It’s the classic “should I have a third” question…

[Illprobsregretthis]

I know this one has been done to death. But those of you with 3 or more kids: how hard is it really? I have a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old and I keep thinking I’d love a third in a few years, but then I’ve also found having 2 with this age gap incredibly draining. It’s such a weird biological impulse to completely blow up my life just as I’m about to get it back with returning to work 😂

Also would love any practical advice esp around finances… like could I even afford 3 given formula and electric / gas keeps going up and up and up? My husband and I earn approx 100K between us and have some savings but not too much.

I literally just posted on another thread:

We've got 3 (unexpected twins) and whilst it's fantastic to have twins, it's only enjoyable because we can luckily afford 3 children. Our careers have changed course since we had DTwins and it's pure luck that they have, had we stayed on the same trajectory, knowing what our costs have risen too, we would be struggling with 3 children now.
Three don't fit comfortably across the back of a lot of cars. 5 people and their belongings/luggage make trips out/holidays a squeeze. It's not until you're "more than a 4" that you realise how much of the world is set up for 4 or less. You constantly have one too many, so to speak. So you queue up for things twice so everyone gets a go. And that's not being dramatic about rare occasions like theme park rides, it's countless things, every day.
You'll get the "all you need is love" brigade, who haven't got big incomes, furious that you've made a slight on their many children living in a shoe who are naturally the happiest children in the land. But back in the real world, children are not just thrilled to be a part of a brood, they are individuals who need their own space, own attention, time, love, care, and all the resources too. Three to feed, clothe, educate, house, childcare bills, parties, hobbies, school trips, uni, just life itself.
It's a lot, and it's a huge difference to everyone if you are able to still give three children the same attention, resources and life opportunity you could give one or two.

I know a family where the wife kept looking at the spare space in the car and wanted a third child to fill it. Pregnancy number three involved an unexpected set of twins, so they had to buy a seven-seater car. Now the husband puts the dog very firmly in the "spare" seventh seat 😁

Personally speaking, three very close in age would have been my worst nightmare. But it's definitely each to their own as mine are 17.5 years, almost 15 and 4.
I'm 44 and hubby 49 so incredibly lucky to have a very hands-on dad. Zero regrets 😀

@Illprobsregretthis
Just to say a bit more on the university question. Upthread, you said that if they pick a university with expensive halls that they can just ‘get a student loan’. The problem is that loans themselves are means tested and the maximum loan is now often less than the costs of attending university, as many halls are now commercially operated and far more expensive than they used to be. This is the case in England at least, although I appreciate that it may be different in Scotland and it sounds like you have some good local options.

Also, life happens…My own parents probably thought that they were well set for three children and had made a big move out of London to a large house with plenty of space, but one of them was diagnosed with cancer just a few weeks afterwards. They were alive for my whole childhood but I am sure that it affected their parenting capacity and they were terminally ill by my mid twenties. It was terrible to lose them but obviously my sibling was younger still…

it’s a personal choice.