Page 2 | I’m not sure my child has a varied enough diet. Please help!

PancakePatty · 2025-02-05T18:01:35+00:00

Hi everyone. I have had problems weaning my son from the get go. He is now 20 months. He was bottle fed from birth. When I started to introduce solids at 6 months, he wasn’t interested. He seemed to like his food pureed, wouldn’t attempt to put anything in his mouth in his own. He didn’t put anything in his own mouth by himself until he was a year old. Fast forward to today and this his list of foods he will eat: Peanut butter on brown toast Cream crackers tomato cucumber apple banana porridge cheese sandwich (sometimes) bacon roll natural yoghurt peppers raisins dates prunes crisps biscuits breadsticks jam melon Obviously he doesn’t have crisps & biscuits everyday! Won’t eat any puréed food now. I am desperately worried about his diet, he seems to be so behind other children his age. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you.

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Edwina8320 · 05/02/2025 21:18

Cormoran · 05/02/2025 18:36

Where is the meat? Beef, chicken? No, a bacon roll doesn't count.
Where is the seafood? Fish, shellfish ?
Where are the cereals? The pasta, rice? Industrial baked goods such as brown toast ,and the various crackers do not count. Is porridge home made or sachet?
3 vegetables? Where are the leafy greens? Spinach, broccoli, carrots pumpkin, cauliflower....

This is not about variety , it is about diet quality, a diet that promotes a heathy brain development and a healthy body.
It is prevalently sweet, especially with the dry fruit, raisin, dates, prunes, biscuits, breadstick, jam....

Diet is about giving nutrients. As you realised, since you made this post, this a poor diet. Remove all the crisps, biscuit, breadstick, crackers to start with. Those might come back later as an occasional treat, but as long as they are there, you will never be able to make changes.

Try a homemade or butcher bought schnitzel, meatballs in sauce, prepare and offer a variety of vegetables, cooked and raw, not just a sliced cucumber.
Put out of sight, the fruit bowl. Cut down on food two hours before meals. Even fruit or milk.
Make soups that are sweet tasting at first, such as pumpkin-carrot-onion, make a broth, and cook baby egg pasta in it, and serve it with some real parmesan and a tiny 1 cm cube of butter.
A sole cooked in butter, with a sprinkle of chopped parsley and a tiny bit of salt is irresistible.

Of course, there will be resistance, but involve him in the cooking process.

Seruously, do you not understand that the op is posting because she is worried about how restricted her child's diet is?? She knows he isnt having these foods. Its not because she doesnt care or hasnt tried.
Op, I have an autistic 6 year old whose diet is v similar. The paediatrician referred him twice to an eating clinic but both times he was rejected as he has too many foods and some from each group, which your child also has. I definitely think it is worth speaking to your GP though as at his age there may be some other feeding group you could go to for ideas/support.
Your child has quite a lot of fruit/salad which is good. The advise i was given was to rotate all his foods on a v regular basis so he has all his fruit/couple of veg in a week and doesn't "forget" safe foods. If your child has peanut butter, would they try other nut butters? My child will have three types both on toast and porridge and also a few whole nuts.
I was told to always provide "safe foods" at meals but then put something new alongside it. I bought plates that have seperate sections so my child doesn't have to be worried about things touching. I am generally pretty relaxed as my child is healthy and growing. Over time we have had a few new foods added(though admittedly he has cut others out) and I am just going to continue as I am trying not to get upset/put pressure on him.
It is v hard though and I'm sorry you are going through the same. 💐

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:19

Overthebow · 05/02/2025 20:44

What do you do when you serve it to him and he doesn’t eat it? Offer him snack foods instead or leave him to either eat it or not? What we did for our fussy eater was serve dinners family style, all food in the middle of the table and people serve themselves and you serve toddler. Make sure there’s some food out which you know they’ll like. Serve a little bit of everything, just a small portion, including the food you know they’ll eat. Don’t give attention to the plate, just serve and then talk as normal as a family. At the end of the meal, take away the plate and serve a small pudding. Don’t offer an alternative or extra pudding.

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I leave the food on his plate (if there is any left on the plate, a lot goes on the floor) until we have finished eating. If he hasn’t eaten anything I will make him toast or a sandwich.

It is hard to make a meal for all of us with food I know my son will eat because there isn’t a lot he will eat if you see what I mean?
Tonight was a quick tea as we were outside working late & I didn’t have anything prepared but our usual meals would be mild curry, chicken or beef casserole, roast meat, potatoes & veg that sort of thing. A healthy portion of veg every night.
He won’t eat chips, potatoes, rice or pasta.

