issues and a visit to a&e when baby spat up blood which turned out to be due to a bleeding cracked nipple that I couldn’t see.

It really depends on you. I was shocked by how hard establishing bf was with my first. It took weeks and weeks of alternating bf with pumping as my nipples were extremely sensitive and sore. The same thing happened with my second - after 3 months I no longer used the pump but I seem to get a blocked duct or hard/sore area on either boob every couple of weeks, meaning I have to feed on all fours and take ibuprofen to clear it. I have diagnosed myself with Extremeley Sensitive Boobs and I believe these types of boobs to be very tricky when it comes to feeding lol

My boobs are also huge while feeding, so being out and about isn’t a breeze and it’s hard and uncomfortable to get the right position sometimes. I think a pp said they could bf baby while pushing their toddler on a swing - absolutely no way I’d be able to do that due to sheer size of boobs 😂

A couple of my friends are long term bf’ers and I asked them about the issues I had with pain etc and their response was that they didn’t really experience any pain, even at the start!! So it really just depends on you and your boob type! I didn’t find FF any harder than BF with my first.

I found FF easy peasy. With the new equipment available it literally takes a minute to make a bottle fresh and from scratch at the exact temperature and you can take this equipment out with you so it’s simple to do out and about too. Yes you have to wash bottles but I already have to wash up stuff at home so it was just an extra thing to wash up along with everything else. I used the dishwasher tbh and then shoved it all in a big steriliser until I needed the bottle. I was able to go out and leave baby with DH whenever I wanted and feeding was quite scheduled so so simple to plan around and naps kind of fell in sync with feeds so days were predictable.

I'm just wondering if anyone knows why it might be easier?

Use your critical thinking skills OP. Use your imagination. Can’t you think of a possible reason it might be easier? You say you’re not judging but… come on. Listen to yourself.

If you really need a specific example, formula was far easier for us because breastfeeding DC1 led to failure to thrive - 90th centile to 2nd centile by 12 weeks old, and that’s with formula/pumped top ups. Thanks to the breast is best brigade via health visitors and midwives, and societal pressure, DS was skin and bone. So obviously when DC2 came along, I wasn’t going to deal with that on top of also having a 2 year old. Tried again for DC3 but same thing happened and I absolutely was not going to sit for hours pumping - given, you know, I never got any milk. Makes sense right? Thank god for formula.

My sympathies for your diagnosis 🤣 Extremely Sensitive Boobs is a very serious condition, so hugs 🫶 haha
I remember waking up on a morning and the hardness of them would be absolute agony, unable to touch them at all, and then trying to get him to latch on to relieve some pressure was a nightmare! The joys eh x

I EFF (yeah it’s a thing) and it was easy peasy. Perfect prep. Husband washed and sterilised bottles before bed. I would go and sleep from evening feed, husband would do 1am feed then bring the baby up in the basket, I’d do the feed after that during the week while H worked and he’d take over at the weekend.

My sister was pinned to the couch breastfeeding for hours in the early days. I remember feeling sad for her toddler son when she couldn’t play with him for hours because she was feeding for such a long time.

The thing is, even as someone who found BF easy (there wasn't an 'establishment' period, just plug and play from the start), it was still much harder than FF.

FF was a bit more faffy, but I only did half of it. I BF round the clock with no breaks. The difference was no sleep deprivation vs crippling sleep deprivation.

It's what she wanted and emotionally needed, so no regrets where we ended up, but it shifted to load 90% to me rather than equal parenting. It was knackering.

Mix feeding sounds like the dream - the benefits of both sides.

I EBF both mine and I honestly think after you get through the newborn stage BF the second is much easier, you don’t have to find time for sterilising bottles and you can just feed wherever you are out and about or playing with the older one.

I accept that, once established, breastfeeding is clearly more convenient when out and about (I have never breastfed).

however, I don’t really get why some people go on about sterilising bottles like it’s some big chore?

I literally put them in the steriliser and switched on the microwave 😕

I know. If sticking bottles in a steriliser is so difficult, making a cuppa must be absolutely insurmountable 😂

Also, it's a very minor chore that can be shared (as can the feeding).

Oh, I know.

I use mam bottles and they self sterilise in the microwave.

It's really never been easier to formula feed, especially with all of the gadgets available such as the perfect prep and if you aren't comfortable with those, the WHO making it clear that preparing bottles in advance and storing in the back of the fridge for up to 24 hours isn't dangerous.

It doesn't have to be all on you either. DH can do it just as easily as I can when it comes to all things bottle/formula related. It would be all or mostly down to me with breastfeeding and that's something I wanted to avoid.

The perfect prep is an absolute game changer. We used that in the house, and ready made cartons out and about. Honestly it really wasn’t difficult.

I have never FF, and my convenience was never a factor in the decision, but I cannot imagine how FF could possibly be easier than bf

Well I’m guessing that you’re one of the lucky ones for whom it was easy from the start. I’m sure you’re not narrow minded enough to believe that this is a universal experience.

Anyway, i believe there are pros and cons to both, in terms of convenience. What is very convenient about formula feeding is the fact that sometimes I didn’t have to do it at all (and could sleep/shower/play with my older child instead).

The fact that I don't have to do it all was a big deciding factor for me. Nothing is easier than handing a baby and a bottle over for someone else to do it without having to mess around with breast pumps and expressing.

I'm guessing that the people who 'cant imagine how FF could be easier' have partners who don't pull their weight, because it's pretty obvious that work that is shared falls less on one person.

How can having every night broken be easier than having full nights of sleep?

When DD was born the guidelines then allowed for making up bottles ahead of time so every evening either myself or DH would sterilise and prep 6 bottles and put them in the fridge. By the time DS was born 4 years later they had changed and you were supposed to make each one fresh but we decided to do what we did for DD.
SIL had a baby around the same time as me and I could have DS fed, changed burped and alseep while she was waiting for the kettle to cool down

You can’t imagine?? Actually? Christ you must have lived a very sheltered, narrow and straightforward life.

I don’t know anyone who makes bottles from scalding water and waits for it to cool down when a baby would be screaming for milk. They either use ready made, prep machine or heat up a pre made bottle from the fridge. It’s really not difficult to prepare formula and wash and sterilise bottles. It takes minutes

I think literally every formula feeder I know these days has a prep machine.

Formula feeding a newborn would be an absolute dream, provided they tolerated the formula ok. By comparison, breastfeeding is incredibly hard work because the feeds are so frequent and for many women, myself included, breastfeeding really really hurts for the first few weeks or months.
After six months though I found breastfeeding fantastic. No prep, cleaning or pain. I liked sitting on the couch looking at my baby/out the window/scrolling on my phone.

SIL did, this was pre these machines.
It was crazy but she was PFB to the max due to her anxiety anyway. She refused to give her child medicine for 2 months plus as PFB was 2 days away from being 2 months old.

I suppose the guidelines must have changed as when I bottle fed i was told to never make and store bottles and heat them up, had to make them fresh every single time (or buy the premade formula which was much more expensive)

Last time I had a baby the prep machines were quite new and there was some scandal about a type that wasn't able to be fully taken apart to be cleaned resulting in some babies getting very sick.

So in my circles I only knew people who made fresh bottles every time and yes it was awful trying to cool them down while the baby screamed, if you were in a perfect routine all was well but all bottles were meant to be thrown out if unfinished after 2 hours so you couldn't make them far in advance.