111 reported me to safeguarding because I left my children play in their bedroom while I was getting dressed

[Mummaofgirlies]

Yesterday morning when I was getting dressed in my room and I let my two year old and four year old play in the older girls room. The stair gate was shut, they were playing nicely with Lego blocks which they have access to in the day. Then I heard a bang and the two year old started crying. As I rushed in I saw the her getting off the floor underneath the window. I gave her a cuddle and she started falling asleep on me. I thought it’s because she started getting cough this morning and we never get a good night sleep either, so I took her to my bed to read a book and she vomited. This could have been the benilin she had an hour ago, or she could have hit her head. I asked the four year old if her sister managed to climb on the windowsill and she said yes. To be on the safe side I called 111 and I explained that I was in a room next to them when it happened so I don’t know if she did or didn’t jump of the window or if she hit her head. I asked her if anything hurts and she pointed to her toes. She never touched her head at all actually. I explained that I don’t know if she really jumped off as it’s normally the older one that jumps of the windowsill. The person I spoke to told me to await a call from a clinician before going to the hospital. When the clinician called half an hour later he understood that my children jump out of the windows to the outside, to which I said no way, we have child locks, that would never happen. He told me that a safeguarding was made to social services because I left the children unsupervised. I spoke to my friend in children services and she confirmed that it’s another waste of time referral like they get many off, just like we had numerous inappropriate safeguarding referrals in adult social services, but still it doesn’t stop me from being really really annoyed with them. They didn’t ask why I wasn’t there or how long I left them alone. They didn’t consider that child’s bedroom is usually a safe place and they are there unsupervised when they go to sleep. I would like them to tell me how am I supposed to go to the toilet or do anything at all (make lunch, get them water to drink, fetch their clean clothes) if I can’t leave them unsupervised for two minutes. I’m also going to make a request to social services to access my records because I’m concerned that they wrote that I let my children jump out of the windows. I once had a GP writing that I physically attacked my partner after I was there with mental health problems mentioning that we had a fight (meaning argument). English is not my first language so she should have double checked that she understood me correctly. Luckily my regular GP saw it and told me about it and he edited it for me.
It sort of puts me off going to health for help when they do things like this.

I had a similar incident 13 years ago, although no referral was made and English is my primary language. I had made bread in the bread machine earlier in the day and the internal bucket that the bread bakes in was on the counter (no bread in it, just the empty bucket). My toddler daughter came up behind me and as I turned to face her, my elbow caught the bucket and it fell on my daughter's head. She cried and had a bit of a lump on her head but was otherwise fine. However, she did get sleepy. It was the right time for a late nap, but I wanted to be safe so I called 111 and explained, then went on the school run after they told me to keep an eye on her and someone would call back. At school, they called back and said "I understand a bread machine fell on your daughter's head"! So my clear explanation of events had given the impression that the entire (very heavy) bread machine had fallen on my daughter's head! Given that that's what they thought, I'm surprised no referral was made, because that suggests a fairly unsafe environment! Anyway, I just wanted to say that you did the right thing by calling, I understood exactly what you meant, but I guess they have to be safe and cover all bases otherwise there is a risk that they will miss something and a child could be in actual danger.

When the clinician called half an hour later he understood that my children jump out of the windows to the outside, to which I said no way, we have child locks, that would never happen. He told me that a safeguarding was made to social services because I left the children unsupervised

It sounds like the SG referral was made at a time when they thought that your two year old child had been left alone for such a long time that they’d been able to fall from a window and land outside. That’s quite a reasonable thing to make a SG referral for. They have processes to follow in their job, the same as you do in yours. And yes, in your case, it’s unwarranted. But they wouldn’t be doing their job if they ignored it. Their duty is to the safety of your child; not to care about your annoyance. And quite right too.

Also, you come into a room, find your child on the floor, she’s showing signs of concussion and, having discovered she hit her head, you aren’t rushing her to A&E? I’m curious why you thought that it would be ok to hang about waiting for 111?

This is pretty unrealistic, lots of us have very low windows that it would be impossible to block off. All of mine have window seats that are about 18 inches off the floor.

The appropriate safety measure is to install restrictors / guards on all windows to ensure that they physically cannot be opened wide enough to allow a child to fall through them.

I said I would be annoyed, but still they are doing their job.

