2 day old will not sleep unless he's in my arms

[anonny55]

Please tell me this is normal. I'm EXHAUSTED so is DH. Night 1 in hospital post c section was just horrific. No birth partners allowed and all baby did was cry so midwife's would come in and say he wants cuddles from mum etc so pass him to me then leave. I couldn't move myself still and hadn't slept at all so was litterally falling asleep with him in my arms so called midwife in to put him back in the crib - then he'd just scream again. He'd had nappy change, obs done, bottles, winded etc just so unsettled. DH came to hospital as soon as visiting hours allowed so I could go to sleep but between all the baby's crying and other people on the ward and the 100 checks from midwife's wanting obs I slept for about an hour. Anyway didn't sleep a wink night 1. Night 2 we're home and he will just cry and cry unless one of us hold him. Get him asleep and try and transfer to crib he spends 10 mins in there then screams and screams😩😩 DH is also really trying. We're bottle feeding so we're both taking turns in napping then the other doing everything. It's DH turn to nap and I'm litterally falling asleep with baby in my arms. I'm petrified I will fall asleep holding him and the worse happen but I'm that exhausted I just cannot keep my eyes open😢 is this just my baby?! I love him so much but wow this is so so difficult and I'm struggling more than I thought I would😩we have a Moses basket and next to me crib and he won't settle in either. Tried white noise doesn't work. Tried rocking him in his buggy doesn't work. He just wants to be held😭

💐 poor you! DS was like that in his first week... I literally sat in bed holding the baby as I couldn't even put him down beside me.
I persevered with putting him down and he eventually accepted to sleep beside me... the first few weeks can be hard and relentless but I promise you, it will get better at some point!
DS is 14 now and happy, healthy and independent!

your so lucky they let you out after a few days they kept me a week.I almost fell asleep with baby in my arms in the hospital,i was so stressed because i was recovering from a c section with no sleep .My other half stuck at home with kids and a baby that wanted to feed every hour.I breastfed but baby is a terrible sleeper,hes nearly 3 months and currently snoozing on my chest. He still eats every hour and a half and is a nightmare to sleep in his bed.You kind have to get them in a good sleep before putting them down and then tuck them in so they feel snuggled

I found holding him against my chest while stroking his hair gets him in a good sleep

Youre doing great OP - what you’re experiencing is normal and does gradually ease . Do what you need to do to function -lots of great suggestions from others so I won’t repeat . Good luck

Of course he does. He's just been inside you bathed in amniotic fluid and now he's out in the big, bright world. You make him feel safe. Poor baby! Cuddle him. Get a sling too. What about co-sleeping?

Read up about the fourth trimester.

And congrats!

Lots of good advice. Our first night out of hospital post CS was horrific. We were in for a few days though and I think the heat of the hospital does create a soporific effect on babies to some extent so thought we were doing great.

Our massive learning after 5 hours of screaming and floor pacing was MIL stepping in [who'd been trying to sleep next door in our tiny 2 bed house] about 4am; sitting down on the side of our bed and very firmly and briskly winding our newborn before handing her back. While we'd been winding after feeds [or so we thought] we had not produced anything like the drunken mans belch that emanated from our baby before she passed out for 3 hours.

Accept all help you can especially from experienced people. 😉

*sit baby on lap, place your hand on her chest and lean over so in a > position [but not so folded]. Commence brisk back rubbing with pressure as though sanding a floor. Occasionally lift baby up and down to stretch out .

Best of luck. Make sure you take your painkillers and get some sleep. You need to not end up with an infection.

Really, really normal. I don’t know why no one ever talks about how much of a shock it all is if you’ve never had a baby before. When I got dd home I was so sleep deprived I fell into a very deep post natal depression and it only lifted when she started to sleep longer. It was torture.

With Ds I was more prepared for it (ten year gap between them both) and gave him a dummy from the start, swaddled him in muslin cloths and felt more confident that it was going to pass, and it does but it’s just fucking awful when you’re going through it.

Our hospital has level 3 Baby Friendly Accreditation (the highest) so I trust the advice from our Infant Feeding team. 50 ml for a newborn baby sounds way too much, even for a big baby. I would definitely cut down on the amount.

How will you know the baby is getting enough formula? You need to count wet and dirty nappies. At least 2 poos a day starting from day 2 (1 dirty nappy on day 1 is OK). 1 wet nappy on day 1, 2 wet nappies on day 2, 3 wet nappies on day 3, 4 wet nappies on day 4, 5 wet nappies on day 5 and 6 wet nappies at day from day 6 onwards is considered normal.

Your comminuty midwife will have his weight checked on day 5. Most babies lose some weight, up to 10 % weight loss is considered normal.

It is easy to overfeed bottle fed babies. This is where paced feeding comes in, the link is to follow.

I hope your boiler gets sorted today. It sounds very stressful. Hand on in there, take all the help you can get, sleep when the baby sleeps. It will get better.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2019/04/Infant-formula-and-responsive-bottle-feeding.pdf

Swaddle, love to dream newborn swaddle. Warm up the next toe with a hot water bottle before putting him in. Keep your hands on him and sssshh him for a minute when you put him down

Agree that it is normal AND exhausting. Split the night into 6h shifts if you can, and do a sleep hypnosis or something on yours. Or totally still in the dark with music or podcast if you can’t sleep. If you are nervous about co sleeping and want to try, being on the floor together is very safe. Also get someone to buy you adult diapers. Much better than pads pp.

so glad your family is stepping in too.

@anonny55 I was bleeding a lot after my section. I had a hospital grade absorbant pad (like a puppy pad) on the couch to protect it! It wasn't constant either, so I wouldn't necessarily worry that you're bleeding, but if it really seems excessive do go in to be checked out.

Very, very normal. Hospital is awful but once you're home there are plenty of things you can do to help - safe co sleeping, etc.

How come your husband is knackered? He's not really done anything and it's just the first night.

Yep, swaddling and a dummy was a lifesaver for us!

Yes it's normal for a tiny baby to want to be cuddled a lot. Take it in turns with your dh. It will get easier.

I’m another who would suggest swaddling and a dummy. I’d swaddle, put in a dummy and rock till asleep and then put down. It worked well.

It's normal but youncould try heating the crib and blankets so that when you out him down he doesn't realise he's left your lovely cosy body. If you have a wheat bag pop it in the microwave to heat when he wakes and then pop in the crib so it warms while you feed him.