Average motherhood age

[moonsovermiami]

Motherhood and age.
I know this has been done a million times
But...
I'm interested to know, among your circles what is the most common age to be having baby no 1, 2 etc
Just curious...

@Jalapenosplease

"And 40+ is bordering on unfair to both mother and children.

People that have met much later in life or who have had fertility struggles, I do view very differently. But I do think it rather selfish when people have been together decades and put the whole travelling thing as a priority and then decide to start reproducing at 40. There always the ones that struggle to adapt to parenthood as well in my opinion."

Why do you judge some people more than others who have kids at the same age but in different circumstances? What difference does it make to the child? My mother had me at 25 and my youngest sister (as pleasant surprise!) at 40, should she be judged for that in your eyes?

People say that young mothers get judged but I see an awful lot of women being judged for being older. I wonder sometimes if it's because people resent the fact these women have lived a full life and are still able to enjoy having children.

The circumstances in your example are completely different.

Your mother didn't start her family in her 40s secondary to career I assume.

Or lots of people are finding they can't afford it or are not ready to have them younger and want to be in a position to own a home first. Most women having them in their 20s will be on universal credit and paying rent, it will be tough to make ends meet and have to rely on being supported by their partner for many years, and the whims of a landlord putting them in a vulnerable financial position.

DD1 will be at university until she is 24 at least as her course involves an integrated masters. It's not unusual for people going into professional careers to be training until their mid to late 20s.

Then lots of graduates are starting their lives with huge debt now.

I qualified as a solicitor aged 28 and got married at the same age, and had DD1 a year later, and DD2 when I was 33. In my social groups most were 35+ having their first.

It's not "career career career" for me - I work to live. To live a good quality of life is my aim.

My eldest is 12, but in our 'baby group' there are three 50th this year! There were a couple of women in the group who were late 20s, and most of us were 30-35, with these few in their late 30s.

meanwhile, in my younger son's year 4 class, all but two mum, was in their 30s when they had their eldest, with one having been 40 (it's her younger child in the class).

I think this is shaped a bit by area. We are in an expensive commuter zone, and most women are, or were, professionals.

It should also be pointed out that a lot of men don't want kids until they are in their late 30s or 40s, and it takes two to tango.

I think it depends a huge amount on educational level simply because someone who leaves school at 16 or 18 and is working has already started adult life so having a baby in your 20s is normal. People who go to university don't start working until around 21 or later so inevitably have babies later. They are also more likely to prioritise their career compared to someone who is in a lower paid job.

All my friends are uni educated, I was the first to have a baby at 27, none of the others started until early-mid 30s. I was unusual as I married immediately after graduating.

Well I was 27 when I had my first and 30 when I had (have, I’m having a C-section this morning 😂) my second and in my immediate friendship group I’m the oldest. Youngest was 24 for first and 27 for second, but yea, mid/late twenties for the first and a couple of years later for the second is pretty ‘normal’ in my circles. Varying degrees of education and career level.

No need to guess. Average age of mother at childbirth England and Wales 1938-2022, by child number. In 2022 the average age of mothers giving birth to their first child in England and Wales was 29.2 years of age, followed by 31.5 years for the second child, 32.6 for the third child, and 33.6 for the fourth child.8 Jan 2025. This then affcted by levels of education, as this is an average age.

I had my first in my early 20s and was a complete outlier in my social circle.

Almost all of my friends had their first aged 30-32 and then a second 2 or 3 years later.

I'm the only one in my close circle to have more than two children (I have three).

I was 36 when I had DD. I was a little but much not older than most of my parent-peers. I'd say the average for a first child was 34.

SW London.

Less about career, more about financial stability.

People tend to get the relationship with their kids they deserve.

By 23 I was married, a homeowner, uni educated, had a career that I could easily go back to after mat leave and I became a Mum. Mid 30s now and most of our friends that have chosen to have children have started in their early to mid 30s. Our kids will be adults in less than a decade and our mortgage will be paid off.

You can probably guess what advice I give to my now teen DC ;)

I could have climbed the ladder at work or decided to travel across the world , moved into a big house, but actually having children is the best thing I've ever achieved by a long long mile

I’m sorry you weren’t able to do that. I was able to do all those things and I’ve just had my first in my early 30s, absolutely no regrets here as I have a wonderful husband, successful career where I’m senior enough to be flexible so I can be around loads for my daughter and work part time, a lovely home and plenty of money to give stability and opportunities, plus we travelled well before so happy to focus on more child centric holidays now.

