6 year old doing really well at school

[AlienLady]

My 6 year old is in the “top” of the class for both reading and maths.

How do I be proud of this without creating a boastful child? I want him to be proud of himself and keep going without boasting at school etc.

Keep encouraging him. My ds was very similar at 6 and maintained that all the way through his time in education, up to and including university. We didn't make a big deal of his attainments, he enjoyed an innate sense of achievement and just loved learning.

As the mum of two very high performing kids in primary I'm interested in knowing how you know your 6 year old is at the "top" of their class? A school report at teacher meetings would tell you how they are doing and greater depth etc but how do you know their relative rank compared to their peers?

Praise him for his achievements not in comparison to others. Comparing him to others is unnecessary and creates extra pressure to always be top of the class and he may well find there’s something he’s not so good at. For example I once taught an incredibly bright 6 year old who couldn’t for the life of him figure out how to tell the time. He had to go out with the kids who usually struggled with maths for extra time activities and that was really hard for him.

1. I got told by the PTA of the class.
2. He’s the only one on his level of reading.
3. He got a certificate for being the first one in Year 1 ever to going green on a times table app.

As others have said you celebrate that he is doing well and don’t compare him to others.
I have a Year 1 as well and told her she’d got a fantastic parents evening, and left it at that. She an end of August baby and a whole 11 months and 2 weeks younger than her bestie. Shes smashing things for her age and I’m super proud of her. So I’ve told her that, she should be proud of herself and that’s it done. She’s back off to play and be her happy confident self and hasn’t mentioned it anymore.
highly doubt your 6 year old will think anymore of it- or boast to others!

"Hey, that's great well done! What do you want on your toast?"

I wouldn't tell him he's 'top of the class'. I'd be extremely surprised if anyone uses that term in the classroom, and nor should they.
There will be other kids getting certificates for other achievements etc.

Just say 'well done, I can see you're trying so hard' and don't compare your child to any other child in the class.

Do you think he's inclined to boast? Most clever kids don't.

Just do the opposite of what you are doing here and he will be fine

I’m not sure. He’s proud of himself at home by saying “I’ve done really well”.
He also told me he that he mentioned in class he got a score and a fellow child said they got a better score. So makes me wonder if he boasts. He’s a sensible kind boy. If he does boast, it’s because he wants recognition, not to put others down. But not sure why? Is it something we’ve done?

What am I doing here?

Praise progress, not comparison.

If you want to try my parents' tactics. Just give only top marks a silent nod. Ignore anything less 😂

Seriously though, he's just 6, I would tell him to keep working hard and to the best of his ability. It doesn't really matter where in the class he is (you can bet they'll be other v bright kids in the class as he gets older, you don't want that shock to put him off and give up).

BarnacleBeasley

Do you think he's inclined to boast? Most clever kids don't.

Everyones different and he’s only 6, he might not realise!

He's 6. Of course he'll say how well he's done, he wants to please the important adults. It's not boasting, it's factual. They all discuss scores.

Tell him you're proud of him and not to compare himself to others. Others have different talents, or may well do better than him another time. He should just look to his own results and try his hardest.

I am trying to give my kids a growth mindset, so encouraging them to compare their achievements with what they could do last year and to think that they will be able to do more next year. So essentially that they only compare themselves with themselves. We also talk about who in tbe class is the friendliest and kindest, who listens best etc. and say that people are clever in different ways.
I was usually top of the class myself, as they seem to be too, and unfortunately what you learn from that is that you don’t need effort, or revision, or to listen very much. I am trying to give my kids a different outlook.

Tell us he's your PFB without telling us he's your PFB 🤣

I'd really like to know how you found out your son was top of his class? At parents evening this is not something teachers would say from my understanding.

I don't understand the question. Is it connected with this British thing of a race to the bottom - that you should be ashamed of your hard work and achievements? My son is 10, top of his class and I am extremely proud of him. Why would I want him to feel less than he is? It might be a cultural difference. Where I come from kids who are top of the class get books and rewards at the end of the school year for their dedication. They are supposed ot be a role model to the other kids/their parents who are supposed to pick up the slack and work harder.

@AlienLady ""Hey, that's great well done! What do you want on your toast?"

I’m friends with the class representative for the class.

Conversation went like this:
She said in her words “our child isn’t on the same level as your child and (another boys name).”
Us: “Huh what do you mean?”
Her: “Oh didn’t you know? Your child is classed as one of the top kids”
Us: “Oh okay”

Not sure where she got this info from. We were abit taken aback. Would love to know where it came from but not sure how that would look.

"Do you think he's inclined to boast? Most clever kids don't."

Not in my experience!

Important also to instil a sense of 'everyone brings something to the table'. Whilst X is brilliant at maths, Y is much better at football, Z is a very good storyteller. P is known for his kindness when anyone is hurt, whilst G can tell you anything about any animal on earth!

It's perfectly okay to praise him for doing well and to encourage that to continue. At 6, making a fuss of being top of the class is, in my opinion, not only inappropriate but also short sighted - things change RAPIDLY at this stage. Small, silly example - DD has always done very well at spelling. "Top of her class" in that until year 4, she always basically could spell all the words expected, plus usually all the words in the level up. She was the only one in her class at quite this level. She's STILL excellent at spelling and in the last spelling assessment she got something like 103 out of 108 for the full KS2 words..... but, there were children in her class who got 108. The point is that making a song and dance about being "top of the class" at this age is not helpful.

I agree with @Butterfly123456 though that there are times when being the best is perfectly reasonable to be celebrated - but that's usually as they go into high school.