Did you have a preference on the sex of your baby?

[tearosetulip]

Just curious really, before children I wanted all girls if I could have chose but I now have a daughter and a son and I can’t believe I had a preference for girls only! It seems a lot of my friends have a preference for daughters too. Did you have a preference before you had your children?

Yes- I wanted 2 girls and have 2 girls. But I would have loved a
son if I’d had one and be raving about the joy of boys.
i wanted sisters because I’m a sister, my mum was 1 of 3 sisters, my dad had a sister, I went to a girls school-
so likely that played into it.

I knew I'd only have 1 and really wanted a boy, which I got

Only for my second. My eldest (then 3) couldn't have been more "girly" if she tried. Toys, clothes, dolls etc all girly. I couldn't imagine bringing a boy into this mix. Even though they too may be into dolls and pink, I just imagined the dynamic would change.

Second child WAS a girl, I can remember being so relieved. But, 13 years on and they're nothing alike and can scrap like I did with my brother. They are however incredibly close, and I do think that even though they're very different in personalities, they will stay close as they get older.

If I could have chosen I’d definitely have opted for a boy.

Absoutley, I think a lot is down to personality rather than gender anyway.
My daughter is so like me, we have the same interests, always chatting etc
My son is different, I need to make more of an effort to understand him and his interests etc but I learn a lot from this
I know this is not necessarily because of their gender though and could have been the other way round or not like this at all.
I love them both equally and so grateful for both of them.

I have four boys and can attest that it is definitely down to personality @AnxiousRose I'm close to all my son's but there is one that I need to make more of an effort with. He is very self contained and more introverted then the rest which obviously would still be the case if he was a girl!

My mum was very abusive and i worked out roughly how NOT to parent based on my own experiences, but not how TO parent. I didn’t feel I could confidently extrapolate these lessons to a boy because that was a whole other ball park. I did have brothers but they were neglected so that was no help 🤣
In the end I over shot with my daughter and ended up being a little bit overprotective but nothing that can’t be fixed.
Its lovely to hear you have a good relationship with your boys, I sometimes wonder if its possible to come down to earth and have all these different experiences except not play on hard mode.

Yes. Always said I wanted a boy even as a kid/teen. Had a girl (and "felt" she was a girl as soon as the test turned positive) . I love her to bits and very happy with how things turned out. Dunno wtf I was thinking and why I wanted a boy so much.

Yes, I did. Every time I got the opposite of what I 'wanted' - but after they came along I loved them so much and couldn't believe I ever thought it mattered 😂

Yes I only wanted girls and I always knew I would have 2 girls, and I did. For some reason in my head I never thought for a second one would be a boy even though both pregnancies were very different.

First pregnancy, no preference at all.

Second pregnancy, I did very fleetingly hope for a (second) girl. But when I really thought about it, there was no basis for it at all. It would make no difference.

Yes. Wanted and had 2 daughters.

I'm sure I'd have been delighted if I'd had a girl, of course I would, but my preference was to have at least one boy. I wasn't actually bothered about having a girl at all, but I really did want a son. I ended up with three boys, and I'm very happy with that.

it’s funny as I always wanted boys- I have 3 girls and now if I were to have another I’d want it to be a girl.

I don’t think anyone is ever disappointed once they are here and they look into them lovely eyes- my life is so full with my beautiful girls. But I’m sure I’d be equally happy with boys or a mix had that been my fate :)

First I wanted a boy and got a girl
Second I wanted a boy and got a boy
Third I wanted a girl and got a boy

Lovely surprises 🥰 but did struggle with No. 3’s name

That's lovely, you and your daughters sound like you have a very close relationship. If it makes you feel any better, I'm a bit over protective too. It is something I'm working on.

I think despite dm, and I being such different people that fear of repeating any part of that relationship, how ever small played on my mind. I think I was just scared of becoming a parent full stop! Now I have my dcs, I know the sex doesn't matter in the slightest. I think you either don't break the chain, or you make sure you do everything to ensure your dcs get what you never did. Thank goodness you, and I have done the latter.

I have 2 sisters, we were really close all the way to our early 20s then we had some horrible fights which our relationship hasn’t really recovered from. I have an ok relationship with one and speak once a week or so, the other I haven’t seen in months and not currently speaking. It’s been a shock and surprise to me as I thought we would stay close forever. My mum has 3 sisters and same thing, also sadly been the case for my best friend and her sister. I think once you reach adulthood the jealousy/competition ramps up?

So it doesn’t always work out 😢

I have both sexes and they’re all identical in personality so get on like a house on fire.

I really wanted a boy and felt disappointed when I found out I was carrying a girl. I was a tomboy myself and I had a lot of sexist ideas about what a girl would be like. She's a total tearaway who loves pink and fire trucks and I can't imagine having a boy now.

I had a slight preference for a girl as I had two nieces and they were (and still are) fab. When I found out I was having a boy, my mindset changed in an instant. I was so happy to be having a boy. I then really wanted another boy with my second pregnancy and that's what I got. But I know I would have been delighted with a girl.

I didn't as I've always thought we should be grateful for healthy children. But I knew my husband (deep down) would have loved a son one day if we had more, although he simultaneously feels very blessed with girls.

Soon, we'll have two DDs and I'm so excited given how close me and my sister are. Sadly, our DD2 has a birth defect which means I now feel so sad and even resentful/bitter when I read or hear about sex disappointment despite having a perfectly healthy baby - and sex selection! I do try to put myself in their shoes and imagine that when told their baby is totally fine it's easy to forget about the experiences of others who aren't told the same.

People with this as a genuine concern need to get a grip and gain some perspective. Sorry if that lacks empathy but that view is also incredibly insensitive to those of us who have genuinely disappointing and sometimes even devastating news at scans.

I'd hoped for 3 kids first of all, then hoped for one of each, then had 2 boys.

Could not be happier with my boys - my slight preference for a girl when I was pregnant with baby #2 disappeared the second I held my beautiful boy in my arms. He was here, a life I helped create and grow and he was exactly the child I was meant to be a mum to.

It's weird because I always thought I had a preference but turns out whenever I found out the sex I was overjoyed regardless! For example my first pregnancy I thought I had a slight preference for a girl but then when I found out he was a boy I cried with happiness! Then my second pregnant I thought it would be lovely to have another boy as my first is amazing, and then found out it was a girl and again cried with happiness 😂

I personally think it's fine to have a slight instinctive preference as long as you know inside that it really doesn't matter and you will love them the same regardless. I got to 36 thinking that children wasn't on the cards for me so I was always going to be over the moon with any healthy and happy baby regardless of anything else!

Originally thought a boy would be easier for dh to adjust to

now we have one of each, I have no preference

Not with dc1 (was just relieved to be finally pregnant). When I got pregnant with dt felt from a bedroom/cost perspective it would be easier to have the same sex but again felt so lucky to be having them after 6 failed ivf rounds it didn'treallymatter. I had one of each (and wouldn't change it).

When I was pregnant the first time, I was so thrilled and it had taken so long that I was just so pleased. I didn't care at all. I had a boy and could not have been happier.

The second time, I kind of wanted a boy, primarily because my son wanted a brother really. Plus, for several reasons, my sonwas not called the boy's name I had in my head for years. Also, I loved my son so much and his all wee clothes so much, I wanted to get them all back out again. I was thinking of that name until I found out I was having a girl. I was really excited about her though.

I have never been really set on having either and have never experienced any disappointment, thank goodness.