Perhaps I am going wrong by making him something after he won’t eat the family meal. I had thought perhaps he would go to bed hungry and then wake during the night.

OP posts:

WelshPony · 05/02/2025 21:19

That is a great list of foods for a child that age,he can get everything he needs. The main thing at this age is to make sure he doesn’t sense any tension around mealtimes. I would always give him something you are confident he will eat plus a small portion of ‘new’ food. If he eats it great, offer more but if he leaves it you clear the plate without comment.
I would also give him a mid afternoon snack so he has eaten 2 hours before dinner. Nothing too big or heavy, maybe some fruit/veg. I think eating regularly makes you more ready for food.
A pp has said it but when they are sat opposite other children eating things they follow suit. Peer pressure can be useful! This means down the line he will broaden his eating.
Don’t fall into the trap of putting pudding on a pedestal only allowed when plate has been cleared. This sets them up for future food issues.

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:21

InWithThePlums · 05/02/2025 20:47

More varied than my diet probably 😬

Do you want to come round for some peanut butter on toast? It will be on the table at 5pm 😊

OP posts:

Nannydoodles · 05/02/2025 21:22

I agree with previous poster, hide the bananas and the snack foods he likes and serve all the meal up on the centre of the table giving him a little bit of everything making sure he has a little bit of something he likes.
Then try and ignore him just removing his plate when you have all finished regardless of what he has eaten (if it ends up on the floor leave it until you have finished your meal).
Then serve his normal desert, no fuss, no extras.
If you feel before bed he will be hungry offer toast or a banana then, he shouldn’t go to bed hungry, but hopefully it will be long enough after dinner that he doesn’t think he’s got what he wants instead of his meal.
It might not be easy to start with and meals may not be fun for a while but long term it’s worth it, just try and stay strong and calm!

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:24

Laalaalala · 05/02/2025 21:11

My son is 2.

was/is a fussy eater. We went the traditional route of pureed and worked up then added in BLW.

the best thing for my son was at nursery watching other kids eat. Apparently he eats everything there and things he definitely doesn’t eat at home. Also to add as we work late he typically eats his evening meal approx 4pm as lunch is 11.30/12. So in the last few months especially he is very interested in what’s on my plate, even if I put the exact same thing on his bowl he wants it from mine if he sees me eating it. Also goes through stages loving and eating things then stops eg yoghurts - hates them this week loved them last week.

I have tried to stop worrying and not put pressure on it, I was worrying a lot before but I am just ensuring he is trying a variety of things!

Thank you this is helpful. My son doesn’t go to nursery but we do try and have him eat around other people, not just me & my husband.
Maybe I will send him to granny’s for tea when his cousins are there, they are a bit older but it could help. Thanks again.

OP posts:

BadSkiingMum · 05/02/2025 21:25

When my DC was two, I decided to do a ten-week postgrad module, every Monday evening. My DH was responsible for collecting from nursery that day and feeding supper, so he decided to do a boiled egg project i.e. offer the same supper every Monday evening. It took the full ten weeks for DC to eat the whole egg, but they were a failsafe from that day forward!

At a slightly older age (when they weren’t going to smash the plate) I had some success by buying a fancy cut glass crudités plate (with lots of different sections) from a charity shop and just cutting up lots of different vegetables for the different sections. Then I would put it out on the work surface and, crucially, not mention it. Sooner or later, I would see a little hand reaching up to take something…

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:25

Ok thank you, I will give this some thought. Try & stick to a plan for tomorrow nights dinner.

OP posts:

Emotionalsupporthamster · 05/02/2025 21:29

Hiddenhouse · 05/02/2025 18:02

OP what I will share with you is what was told to me - you’re doing a great job, all things pass and your toddler will eat more foods and less foods as they grow up. Continue to offer as much variety as possible and trust yourself. You’ve got this

These are wise words and pretty much all you need to know.

Spookywoodhollow · 05/02/2025 21:29

It’s all fine. Sounds great. Keep exposing them to new food even if they don’t eat. My toddler ate only toast and oat
bars for the best part of a year and is now an excellent eater.

