Page 4 | I’m not sure my child has a varied enough diet. Please help!

PancakePatty · 2025-02-05T18:01:35+00:00

Hi everyone. I have had problems weaning my son from the get go. He is now 20 months. He was bottle fed from birth. When I started to introduce solids at 6 months, he wasn’t interested. He seemed to like his food pureed, wouldn’t attempt to put anything in his mouth in his own. He didn’t put anything in his own mouth by himself until he was a year old. Fast forward to today and this his list of foods he will eat: Peanut butter on brown toast Cream crackers tomato cucumber apple banana porridge cheese sandwich (sometimes) bacon roll natural yoghurt peppers raisins dates prunes crisps biscuits breadsticks jam melon Obviously he doesn’t have crisps & biscuits everyday! Won’t eat any puréed food now. I am desperately worried about his diet, he seems to be so behind other children his age. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you.

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Shrinkingrose · 06/02/2025 12:31

Personally if there is things you know he eats..bacon, cheesy mash, peppers, cucumber etc I would put these things on the plate and a little bit of other foods to introduce them, not curry or stew, but a little lean meat or egg.

id also stop just letting him not eat it then giving him the stuff he likes like peanut butter on toast and then yoghurt. He knows if he doesn’t eat dinner he gets that. So his little brain just tells him he doesn’t need to eat what you’re eating, it’s just irrelevant, as his real dinner is coming later.

if he wakes in the night hungry, a little milk. Just break the habit/

Original poster

PancakePatty · 06/02/2025 12:34

unmemorableusername · 06/02/2025 09:56

I'm confused.

You say he doesnt eat the food that's put in front of him. But do you actually feed him it?

Are you placing a plate in front of him & expecting him to eat it independently??

At this age (& often for years later) you need to put a scoop of food on a plastic spoon & put it in his mouth. Are you doing this?

Most DCs will swallow bland food that's actually put in their mouth eg mashed potato, turnip, carrot parsnip. Then you can add small pieces of fish/chicken/red meat to these spoonfuls.

Or blended soups, have you tried those?

He can't be expected to feed himself. That's too much of a demand on him. He may have a dexterity issue. Or finds the choice of items on the plate or 'mixing' overwhelming.

If he's throwing food off the plate don't put the plate in front of him. Keep it with you/do and one of you sit with him putting the food in his mouth.

What exactly are you confused about? I have tried to be really clear & give honest answers to all questions that have been asked.

Of course I am very much aware I need to feed my child. Of course he gets spoon fed. He is becoming more independent and likes to hold the spoon himself, he does very well with his porridge & yoghurt.
My son had puréed food when he was younger obviously fed to him with a spoon by myself.

Most children is not my son. I am aware his eating habits are not like most children. He will not allow any mashed (or not mashed) vegetables to enter his mouth either by his own hand or me spoon feeding him.

Yes I have tried blended soups, constantly on loop.

I am not expecting him to feed himself, sometimes he wants & accepts mummy’s help, sometimes he doesn’t.

Have you had a child with an eating issue?

I am obviously trying to keep mealtimes bright & breezy, no pressure because I obviously don’t want to make this situation worse.

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 06/02/2025 12:37

givemushypeasachance · 06/02/2025 10:38

Does he like playing with food? If you were to do a teddy bear's picnic kind of affair with some of his toys, and some pretend food, he can go around and offer bites of food to the toys and to you and you all pretend to eat it and go mmm delicious, he pretends as well, you say you're still hungry, introduce some small bits of real food and offer it to the toys, they go mmm, it's offered to you and you take a bite, see if he joins in? In an unobtrusive way, not making a bit deal of it, it's just part of the game.

Or playing with food to explore textures - using dry cereal to feel and hopefully crunch, and then sloppy stuff like custard or jelly. Making some fun pictures out of food, the classic funny face lunch plate! Ooh don't eat his eyes, ooh you crunched his nose, etc. My favourite fun with food thing as a kid was a mashed potato and baked bean volcano.