It's 100% this. If I make a referral, it's because I potentially don't have the whole picture. But if I make a referral and school have suspected something etc, a fuller picture can be made. Genuine accidents happen in the home and thus nothing more serious comes of it. But this isn't the case for every child.

I had this when I once rang 111 to say my baby had put some nappy cream in her mouth while I’d gone to get her socks, I didn’t think she’d swallowed any but I wanted to be on the safe side. When they called back they asked if I regularly left her alone in a room and I had to explain I hadn’t left her alone, the socks were on the other side of the same room, she’d just managed to grab a handful of sudocrem quickly while my back was turned.

It's normal. If's to make sure that it's not part of a bigger picture. Child could have head injury from 'falling off a windowsill' one week, from 'being in the park' the next and a broken arm from 'playing with their sibling' a week later when it's actually an abusive situation.

When my youngest was about 2 he fell on his head off the back of the settee and we ended up in a&e- a few days later the HV called just to check as it had been referred to SS. She just asked if he was ok and told us to contact if we needed anything.

The clinician is just doing their job to cover their back, which is fair enough. Its up to the ss to then decide what they want to do with the info. If they choose to ignore it and it later transpires that there was child abuse/neglect (not talking about your case in particular OP i am speaking in general terms) then it would be SSs failing rather than the clician's . The clinician can't and shouldn't take your word for it, nor can they come over and look to see if you have child locks etc. So they pass on that responsibility to the SS to take responsibility for it. I wouldn't leave a two year old or a 4 year alone with Lego, it could be a choking hazard for a start. At least two 4/5 year olds I know have managed to get lego stuck up their noses . I think what the clinician did was correct, children need safeguarding. If you've not done anything wrong, there's nothing for you to worry about. Also, if you know your 4 year old jumps off windowsils then you shouldn't be leaving them unsupervised next to a windowsil either.

Is it though?, I grew up on a farm, we played in the hay barns, chased after tractors trying to jump on the trailer, played in the river (diving into the old mill race) and threw wet sticks up onto the power lines (if you got one to strike two wires there was a huge flash and bang).

Still alive!

Oh for goodness sake OP, just understand that they are doing their job. No one is victimising you. I'm glad that they follow up every single safeguarding because the alternative is that children who are at risk get missed.
You sound quite entitled really, the rules apply to everyone, why would you be exempt?

All of this.

In your OP you wrote I explained that I don’t know if she really jumped off as it’s normally the older one that jumps of the windowsill.

Read that back to yourself. "My 4 year old regularly climbs up and jumps off the windowsill". I'd be appalled if there hadn't been a referral.

If you have a 4 year old that hasn't yet learned that is unacceptable, then yes, you supervise them more closely than if that is something that hadn't happened before. If you don't get that, then it is a very good thing that has now been recorded.

You have a 4 year old who climbs onto the windowsill and jumps off it. Now your 2 year old is copying that.
How have you let that happen? How has that behaviour in your 4 year old not been stopped?

If you don’t know to sort that behaviour out then maybe you need a referral and hopefully they put you on a parenting course.

Just pray your 4 year old doesn’t do that at someone else’s home with an open window.

I think you over explained yourself and theyve misunderstood.
My middle fell down a flight of stairs when she was a toddler and I never got referred to safeguarding!
It must have been that you said too much and they thought you'd left your child and they've jumped out of a window.
Any time you talk to 111 keep it simple. Just relevant details. They don't need the entire elaborate scenario.
Just say 'my child fell in their bedroom'
And when they ask you if you saw it you say 'no i had left the room'
Going into a long winded account is confusing and I think you have alarmed them as it will be like Chinese whispers. The information has been relayed that your child fell out of a window whilst they were left unattended.
Next time just keep it short and simple so that information doesn't get misinterpreted.

@Thisshirtisonfire they might have out in a referral and you just don't know.

I have an irrepressible climber myself (he came by it honestly - I was the same and my father delights in hearing about my getting to experience the parenting side of it) and I'm not a particularly anxious parent so I'm laughing somewhat at the reactions to children climbing less than a meter up in their on room on something that can't tip over or being in their gated bedroom with an adult a wall away. Nothing sounds alarming in your story.

