111 reported me to safeguarding because I left my children play in their bedroom while I was getting dressed

[Mummaofgirlies]

Yesterday morning when I was getting dressed in my room and I let my two year old and four year old play in the older girls room. The stair gate was shut, they were playing nicely with Lego blocks which they have access to in the day. Then I heard a bang and the two year old started crying. As I rushed in I saw the her getting off the floor underneath the window. I gave her a cuddle and she started falling asleep on me. I thought it’s because she started getting cough this morning and we never get a good night sleep either, so I took her to my bed to read a book and she vomited. This could have been the benilin she had an hour ago, or she could have hit her head. I asked the four year old if her sister managed to climb on the windowsill and she said yes. To be on the safe side I called 111 and I explained that I was in a room next to them when it happened so I don’t know if she did or didn’t jump of the window or if she hit her head. I asked her if anything hurts and she pointed to her toes. She never touched her head at all actually. I explained that I don’t know if she really jumped off as it’s normally the older one that jumps of the windowsill. The person I spoke to told me to await a call from a clinician before going to the hospital. When the clinician called half an hour later he understood that my children jump out of the windows to the outside, to which I said no way, we have child locks, that would never happen. He told me that a safeguarding was made to social services because I left the children unsupervised. I spoke to my friend in children services and she confirmed that it’s another waste of time referral like they get many off, just like we had numerous inappropriate safeguarding referrals in adult social services, but still it doesn’t stop me from being really really annoyed with them. They didn’t ask why I wasn’t there or how long I left them alone. They didn’t consider that child’s bedroom is usually a safe place and they are there unsupervised when they go to sleep. I would like them to tell me how am I supposed to go to the toilet or do anything at all (make lunch, get them water to drink, fetch their clean clothes) if I can’t leave them unsupervised for two minutes. I’m also going to make a request to social services to access my records because I’m concerned that they wrote that I let my children jump out of the windows. I once had a GP writing that I physically attacked my partner after I was there with mental health problems mentioning that we had a fight (meaning argument). English is not my first language so she should have double checked that she understood me correctly. Luckily my regular GP saw it and told me about it and he edited it for me.
It sort of puts me off going to health for help when they do things like this.

just like we had numerous inappropriate safeguarding referrals in adult social services, but still it doesn’t stop me from being really really annoyed with them

Why did you have numerous referrals?

They’re doing their job, better to check it out and be nothing than children coming to harm.

Your post is a bit confusing at first read and I had to read it carefully again to see that your child jumped off a windowsill inside rather than out of a window.
Perhaps there was a misunderstanding with the 111 person as well?

I read it as fell off the windowsill inside but the safeguarding concern is that if they can climb onto the window sill can they fall out of the window, depends how the window opens.

What are you talking about? The op’s friend who works in adult social care had many inappropriate referrals.

We had referrals because people had packets from crisps on the floor or because they were drinking alcohol, so it was safeguarding. I can’t even remember the other reasons but it was on weekly basis just for the small area my team covered. None of them informed the patients that they are contacting us, which is the first thing to do in safeguarding vulnerable adults (most of the people were not even vulnerable, they were just over 50 needing medical help).

Apologies @Mummaofgirlies
I completely misread your post.

He said the safeguarding is because I left them in their room unsupervised. I did tell him the windows have child locks so it wouldn’t be about that.

Sounds like a misunderstanding, which I understand, I was a bit confused by your post. It did sound like your children might have been jumping off the window ledge maybe to outside and no idea from how high. If it's all sorted forget it, but try and be clearer another time.

The fact that dc 2 can get to the window sill is worrying OP because what if the window is left open one day and they manage to get up. Can you make that area safer by taking away whatever they use to climb up onto it. Or block it off somehow with large barrier of some sort so they can't get to the sill at all? I imagine that's what flagged it for them more of the what if 's as it does sound less than ideal. I don't think leaving your 2 yr old in a safe room is the cause for concern more that the room may not be safe as you think.

Are you sure its about you leaving them unsupervised or is there a concern that you caused a non accidental injury?

I worked in adult social care. My friend works in children services. Both services receive inappropriate referrals.

I thought she was actually working there?? I could be wrong.

Well he said it’s about leaving them unsupervised. Whether that really was the reason I don’t know. And in the end there wasn’t even an injury at all, the hospital said it could have been the cough medicine or being unwell full stop that made her vomit once and it coincided with me finding her on the floor.

Ok OP, the thing is they don't know you. You have to image this is an unknown family, a young child has been hurt in a room without an adult. They pass this info on because this unknown family could have 3 or 4 incidents that have happened. This could be a child at risk.

They are doing their job.