And my friend's kid when he was 3 or 4 loved to steal food from other people's plates, we had to pretend not to notice then make a big fuss of oh no where has my bit of sausage gone, help, thief, etc. Or "food ghosts" would come and steal the food from his plate. He found sitting at a table and eating very boring, kids are all about playing and making things a game was one way to keep his interest. That or distracting him (sadly with a tablet but needs must sometimes) and then posting in a few spoonfuls of spaghetti bolognaise.

He doesn’t really like playing with food, it is encouraged but he would rather be down on the floor playing with toy cars. Toy cars are life at the moment!
I will keep trying this though and the “food thief” is interesting, maybe I need to be more creative.
Thank you

OP posts:

Superscientist · 06/02/2025 12:50

My daughter has been a right pain with food. She has a limited a diet, at it's most extreme she had 20 food allergies, foods excluded due to triggering reflux, foods that made her toddler diarrhoea worse and foods that caused issues with her teeth. Then there were the foods she was willing to eat!
For along time she lived off plain pasta, olive oil, peas and sauerkraut! She ate better at nursery. She's now in school and has switched she eats better at home but lives off ham sandwiches at school.
We used to offer a food twice before ditching it. This would be the first offering of she didn't want what we were eating. We got quick cook pasta as a back up. If she didn't want that the only thing on offer was water biscuits.
It was only at 20 months she ate enough to reduce formula but she would still have weekends where she would only eat 1 meal over the 2 days and no snacks. No idea how she kept gaining weight!

We have had success in getting her to eat by including snacks on her meal plate so she has cucumber and carrots sticks alongside a bowl of pasta. We hold back pasta without sauce as she often refuses the sauce. She eats better if she's included in making the meal and likes sprinkles stuff in top of her dinner like carrot sticks or croutons. Maybe not something for now at 20 months but something to consider over the next 6-12 months.
I think I would try to give more meal like lunches to be honest. Sandwiches are a relatively recent part of her diet. At 2 we were attempting 2 hot meals a day then there were 2 chances of getting some proper food in her. There were times when she was more engaged in lunchtime foods than evening meals. At nursery they did a proper meal for lunch so I don't know if it was replicating that that helped or not.

Original poster

PancakePatty · 06/02/2025 12:52

LolaJ87 · 06/02/2025 11:17

My sons diet is just as restrictive and he is 23 months. I have sought professional advice on this and was reassured to hear that as long as he's getting something from each food group and is a healthy weight, they aren't worried. He didn't meet the criteria to be referred for further supports.

Unlike yourself, he was a dream to wean, was sticking his fists into our curries when he was too early to try food! The first 6-9 months after we introduced food were amazing and he tried lots of things, then the fussiness crept in. He had a couple of stomach bugs that always seems to make things worse afterwards.

I see a lot of people here who haven't dealt with a fussy child giving advice. My son would rather eat nothing than most of the dinners we put in front of him, even if he's very hungry. We did put him to bed without anything sometimes (which felt horrible) but it made no difference, he just ate more at breakfast the next day and then our doctor said not to do it, that it's very outdated advice and to offer a small supper removed from dinner, if dinner is completely rejected. What that means is that you don't jump up and make something else at the dinner table, but maybe just before pyjamas you sit down with a book and some peanut butter on toast.

Sending you support and solidarity, it's not easy.

Edited

Thank you, this is all good advice. Sorry you are going through something similar.
Hopefully your child (and mine) will show some improvement soon.

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 06/02/2025 12:55

SJM1988 · 06/02/2025 12:21

I wouldn't be too worried about what he eats. It seems quite a good list.
I'd say my DD didn't really eat proper meals until the last year (she has just turned 3). Before that it was elements of meals but not full meals.

I found with my eldest that offering something else when he refused the on offer meal prolonged the fussiness. I'd offer three or four alteratives and it become the way he expected meals to be. With my DD I didn't do this and she switched to eating what we were eating alot quicker.

