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I’m not sure my child has a varied enough diet. Please help!

113 replies

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 18:01

Hi everyone. I have had problems weaning my son from the get go. He is now 20 months. He was bottle fed from birth. When I started to introduce solids at 6 months, he wasn’t interested. He seemed to like his food pureed, wouldn’t attempt to put anything in his mouth in his own. He didn’t put anything in his own mouth by himself until he was a year old.
Fast forward to today and this his list of foods he will eat:
Peanut butter on brown toast
Cream crackers
tomato
cucumber
apple
banana
porridge
cheese sandwich (sometimes)
bacon roll
natural yoghurt
peppers
raisins
dates prunes
crisps
biscuits
breadsticks
jam
melon
Obviously he doesn’t have crisps & biscuits everyday!
Won’t eat any puréed food now.
I am desperately worried about his diet, he seems to be so behind other children his age.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Hiddenhouse · 05/02/2025 18:02

OP what I will share with you is what was told to me - you’re doing a great job, all things pass and your toddler will eat more foods and less foods as they grow up. Continue to offer as much variety as possible and trust yourself. You’ve got this

SoftPlaySaturdays · 05/02/2025 18:04

Sounds like he gets something from every food group, and some different coloured fruits and veg - I wouldn't worry.

Keep offering and he'll be fine.

I might work on fish or chicken, but that would be for my own convenience really!

harrietm87 · 05/02/2025 18:07

Looks like he’s got a good list there. Do you make him separate meals?

With my kids we just made all our usual stuff in a kid friendly way (so no salt and lower spice) and gave them exactly what we had, letting them serve themselves as much as possible and not making a big deal of what they ate and didn’t eat. At that age mainly they want to join in and copy you and feel independent so all of that can help.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

ImDoneOnceAndForAll · 05/02/2025 18:08

Thats a good list of all the food groups

I wouldnt be to worried

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 18:12

@harrietm87 He won’t eat what we are eating although we offer him the same as us everyday.
We try to all eat together, always eat at the table. Tonight’s tea was homemade soup & sandwiches. He wouldn’t eat what me & dad were having, he has only ate a banana (from the fruit bowl that he pointed too and asked for after not eating anything while we ate).

OP posts:
Overthebow · 05/02/2025 18:17

The food list doesn’t look too bad for diet but is he eating any actual meals? I’d cut right down on the snacks and serve him a proper meal every meal.

harrietm87 · 05/02/2025 18:33

@PancakePatty did you have bread with your soup? You said he likes toast so in that case I’d probs offer him some of that, ask if he’d like to try dipping it in, have a bowl on the table with some cherry tomatoes and cucumber that he can help himself to. And then offer him some fruit or yoghurt for dessert regardless of what he’s eaten. And just repeat repeat!

Cormoran · 05/02/2025 18:36

Where is the meat? Beef, chicken? No, a bacon roll doesn't count.
Where is the seafood? Fish, shellfish ?
Where are the cereals? The pasta, rice? Industrial baked goods such as brown toast ,and the various crackers do not count. Is porridge home made or sachet?
3 vegetables? Where are the leafy greens? Spinach, broccoli, carrots pumpkin, cauliflower....

This is not about variety , it is about diet quality, a diet that promotes a heathy brain development and a healthy body.
It is prevalently sweet, especially with the dry fruit, raisin, dates, prunes, biscuits, breadstick, jam....

Diet is about giving nutrients. As you realised, since you made this post, this a poor diet. Remove all the crisps, biscuit, breadstick, crackers to start with. Those might come back later as an occasional treat, but as long as they are there, you will never be able to make changes.

Try a homemade or butcher bought schnitzel, meatballs in sauce, prepare and offer a variety of vegetables, cooked and raw, not just a sliced cucumber.
Put out of sight, the fruit bowl. Cut down on food two hours before meals. Even fruit or milk.
Make soups that are sweet tasting at first, such as pumpkin-carrot-onion, make a broth, and cook baby egg pasta in it, and serve it with some real parmesan and a tiny 1 cm cube of butter.
A sole cooked in butter, with a sprinkle of chopped parsley and a tiny bit of salt is irresistible.

