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Original poster

Splitting bills with kids that aren’t mine

62 replies

Clueless96 · 17/02/2025 17:14

I feel terrible even asking but I can’t help but struggle with this topic. So I live with my partner and their 2 children. We earn the same amount from jobs but they get extra from government and also child maintenance, I pay exactly half of everything, rent, bills and also the food shop. Is this fair?

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OtherCoraline · 18/02/2025 19:36

@Princessconsuelabananahammock9 no, EXH doesn't pay any maintenance and CM said he doesn't need to. DH suggested it, I did work prior but he wants our DC to have me home whilst they're little.

Spirallingdownwards · 18/02/2025 19:38

Another thing people are forgetting is did you have to rent/buy a house with more bedrooms than you would have otherwise. Because if renting then perhaps there should be a different division of rent reflecting the rent you would have otherwise be paying.

Zebedee999 · 18/02/2025 19:46

You are paying more than your fair share. See who is getting what (including benefits) and agree a more equitable split.

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DontBeADick11 · 18/02/2025 20:13

Redfred00 · 17/02/2025 18:08

I don't know. I think she would have lost money by you moving in. Things like the 25% single person discount on council tax. She would also lose benefits because your income will be counted as her household income for benefits calculation. Presumably, as an adult you eat more that children. I think 50:50 is fine as long as she's paying for the kids expenses like clothes , clubs, activities. If you want it to be 100% fair then I think 1/3 rent and utilities is fair but I'd expect you to give her every penny she lost by you moving in in addition to that. Plus 50:50 on food. Do you cook, clean, do all your own household stuff because if your counting your pennies they might want to rethink on how use their time. After all time os money.

This!!!

StMarie4me · 18/02/2025 20:54

notatinydancer · 17/02/2025 17:18

No I wouldn't be happy contributing to someone else's children.

Your life partner's children?

Good grief.

Ruth58d · 18/02/2025 21:21

So many on this thread are saying that children make negligible difference to the expense of the home yet on the child maintenance boards they have you believe children cost hundreds and hundreds 😅

Newbie8918 · 18/02/2025 22:12

Ruth58d · 18/02/2025 21:21

So many on this thread are saying that children make negligible difference to the expense of the home yet on the child maintenance boards they have you believe children cost hundreds and hundreds 😅

I think people were suggesting if 'bills' were things like rent, council tax, services, car payment, tv licence, insurances, the cost isn't too different than that of two adults.

People have asked over and over if their partner pays for school dinners/fess, clothing, after school activities etc but no response.

So in reality it depends what they're classing as bills.

Savemefromwetdog · 18/02/2025 22:13

No, they should be paying for their children.

MrsRaspberry · 18/02/2025 22:17

Did you not have the conversation about what portions of bills each of you pay before you decided to live together?and from what I read from the post it sounds like your partner hasn't declared you moving in if you see the money from the government as only theirs rather than a joint source of income..the child maintenance I get as that's from the children's other parent but something like UC I'd guess if you live as a couple you'd claim as a couple

Minnie798 · 18/02/2025 22:20

No I wouldn’t do this but then I wouldn’t have a relationship with someone who had dependant children either.

KmcK87 · 21/02/2025 09:00

You’re entitled to feel how you feel of course but I’m glad my partner viewed us as part of his family and is happy to provide for us all (large blended family of my kids, his kids and our child together). I don’t feel like relationships that split hairs about providing for the household last imo

KmcK87 · 21/02/2025 09:02

Ruth58d · 18/02/2025 21:21

So many on this thread are saying that children make negligible difference to the expense of the home yet on the child maintenance boards they have you believe children cost hundreds and hundreds 😅

Of course they make a difference, 2 adults wouldn’t be needing a 2/3 bedroom house and utilities and food would certainly be less

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