Be honest…

[Alohamora7]

I feel like sometimes when I ask the nursery mums it’s always a competition and nobody ever gives a straight answer so of course I think I’m a terrible parent for not fixing it….

so… if you have a 4 year old do they actually sleep in their own bed all night every night (except illnesses etc) because has for about 5 nights their whole life and I am exhausted! Constantly coming in to my bed and then I can’t sleep because they’re kicking and climbing all over me.

I know I have to be persistent to fix it myself but just wondered if more people than I think actually have the same problem?

Nope and it's not a problem. We all sleep very soundly when they're in bed with me

Almost every night I end up with both my children in my bed! Age 2 and 5. This is after falling asleep in their own beds! I try soak it up as it won't last forever

We've never coslept. DD at 10 will very occasionally creep in to mine if she's had a bad dream but that's maybe once or twice a year. She didn't sleep through till she was 3 but I found trying to settle her in my bed didn't work either. When she eventually did start sleeping through it was on her own. DS is 7, he prefers his own space and always has done even when poorly he wants a cuddle then his own bed.

Eldest will be four in May. Has never once slept through the night 😂. Always wakes just before midnight and one of us will generally go in with him (small double bed). Youngest (18 months) also sleeps with one of us from first wake-up. We still get plenty of time together as a couple in the evening. I know some people (hi, mum!) think we are mad for not sleep training but I don’t think it would be right for us. They both sleep soundly after that first wake so it’s the easiest way to get everyone the most sleep. And we are a bit soft and love the cuddles.

No, DD is 4.5 and sleeps maybe 2 nights a week by herself in her own bed. The other 5, either she hops in with us at 3am, or I jump in with her. Doesn’t reduce the amount of sleep we get, it’s <5 mins to make the transition then back to sleep for both of us. I quite enjoy it to be honest, the finite number of nights she’s going to want to snuggle in are inexorably ticking away day by day as she grows up, and I’ll look back fondly when it comes to an end.

My 4 year old slept through the night, in his own cot, then bed, from 7 weeks old.

Then, mysteriously at about 3.5 years old decided he would start waking once a night and climbing into bed with us.

It's fine, he goes straight back to sleep once in our bed and we don't mind but I don't know why it suddenly started or when it will end!

Yes, because we have always been very very strict with that. Our bed is a child, laptop, food and animal free zone.

Yes my 4 year old sleeps in his own bed but tbh we've never ever coslept, so never had to do the transition