Of course, there will be resistance, but involve him in the cooking process.

InTheRainOnATrain · 05/02/2025 18:45

That’s a good variety of tastes and textures. You have plenty of fruit and a few protein options. Really it’s not terrible!! At that DD would pretty much only eat- peanut butter jelly sandwiches, avocado toast, berries, strawberry or raspberry yoghurt, deep fried cheese curds (a Wisconsin specialty for those not familiar), apple sauce pouches, sweet potato fries and grilled cheese sandwiches. Classic American kid beige plus the avocado. No meat, no fish, no vegetables. But she grew out of it. She’s 7 now and just asked to go for sushi this weekend. Remember fussy kids are everywhere but it’s pretty rare to meet a really fussy adult.

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 18:48

Thanks to everyone who has replied so far, I will come back and update the thread after bedtime is done 👍🏻

OP posts:
babasaclover · 05/02/2025 18:50

Does he have a problem with textures? Could be ARFID?

Equally it could be nothing and he could just develop as he gets older. Is he on track with growth?

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 20:29

Hiddenhouse · 05/02/2025 18:02

OP what I will share with you is what was told to me - you’re doing a great job, all things pass and your toddler will eat more foods and less foods as they grow up. Continue to offer as much variety as possible and trust yourself. You’ve got this

Thank you for posting, I needed to hear this.

OP posts:
PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 20:31

SoftPlaySaturdays · 05/02/2025 18:04

Sounds like he gets something from every food group, and some different coloured fruits and veg - I wouldn't worry.

Keep offering and he'll be fine.

I might work on fish or chicken, but that would be for my own convenience really!

We don’t eat a lot of fish but have offered it to him every time we have it. Gets thrown on the floor.
Chicken we have in casserole, curry (mild) or roast chicken. All made from scratch, no shop bought sauces. He hasn’t put any of it in his mouth. We eat chicken maybe once a week.

OP posts:
PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 20:35

harrietm87 · 05/02/2025 18:07

Looks like he’s got a good list there. Do you make him separate meals?

With my kids we just made all our usual stuff in a kid friendly way (so no salt and lower spice) and gave them exactly what we had, letting them serve themselves as much as possible and not making a big deal of what they ate and didn’t eat. At that age mainly they want to join in and copy you and feel independent so all of that can help.

When he won’t eat what we are having, I would usually make him toast or a sandwich. I obviously don’t want him to starve but perhaps I am doing the wrong thing by making him something I know he eats if he hasn’t eaten what I have given him?
He has yoghurt every night for pudding regardless of what he has had to eat that day. Yoghurt is his favourite thing and never, ever gets refused 😅

OP posts:
PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 20:36

ImDoneOnceAndForAll · 05/02/2025 18:08

Thats a good list of all the food groups

I wouldnt be to worried

Thank you for posting. Maybe he just needs more time to get used to different foods.

OP posts:
PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 20:38

Overthebow · 05/02/2025 18:17

The food list doesn’t look too bad for diet but is he eating any actual meals? I’d cut right down on the snacks and serve him a proper meal every meal.

No I wouldn’t say he is eating any proper meals. Nothing hot (or warm) apart from porridge. He gets offered a proper meal every night but doesn’t even attempt to put any of it in his mouth.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 05/02/2025 20:43

Surely the problem is that every time he sits down for a family meal, you make him something else?

Dinner is: roast chicken, broccoli, New potatoes, Carrots. He turns up his nose or throws it on the floor so you make him toast or a sandwich. That's the issue. If he doesn't want the meal served, he waits until the next meal. Obviously he gets a little something before bed such as some fruit and milk. Similarly if he ignores breakfast he might get a biscuit with his milk mid morning.