Kiwi83 · 05/02/2025 21:31

When he's 5 he'll want fish fingers and chips every night likely, that's a big range but I know it doesn't feel like it, you're doing great stop stressing unless LO is on the lower lines of the growth chart and even then as long as they're following the curve they're fine 👍

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 21:35

Edwina8320 · 05/02/2025 21:18

Seruously, do you not understand that the op is posting because she is worried about how restricted her child's diet is?? She knows he isnt having these foods. Its not because she doesnt care or hasnt tried.
Op, I have an autistic 6 year old whose diet is v similar. The paediatrician referred him twice to an eating clinic but both times he was rejected as he has too many foods and some from each group, which your child also has. I definitely think it is worth speaking to your GP though as at his age there may be some other feeding group you could go to for ideas/support.
Your child has quite a lot of fruit/salad which is good. The advise i was given was to rotate all his foods on a v regular basis so he has all his fruit/couple of veg in a week and doesn't "forget" safe foods. If your child has peanut butter, would they try other nut butters? My child will have three types both on toast and porridge and also a few whole nuts.
I was told to always provide "safe foods" at meals but then put something new alongside it. I bought plates that have seperate sections so my child doesn't have to be worried about things touching. I am generally pretty relaxed as my child is healthy and growing. Over time we have had a few new foods added(though admittedly he has cut others out) and I am just going to continue as I am trying not to get upset/put pressure on him.
It is v hard though and I'm sorry you are going through the same. 💐

Show quote history

Thank you for posting. I am sorry you have had issues with your child’s eating habits too. Has your son always been fussy or did it develop over time?
He might try different nut butters, thank you for suggesting this. It’s something I hadn’t really considered. My husband has just reminded me that our son also eats strawberries, raspberries, kiwi & pineapple so I think we have fruit well and truly covered 😅

I do have the plates with the separate portions, these get thrown on the floor but maybe I should persevere with them?

I am glad you said you are relaxed as your child is growing & healthy. My child is also growing & healthy it seems, he is tall for his age. Started crawling at 9 months but didn’t walk until he was 18 months. Now at 20 months he is trying to run everywhere 😇 maybe I need to relax too.

OP posts:

Olika · 05/02/2025 21:38

'Perhaps I am going wrong by making him something after he won’t eat the family meal. I had thought perhaps he would go to bed hungry and then wake during the night.'

I think you should stop making him something else as he has learnt he will get something yummy if he refuses to eat.
My DD is fussy with food and likes limited things, doesn't like trying new things. We keep putting the plate in front of her and get on eating ours and after a while she starts eating even if she has refused in the beginning. It really helps we don't give her extra attention and concentrate on our own plates.

therattlebag23 · 05/02/2025 21:38

LOL at the sole with parsley.

I think it's really normal for small children not to want to eat meals where foods are mixed up like stew, curries etc. My DS liked foods to be very separate. As he got older he got more and more adventurous, but it probably wasn't until he was 10 (?) that he would eat a curry or stew. Don't worry, OP, he is eating a healthy range of foods and he will move on to more 'adult' foods when he is ready.

maxelly · 05/02/2025 21:45

Sounds like you're doing great OP. He's only very little still, his eating will improve in time. How's his weight, is he growing and hitting his milestones, is he generally well aside from normal childhood lurgies? If so I really don't think you need to be concerned. It's absolutely amazing how well babies/toddlers can thrive on what seems to us adults like very little food.

I've posted before about my oldest DD who ate an insanely bad diet pretty much from weaning until about 7. She really barely took in any calories other than from milk, very occasionally a little bit of very soft very processed white sliced bread or tinned pasta. No fruit/veg, no meat or fish - you can imagine how much I was tearing my hair out. Nothing worked, not bribes not pleading not refusing her all other food, she just had no interest in eating. Luckily this was pre-MN and social media or I'm sure I'd have been torn to shreds! As it was trying to explain/negotiate with school about her diet was bad enough. But do you know what, one day she turned a corner and started very slowly trying things completely of her own accord, and today's she's a very unfussy adult with a super healthy diet who loves food and cooking. And no long term health affects whatsoever, it's like it never was. I'm sure your boy won't be as extreme but just to emphasize so long as he gets some calories in he'll likely be completely, absolutely fine

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:09

WelshPony · 05/02/2025 21:19

That is a great list of foods for a child that age,he can get everything he needs. The main thing at this age is to make sure he doesn’t sense any tension around mealtimes. I would always give him something you are confident he will eat plus a small portion of ‘new’ food. If he eats it great, offer more but if he leaves it you clear the plate without comment.
I would also give him a mid afternoon snack so he has eaten 2 hours before dinner. Nothing too big or heavy, maybe some fruit/veg. I think eating regularly makes you more ready for food.
A pp has said it but when they are sat opposite other children eating things they follow suit. Peer pressure can be useful! This means down the line he will broaden his eating.
Don’t fall into the trap of putting pudding on a pedestal only allowed when plate has been cleared. This sets them up for future food issues.

Thank you, this is good advice.
I am confident he isn’t feeling any tension at mealtimes, I am conscious that I don’t want to make the problem worse (if it is a problem)
He gets praise when he does eat but I do just clear up what he doesn’t eat without fuss.
I will try adding in a light snack mid-afternoon and see how that goes.