I offer one meal for everyone but I do make allowances for their likes/dislikes e.g. broccili for DS and carrots for DD, or pasta separate for DS rather than mixes if like a pasta bake style dish for DD. But the fundamental elements of the meal are the same.
I do also offer a banana if they eat nothing for dinner....but I know its not their favourite fruit and they will only eat it if they are really hungry.

Thanks.
Made a plan with my husband to offer my son what we are having but also something we know he likes & eats at the same time.
If he doesn’t eat much at teatime tonight, will offer him a banana or some porridge alongside his milk for supper before bed.

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 06/02/2025 12:57

RatedDoingMagic · 06/02/2025 12:29

@PancakePatty that list of things your child will eat is about 3 times as long as the list of things my (at the time) 3yo would eat when we were discharged from the nutritionist consultant because there were "no concerns". Basically as long as the list contains some kind of carb, 2 or 3 kinds of veg/fruit and some protein, any intervention is going to do more harm than good. Please stop worrying, you aren't in competition with anyone with prizes for the child with the most varied diet. Make mealtimes unstressful and do not try to force the child to try anything that isn't known and accepted. Make new foods available regularly but don't push them or comment if they aren't tried. Reward and praise for trying something new even if it is spat out.

Thank you.
Good advice here. I’m sorry you had issues too.

OP posts:

WhatALightbulbMoment · 06/02/2025 14:12

Cormoran · 05/02/2025 18:36

Where is the meat? Beef, chicken? No, a bacon roll doesn't count.
Where is the seafood? Fish, shellfish ?
Where are the cereals? The pasta, rice? Industrial baked goods such as brown toast ,and the various crackers do not count. Is porridge home made or sachet?
3 vegetables? Where are the leafy greens? Spinach, broccoli, carrots pumpkin, cauliflower....

This is not about variety , it is about diet quality, a diet that promotes a heathy brain development and a healthy body.
It is prevalently sweet, especially with the dry fruit, raisin, dates, prunes, biscuits, breadstick, jam....

Diet is about giving nutrients. As you realised, since you made this post, this a poor diet. Remove all the crisps, biscuit, breadstick, crackers to start with. Those might come back later as an occasional treat, but as long as they are there, you will never be able to make changes.

Try a homemade or butcher bought schnitzel, meatballs in sauce, prepare and offer a variety of vegetables, cooked and raw, not just a sliced cucumber.
Put out of sight, the fruit bowl. Cut down on food two hours before meals. Even fruit or milk.
Make soups that are sweet tasting at first, such as pumpkin-carrot-onion, make a broth, and cook baby egg pasta in it, and serve it with some real parmesan and a tiny 1 cm cube of butter.
A sole cooked in butter, with a sprinkle of chopped parsley and a tiny bit of salt is irresistible.

Of course, there will be resistance, but involve him in the cooking process.

You clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Good for you that you've never had a fussy eater!

OP my DS1 was like this. He lived on milk, starch and fruit for the first two years (at least!) of his life. I still remember the first time he ate eggs, I was at work and my DH called me to tell me and we were both so excited!
It's really disheartening cooking for a child who won't even taste things. But you need to persevere, offer a variety of foods, and suddenly, when he's seen and refused eggs or whatever for the hundredth time, he will decide to taste them and love them.
My DS is 10 now and eats really well - he is still the fussiest of the 3 but mealtimes, school lunches and eating out aren't a problem at all. Keep up the good work OP, it sounds like you are doing a great job!

SallyWD · 06/02/2025 14:22

Honestly I think his diet is good. He's eating a good variety of foods. My DS is 12 and doesn't eat so many different fruits (only apples, grapes and dried mango very grudgingly). As your son is so young it's very likely he'll eat a greater variety when he's older. But it's fine. He's getting a good range of nutrients.

Crispynoodle · 06/02/2025 14:35

ANiceCuppaTeaandBiscuit · 06/02/2025 06:03

Check out this page https://www.instagram.com/sr_nutrition?igsh=ZzA3ZmJxNmsweGZ4 She’s got wonderful advice on dealing with fussy eaters. My dd was great at eating til 18 months, then became super fussy, her diet became quite limited and really there were only a couple of dinners she’d reliably eat. Am pleased to tell you she turned a corner at 4 and now eats a very varied diet. Hang in there! I think it’s maybe a control thing.