Overthebow · 05/02/2025 20:44

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 20:38

No I wouldn’t say he is eating any proper meals. Nothing hot (or warm) apart from porridge. He gets offered a proper meal every night but doesn’t even attempt to put any of it in his mouth.

What do you do when you serve it to him and he doesn’t eat it? Offer him snack foods instead or leave him to either eat it or not? What we did for our fussy eater was serve dinners family style, all food in the middle of the table and people serve themselves and you serve toddler. Make sure there’s some food out which you know they’ll like. Serve a little bit of everything, just a small portion, including the food you know they’ll eat. Don’t give attention to the plate, just serve and then talk as normal as a family. At the end of the meal, take away the plate and serve a small pudding. Don’t offer an alternative or extra pudding.

InWithThePlums · 05/02/2025 20:47

More varied than my diet probably 😬

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 20:57

Cormoran · 05/02/2025 18:36

Where is the meat? Beef, chicken? No, a bacon roll doesn't count.
Where is the seafood? Fish, shellfish ?
Where are the cereals? The pasta, rice? Industrial baked goods such as brown toast ,and the various crackers do not count. Is porridge home made or sachet?
3 vegetables? Where are the leafy greens? Spinach, broccoli, carrots pumpkin, cauliflower....

This is not about variety , it is about diet quality, a diet that promotes a heathy brain development and a healthy body.
It is prevalently sweet, especially with the dry fruit, raisin, dates, prunes, biscuits, breadstick, jam....

Diet is about giving nutrients. As you realised, since you made this post, this a poor diet. Remove all the crisps, biscuit, breadstick, crackers to start with. Those might come back later as an occasional treat, but as long as they are there, you will never be able to make changes.

Try a homemade or butcher bought schnitzel, meatballs in sauce, prepare and offer a variety of vegetables, cooked and raw, not just a sliced cucumber.
Put out of sight, the fruit bowl. Cut down on food two hours before meals. Even fruit or milk.
Make soups that are sweet tasting at first, such as pumpkin-carrot-onion, make a broth, and cook baby egg pasta in it, and serve it with some real parmesan and a tiny 1 cm cube of butter.
A sole cooked in butter, with a sprinkle of chopped parsley and a tiny bit of salt is irresistible.

Of course, there will be resistance, but involve him in the cooking process.

The meat that we eat, beef, lamb & chicken does not go in his mouth, he has never attempted to put it in his mouth. We eat meat daily. He gets offered it every single day. He asked for a bite of a bacon roll one day so we gave him it and he has enjoyed bacon rolls in the odd occasion that we have one.

We have fish rarely, maybe once every 3 weeks, he has never put fish in his mouth.

Pasta & rice are eaten every week in our house, again offered every week, won’t put it in his mouth. I’m not sure I would class the bread we eat as industrial, it is from a local bakers with very few ingredients compared to supermarket bread. No preservatives in it so it is stale after 24 hours. I buy in bulk & freeze it and defrost what we need for that day.

Crackers are not something he gets regularly, on the list because it is something he has picked up by himself put in his mouth & ate it.
Yes those are the only vegetables he has eaten despite being offered other veg every day.

I am very much aware what a healthy diet is as we eat one. I make everything from scratch, no shop bought sauces etc. we don’t even have ketchup in our house. We eat our own beef & lamb, eggs from our chickens.
Porridge is from a bag of locally grown rolled oats.
I don’t have biscuits or crackers in our house but I won’t tell my mum or mil that they can’t give him a treat when he is in their care. They are obviously worried about him too.

He doesn’t eat or drink within 2 hours of meals.

You haven’t met my son, I can assure you fish cooked in butter with a bit of parsley is not “irresistible” to my son. If it was as simple as tasty food we would be ok.