Luckily, you're going to learn that your 2 year old should probably not be in the room without you, and they'll take it no further because there are no other concerns.

I'm so glad they're doing their job. When you think of all those babies and children who might have been saved by more intervention.

Hope she's 100% now.

The world has gone mad. Of course your child can climb on a window sill, they'd be missing their physical development milestones if they couldn't. Part of being a parent is to teach them not too, obviously the message hasn't got through to your child yet and they did possibly climb. The window has locks on and is as safe as it possibly could be. This is totally normal childhood behaviour. Going into the next room for a couple of minutes to do chores or get changed while your children play together is also totally normal. I'm sure that when SS call you they will understand the situation. So sorry this is happening to you OP.

Perhaps it was, but she could have checked as I have an obvious accent. And then I explained to the clinician that there is no way they could jump off to the outside of the house because of the child locks, so he could have done something about it. From what I read I understand that the clinician forms part of the referral process.
I’m now feeling paranoid about going to the toilet or anything in case they hurt themselves again and I get another safeguarding referral. We have stair gates, corner protectors, rounded corners on their toddler table and chairs, cupboard locks, knives out of reach and yet they make me feel like this.

Is your daughter ok?! If she had a potential head injury drowsiness and vomiting are pretty bad signs.

Where I live small children are automatically referred to social workers in hospital for a head injury regardless of the reason, it’s standard practice (I’m not in the uk) You did the right thing getting her seen.

Thank you. I do try to be clear but English is my second language so it’ll never be perfect. Also when they asked how high it is I said about a meter, 110 and then I told the clinician that my husband measured it and it’s 90cm. Sorry it’s something I didn’t put in my post. I think I’m just getting myself too wound up over this because I’m constantly running around the children and not sleeping properly at night.

Thank you. Some people wouldn’t even call 111. So I know I do care for my children’s wellbeing and safety.

Surely it’ll just be for reference.
they have to do it because if this starts becoming a ‘thing’ they’ve covered their backs.

I have to report loads as a teacher. Doesn’t often go past the safeguarding lead but it’s just in case.

When my son fell down the stairs aged 19m (stair gate failed) we had to call 999 and they came and took photos of the stair gate half way down the stairs and the rip on the wallpaper. I don’t get angry they were keeping children safe.

While these little actions sometimes seem extreme and questioning to us that have genuine accidents and adore our kids, there are also people out there that don’t do the same sadly.

Sorry, I can see from your post why someone might be confused and concerned.

You left a small child unsupervised in a room with an older child known to climb on the windowsill and jump off - did you not consider that the younger child may try to copy this?

You run in on hearing a bang and finding the smaller child under the window but you didn't ask the older child if the younger one climbed up and fell off until after the younger one was falling asleep AND had vomited?!

Surely thats the first thing you do, try to work out WTF happened.

If you didn't see it, then assume a bang to the head and take appropriate action, which in this case would be seeking medical advice, not waiting a while and doing other things.

And when you did seek medical advice you weren't particularly clear - surely its pretty obvious the first thing anyone is worried about when they hear children are climbing on windowsills is 'can they fall out of the window'.

Even if it was clear the child could not fall out of the window, it is still concerning that you know your older child does this, you have not done anything to stop them doing it and you've left your younger child unsupervised to copy this or get fallen on/jumped on by the older child.

I'd say that is a safeguarding risk. Make that space safe before leaving kids unsupervised. Take the younger one to the loo with you if you can't provide a safe space!

We have too many people unable or unwilling to make a sensible call about normal everyday things, OP and it's wearing for the people who have to sift through all those pointless referrals. But more than that, the level of basic comprehension from many people who answer calls or online chats is derisory. I used to assume that the people answering the lines were put in difficult positions where they didn't have enough time to really take in what they were being told, but then I worked in a call centre and realised that wasn't the limiting factor there are just a lot of people who can't or won't understand something that isn't following the script they expect. You see it on MN all the time - large numbers of posters are unable to understand an OP that isn't bullet points or they completely skip over crystal clear parts that don't support whatever path they want the thread to go down, it's somewhat shocking.

I think you just need to take a deep breath and be glad you're not lumbered with the lack of thinking skills that so many people seem to have to go through life with.

Yes she is, thank you. During the initial phone assessment she perked up and she started running around climbing on the beds and jumping off and she was completely fine when I took her in for observations. I now doubt she hit her head at all because she actually never pointed to it or touched it and she is able to point to parts of her body when she’s hurting because she scratched herself (she has eczema). I think she vomited because she had breakfast, 90ml of milk and some cough medicine and it still didn’t agree with her when she was hopping about an hour later (she does little jumps when she walks fast). They were moving the mega blocks from one basket to another, few steps away from each other.