I love Char I wish she'd been around when mine were babies

Bojanglesmcduff · 06/02/2025 15:07

sole cooked in butter, with a sprinkle of chopped parsley and a tiny bit of salt is irresistible.

this is such a mn response to a child that won’t even eat a bit of chicken 😂😂😂 it made me laugh out loud.

op i wouldnt offer an alternative meal after meal time is over, but I would give a mix of new foods and food he’s happy to eat on the same plate so he’s at least eating with you rather than waiting until the meal is over to see what alternative he can have

ANiceCuppaTeaandBiscuit · 06/02/2025 15:35

Crispynoodle · 06/02/2025 14:35

I love Char I wish she'd been around when mine were babies

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She’s fab isn’t she?! I love that she’s very relatable and it’s not all perfect with her. Just very realistic, helpful, practical advice.

Bergmum · 06/02/2025 20:21

I know you'd like to keep meals at the table, but I often find that I can pop bits of food into my toddlers mouth after she's left the table and is distracted by some toys. Things like chicken/meat/fish or pasta. Mine also prefers her sandwich in a snack pot rather than on a plate for some reason.

Overthestar · 06/02/2025 20:30

Hmm not sure if that's wide enough or not. Here's what my 2 year old daughter eats by comparison:

Peanut butter on brown toast - yes
Cream crackers - no
tomato - no
cucumber - yes
apple - yes
banana - only very occasionally
porridge - only very occasionally
cheese sandwich (sometimes) - no
bacon roll - no
natural yoghurt - yes
peppers - yes
raisins - sometimes
dates prunes - yes
crisps - no
biscuits - yes
breadsticks - yes
jam - no
melon - watermelon, yes

Plus:

tofu
paneer
spinach
pizza
omelets
fried eggs
weetabix
paratha and roti
brioche buns
risotto with mackerel and peas
slow cooked beef ragu with pasta
noodles
chicken quesadillas
burger patties
Popcorn chicken
various fruit (berries, pears, mango)
asparagus
broccoli
corn

She has various foods she won't touch with a bargepole, like baked chicken or salmon.

I think you're doing well for his age, just keep offering a variety of foods and get him eating small bits of what you're eating at the same time, and keep the pressure totally off him to eat. Let him play with the food, let there be plenty of mess, and if he doesn't eat it don't make a big deal out of it. Make sure he has one safe food for each meal too.

hotnotgrot · 06/02/2025 20:42

Hope it went well tonight OP.

My son is quite immune to hunger and is quite fussy - growing out of it, but had food allergy that he has outgrown and so I think that he had a sore tummy for a while and just got into the habit of not consuming that much. He is a bit of a happy starver and would absolutely hold out longer than I would.

I second the idea of giving something he likes alongside what you are having and paying it not too much attention. I used to call it "gateway foods" - once my son had relaxed, got over the hanger he couldn't actually identify for himself and started eating, he would inevitably munch on something else. Now he is older (5), it is easier, as I can tell him that protein helps him grow strong etc and he is very receptive to that and will try something as a token for me, but then will forget himself and keep eating. I never make it a battle or give it too much attention, just give him the facts and then step back and let him decide.

therattlebag23 · 08/02/2025 16:18

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:30

Thank you, what did your child like to eat when they were a toddler?

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Sorry just saw this! Literally just a pile of plain pasta/rice/mash, a pile of broccoli, a pile of carrots, a fish finger or some other protein. Nothing mixed up, everything separate.