OP posts:
PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:00

InTheRainOnATrain · 05/02/2025 18:45

That’s a good variety of tastes and textures. You have plenty of fruit and a few protein options. Really it’s not terrible!! At that DD would pretty much only eat- peanut butter jelly sandwiches, avocado toast, berries, strawberry or raspberry yoghurt, deep fried cheese curds (a Wisconsin specialty for those not familiar), apple sauce pouches, sweet potato fries and grilled cheese sandwiches. Classic American kid beige plus the avocado. No meat, no fish, no vegetables. But she grew out of it. She’s 7 now and just asked to go for sushi this weekend. Remember fussy kids are everywhere but it’s pretty rare to meet a really fussy adult.

Ooh deep fried cheese curds sound nice, intriguing, I’m off to google.
I hope your daughter enjoys her sushi. It is true you rarely see a fussy adult. I will just keep telling myself that. Thank you for posting.

OP posts:
PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:03

babasaclover · 05/02/2025 18:50

Does he have a problem with textures? Could be ARFID?

Equally it could be nothing and he could just develop as he gets older. Is he on track with growth?

Hmm, I’m not sure, he likes crunchy things, toast. Soft things, bananas, yoghurt. He likes hot things, porridge.
Not sure but maybe something to think about I will google & do some research as I don’t actually know anything about ARFID.
Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

OP posts:
PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:11

RosesAndHellebores · 05/02/2025 20:43

Surely the problem is that every time he sits down for a family meal, you make him something else?

Dinner is: roast chicken, broccoli, New potatoes, Carrots. He turns up his nose or throws it on the floor so you make him toast or a sandwich. That's the issue. If he doesn't want the meal served, he waits until the next meal. Obviously he gets a little something before bed such as some fruit and milk. Similarly if he ignores breakfast he might get a biscuit with his milk mid morning.

He always eats his breakfast of porridge. Has milk mid morning with cheese or banana. Sometimes turns his nose up at the food and just has the milk.
Lunch is usually not an issue, he will eat toast or sandwich.
Dinner is where I get worried. He doesn’t attempt to put anything in his mouth from the family meal I have cooked. He doesn’t get a snack in the afternoon between lunch & dinner. He should be hungry by teatime, we spend a lot of time outdoors.
He gets yoghurt & fruit or sometimes just 1 or the other for his pudding regardless of what he has eaten for his tea.
He has just milk before bedtime.

Would you suggest no pudding if he doesn’t eat his dinner then just milk before bed? I worry he would go to bed hungry?

OP posts:
Laalaalala · 05/02/2025 21:11

My son is 2.

was/is a fussy eater. We went the traditional route of pureed and worked up then added in BLW.

the best thing for my son was at nursery watching other kids eat. Apparently he eats everything there and things he definitely doesn’t eat at home. Also to add as we work late he typically eats his evening meal approx 4pm as lunch is 11.30/12. So in the last few months especially he is very interested in what’s on my plate, even if I put the exact same thing on his bowl he wants it from mine if he sees me eating it. Also goes through stages loving and eating things then stops eg yoghurts - hates them this week loved them last week.

I have tried to stop worrying and not put pressure on it, I was worrying a lot before but I am just ensuring he is trying a variety of things!

RosesAndHellebores · 05/02/2025 21:16

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:11

He always eats his breakfast of porridge. Has milk mid morning with cheese or banana. Sometimes turns his nose up at the food and just has the milk.
Lunch is usually not an issue, he will eat toast or sandwich.
Dinner is where I get worried. He doesn’t attempt to put anything in his mouth from the family meal I have cooked. He doesn’t get a snack in the afternoon between lunch & dinner. He should be hungry by teatime, we spend a lot of time outdoors.
He gets yoghurt & fruit or sometimes just 1 or the other for his pudding regardless of what he has eaten for his tea.
He has just milk before bedtime.

Would you suggest no pudding if he doesn’t eat his dinner then just milk before bed? I worry he would go to bed hungry?

Absolutely no pudding if he doesn't eat his dinner. There is your problem and I think you should stop making a rod for your own back.

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