But I do think you're being overly defensive about the referral. Toddler head injuries are something clinicians will often refer to social services fairly routinely, particularly if the explanation of how it happened has any gaps. The referral wasn't because the clinician thinks you're an unfit parent or that your DC weren't being appropriately supervised or cared for, it was because this clinician isn't in a position to evaluate any of that... it's social services' job to ask those questions about window locks and how long they were alone, not the 111 clinician's.

You're right that social services doesn't need to spend any unnecessary time on this, so try to set aside your upset and defensiveness and just help them confirm that you're one of the many wonderful, competent parents whose children have minor childhood accidents.

I’m live in the U.K. and was told it is standard to get follow up contact if child has a head injury. If it was an unavoidable accident then you have nothing to worry about.

Ive never understood the attitude of: ‘I won’t contact emergency services in the future about my children’s health if they will refer me/ask me uncomfortable questions.’ Just be glad that people are looking out for the children in our community.

This. People seem to generally be completely misunderstanding safeguarding and rather than apply common sense are "reporting" to arse cover. A complete waste of very limited social services resources and unnecessary stress for parents.

Jesus Christ. She doesn't need a parenting course because she has adventurous children. Some people don't want to parent away all risk and that's perfectly acceptable. People are far too risk averse and that is far from being good for children either but it's easier to criticise this type of incident than a lifetime of wrapping a child in cotton wool that leads to a child with mental health issues, low self-esteem or no confidence, lacking in life skills. Harder to see the latter so we ignore that, pretend it's not happening, and just focus in on "safety first" to the detriment of children's development.

child potentially knocking their head issue was your primary concern. as such you saught assistance/advice. the lost in translation jumping\falling indoors or outdooors froom a windowledge IS a safeguard issue.windows are glass. if hit hard enough they break. fall backwards forwards whatever. YOU know the layout and likelyhood.minimum info on short tel call =better safe than sorry.
Nobody likes to be under scrutiny or oblivious of potential hazard. In the grand scheme of things-a follow up\more detail can eliminte issues-with not so fortunate endings.

Regrettably I think the people on these telephone lines now have such low levels of critical thinking and there is so much reliance of tick box forms /algorithms that the world has gone utterly bonkers.

A fully qualified doctor allowed Victoria Climbie to wolf three bowls of cereal in their department, she poor child was so hungry but duh nobody noticed and the same Dr paid scant attention to the scabs on and around her mouth because it might have been scabies and she was reluctant to touch her

The system is now completely and utterly bonkers. Let's not use any common sense in the hospital but let's misinterpret a clear cautionary referral due to slackness.

Utter boileaux. It's what happens when questions and comprehension are dumbed down. Computah sez innit!

What did the two year old say about what happened? Surely she can speak to you?

It's cases like Victoria which has made the process as it is now.

There needs to be a system where the reporter doesn't need critical thinking. The OP told 111 the child fell when playing, 111 can't 100% be sure of that and also do not know if the child has had other unwitnessed accidents. They also may have moved local authorities to evade multiple reports.

The OP almost certainly isn't an abuser and this is a one off accident and will be treated by SS as such. If there are a further 10 injuries in the next 3 months and a report of neglect from school then SS would know they need intervention.

People jump to complain that professionals let children who are seriously abused down and then in the next breath say that they over react if a nice middle class family gets one lone report for an accident. They can't build a picture of abuse for the children who need the help unless there is a very low bar for reporting safeguarding concerns. Better to capture more and disregard safe families than miss stuff.

Respectfully, cases like Vicoria Climbie shoukd have resulted in competencey standards in our hospitals (and in the community) being addressed. It would be preferential to the parent bashing that semi literate individuals are now engaging in. And yes l, was once on the end of it. I had a conversation with a social worker whose grasp of English was so poor I genuinely could not understand a word they said and , to boot, they were unspeakably rude and could not explain to me why they were calling me.

What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander imo. Sadly most hcps now do not wear recognisable uniforms.

You need to be careful with toddlers and preschool children jumping off things. They don't have the muscle tone and often the technique to protect immature joints. You often see them landing with straight legs. They are top heavy because of theor relatively large heads.
Britosh Gymnastics recommend preschoolers jumping off anything higher than their own hip without adult suppprt.

If you went into as much extraneous detail with the doctor while inadequately covering key points about supervision, appropriate environment and delay in seeking medical care, I can understand why the referral happened.