Original poster

PancakePatty · 09/02/2025 13:28

Thanks to everyone for replying to my thread, I have had a busy couple of days but thought I would do an update.
Had some good advice & ideas. Had a small breakthrough yesterday lunchtime. Decided to put mine & husbands lunch on child’s plastic plate so we all had the same plates (paw patrol 😃)
Lunch was cheese toasties with homemade sweet potato soup with a big side plate with toast, cherry tomatoes, sliced peppers on.
He was very excited that we all had the same plates. Was eating stuff from all our plates then decided to try his soup. He ate a fair bit of it by himself (a lot went down his bib though).
I will just keep trying, maybe making lunchtime more fun was a factor so I will keep trying to think outside the box.
Dinner last night was chicken stir fry, I gave my son a portion without any sauce on but he didn’t eat any of it. He did have fun putting the noodles etc on to another plate though.

OP posts:

lataraw · 09/02/2025 17:01

Just came across this - another thought is how much milk is he having? I think the max NHS says in a day is 500ml so they don't get too many of their calories from milk. Worth mentioning as I didn't know until recently

lataraw · 09/02/2025 17:02

So eg instead of milk at morning snack do cheese (if there's any cheese he'll eat!)

MoonDustInYourHair · 09/02/2025 17:32

I think you and your little one are smashing it xx

Verlaine · 09/02/2025 17:44

Op but the book War and Peas - it’s a lifesaver and will help remove any issues around emotional eating.

Remember fussy kids are everywhere but it’s pretty rare to meet a really fussy adult.

I think this is rubbish. Fussy adults that live of rubbish, bland and junk food are everywhere.

soupyspoon · 09/02/2025 17:57

Sole with butter and parsley!!!

So funny, really embarrassed for that poster

Hope it continues to go well OP, the interest and variety will come in time

soupyspoon · 09/02/2025 17:58

Verlaine · 09/02/2025 17:44

Op but the book War and Peas - it’s a lifesaver and will help remove any issues around emotional eating.

Remember fussy kids are everywhere but it’s pretty rare to meet a really fussy adult.

I think this is rubbish. Fussy adults that live of rubbish, bland and junk food are everywhere.

My OH is one of these, lives on beige foods, pulls faces at things like a toddler, doesnt like any flavour.

twolittleDC · 09/02/2025 20:18

PancakePatty · 09/02/2025 13:28

Thanks to everyone for replying to my thread, I have had a busy couple of days but thought I would do an update.
Had some good advice & ideas. Had a small breakthrough yesterday lunchtime. Decided to put mine & husbands lunch on child’s plastic plate so we all had the same plates (paw patrol 😃)
Lunch was cheese toasties with homemade sweet potato soup with a big side plate with toast, cherry tomatoes, sliced peppers on.
He was very excited that we all had the same plates. Was eating stuff from all our plates then decided to try his soup. He ate a fair bit of it by himself (a lot went down his bib though).
I will just keep trying, maybe making lunchtime more fun was a factor so I will keep trying to think outside the box.
Dinner last night was chicken stir fry, I gave my son a portion without any sauce on but he didn’t eat any of it. He did have fun putting the noodles etc on to another plate though.

That sounds really positive, pleased you've had some wins!

Laoise542 · 09/02/2025 20:21

I'm absolutely howling at the sole and parsley suggestion!

I think you're doing really well OP, fussy eating can be really difficult. The best advice I ever got was along the lines of "it's our job to provide the food and it's their job to decide what they want to eat". It for me, helped take the pressure off. As long as I knew I was providing the right food (most of the time. We still have lazy food days as well like beans and sausages etc now and again!), then I knew I'd done my best. I really don't believe you can force a child to eat and I always make sure there's something on their plate they like.

I think the only advice I can give apart from the above is to make meal times as less stressful as possible. We always sit together (apart from if me and my husband are getting a takeaway, going out) and eat the same thing. We never draw attention to the food but if our 2 year old doesn't want to eat his meal that's fine, but we ensure he stays seating until we've finished and we still offer yoghurt and fruit afterwards as to me these are part of the meal. I wouldn't make an alternative and we don't give anything else later on but our son does have milk before bed and on days he doesn't have tea he's never woken up hungry. I don't see the harm in maybe offering some toast or banana before bed but I think as long as its not directly instead of what is offered but its not something I've ever felt the need do.

I think it's important to remember your child won't starve by missing a meal!

I’m not sure my child has a varied enough diet. Please help!

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