I had none of that in my early 20s and I’m extremely glad I don’t saddle a child with my then partner. Most people aren’t mature enough to pick a good father for their kids in their early 20s!

I’ll be encouraging my daughter to aim for similar as it’s bloody wonderful being a mum but so much easier and more enjoyable when you’re established and have enjoyed being selfish and free in your 20s IMO.

Almost all the mums I know are my age or older, it’s unusual round here to have kids before 30 unless (sorry for the cliche) you didn’t do further education or have a career.

Exactly this for both mine and my partner's friends, and us as well!

I don’t understand the excitement at kids becoming adults. I’m loving the childhood stage and will be quite sad when they’re grown and leaving home! We’re also able to pay off our mortgage at a similar age because we front loaded the payments, so I don’t think that’s to do with having kids young.

@Jalapenosplease often this is really not the case, I would've loved a family earlier and would have always prioritised this over a career however I didn't meet my partner until I was 35 so we ended up having them late, for me I haven't struggled with any kind of chaos at all. In fact, I'm a much more patient and well rounded person than I was in my 20s. My closest friends have had the same experience, the dating pool dramatically decreases as you get older and they didn't meet their partners or spouses until their early to mid 30s as well so had children at 35+. In my experience you change a lot throughout your 20s and aren't always as well matched to your partner in later life

I’m not excited to wish their childhoods away. I am however very happy to watch them grow up into independent, happy, confident adults who are enjoying living their lives which is what we all want for our kids. Hopefully I’ll be young and healthy enough to help them with that transition into adulthood and to be able to support them (without being annoying lol ;) ) through their adulthood for as long as possible too. That for me is exciting. But obviously different strokes for different folks and all that with what they decide is best for their family. If only we all had a crystal ball eh.

One and only - pregnant at 25, gave birth at 26. I'm now 30.

I was 38 when I had my youngest. Most women my age at baby groups etc were the grandmother there to support their DD and grandchild. I'm around a decade older than a lot of people with kids the age of my middle child. Much more typical with my oldest as I was 21 when I had him. It really depends on the area I think.

As @YaWeeFurryBastard said, we waited until we had financial stability, two good careers (and the flexibility that brings) and a lot of life experience and travel. It was the right decision for us. We lived in London, and now the SE, and the norm seems to be mid thirties to mid forties in our circles. We were mid thirties for our first, and late thirties for our second. Haven't ruled out a third at 40 yet. Our friends are having children at a similar age so we're at the same life stages. We haven't struggled with the chaos, I'm loving these years with a toddler and a baby

Will read all responses a bit later on :-)

I had my children 16+ years ago aged 23 and 28.

Most of my friends had their children between 29 and 33. My SIL is the "oldest" mum I've known, she had my nephew 17 years ago at 39 (she's a fair bit older than me)

It's not greedy or self-absorbed to make sure you're financially secure and settled before you have a family. And having children is not an achievement - you've literally just done what the human body is designed to do.

I could have done what you did - I met my partner at 24 and we could have got a mortgage on a tiny flat and had babies. But thank goodness we didn't, because financially and personally it would have been a terrible idea. Instead we worked hard on our careers (meaning I knew I would be financially independent if we split), saved for a deposit on a decent house we could stay in long-term, had some lovely holidays and experiences unencumbered by children and grew up into responsible adults together, and ended up having children the same age as all our friends (mid-30s) so we have that shared life-stage and experience and our kids are growing up together.

Women have always had babies well into their 30s, even 40s if their health was good enough. Now we have contraception and a choice, the majority of women delay having children until they really want them. This can only be a good thing.

First child? Around mid-twenties to 30. In my circle. Various circs, some professionals and homeowners, some not, it differs.

I don't know that many who have children in their mid-30s to 40 and only one who had her second at 42, but she is seen as a bit crazy for it, have to admit.

I had mine at 24, she's 12 now. Only child, don't want more. I went to uni, have my own business and own a house, so my child certaily didn't stop me (or my friends).

I'm 37 now, DD is 12, needs way less active, hands-on parenting as a baby/toddler does. I can do whatever I want to, we travel lots together, go to gigs, days out, etc. Life's good.

There's zero chance I'd want all the night feeds and running after a toddler now. And I'd rather poke my eyes out than do it in my 40s. All my friends seem to think the same.

Although obviously I don't think anything about people having children in their 30s, to each their own and all that.

Going by the people I know, 20s.