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:11

Nannydoodles · 05/02/2025 21:22

I agree with previous poster, hide the bananas and the snack foods he likes and serve all the meal up on the centre of the table giving him a little bit of everything making sure he has a little bit of something he likes.
Then try and ignore him just removing his plate when you have all finished regardless of what he has eaten (if it ends up on the floor leave it until you have finished your meal).
Then serve his normal desert, no fuss, no extras.
If you feel before bed he will be hungry offer toast or a banana then, he shouldn’t go to bed hungry, but hopefully it will be long enough after dinner that he doesn’t think he’s got what he wants instead of his meal.
It might not be easy to start with and meals may not be fun for a while but long term it’s worth it, just try and stay strong and calm!

Thank you for this, sounds like a good plan.

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:18

BadSkiingMum · 05/02/2025 21:25

When my DC was two, I decided to do a ten-week postgrad module, every Monday evening. My DH was responsible for collecting from nursery that day and feeding supper, so he decided to do a boiled egg project i.e. offer the same supper every Monday evening. It took the full ten weeks for DC to eat the whole egg, but they were a failsafe from that day forward!

At a slightly older age (when they weren’t going to smash the plate) I had some success by buying a fancy cut glass crudités plate (with lots of different sections) from a charity shop and just cutting up lots of different vegetables for the different sections. Then I would put it out on the work surface and, crucially, not mention it. Sooner or later, I would see a little hand reaching up to take something…

Oh wow, this sounds promising, I would love it if my son would eat eggs, we have an endless supply and eat them all the time.
Can I ask if your husband served the eggs exactly the same every week ? Was there anything else on the plate with the egg ?
We have scrambled, omelette, boiled, fried, dippy eggs, frittata on loop. He has never put anything to do with eggs in his mouth.
I am willing to try a 10 week egg project 😄

Also yes to the not mentioning food on the side. I will get on this tomorrow.

Thank you.

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:20

Spookywoodhollow · 05/02/2025 21:29

It’s all fine. Sounds great. Keep exposing them to new food even if they don’t eat. My toddler ate only toast and oat
bars for the best part of a year and is now an excellent eater.

Edited

Thank you for posting, did they just grow out of it gradually?

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:22

Kiwi83 · 05/02/2025 21:31

When he's 5 he'll want fish fingers and chips every night likely, that's a big range but I know it doesn't feel like it, you're doing great stop stressing unless LO is on the lower lines of the growth chart and even then as long as they're following the curve they're fine 👍

Thanks, he hasn’t been weighed in a while but I have no concerns over his growth, he looks in fine shape.
Looking forward to him asking for fishfingers and chips.

OP posts:

Wibblywobblybobbly · 05/02/2025 22:24

Biona do a mixed nut butter. I'd try that next as it has a lot of peanuts in it, but will gradually introduce the flavours of the other nuts too. After that I'd try cashew and almond butters on their own.

Look up Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility. I think it will really help you as an approach as it takes all the stress off.

Crispynoodle · 05/02/2025 22:25

Can highly recommend sr_nutrition on instagram. She is THE person to go to/follow on child weaning issues. Charlotte is fabulous

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:25

Olika · 05/02/2025 21:38

'Perhaps I am going wrong by making him something after he won’t eat the family meal. I had thought perhaps he would go to bed hungry and then wake during the night.'

I think you should stop making him something else as he has learnt he will get something yummy if he refuses to eat.
My DD is fussy with food and likes limited things, doesn't like trying new things. We keep putting the plate in front of her and get on eating ours and after a while she starts eating even if she has refused in the beginning. It really helps we don't give her extra attention and concentrate on our own plates.

Thank you, I will give this a try.

OP posts:

Original poster

PancakePatty · 05/02/2025 22:30

therattlebag23 · 05/02/2025 21:38

LOL at the sole with parsley.

I think it's really normal for small children not to want to eat meals where foods are mixed up like stew, curries etc. My DS liked foods to be very separate. As he got older he got more and more adventurous, but it probably wasn't until he was 10 (?) that he would eat a curry or stew. Don't worry, OP, he is eating a healthy range of foods and he will move on to more 'adult' foods when he is ready.

Thank you, what did your child like to eat when they were a toddler?

OP posts:

Apileofballyhoo · 05/02/2025 22:33

Have you tried pancakes and French Toast, OP? Or cooking some of the veg he likes in batter? Just to use up some eggs! Pancakes can be a little bit crispy if you make them thin and cook them slowly, he might like them. I add a bit of vanilla extract to both the toast and the pancakes but you can make them savory too.

I’m not sure my child has a varied enough diet. Please help!

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