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What do you wish your parents had been stricter about?

89 replies

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 05/02/2025 15:08

For me it's sugar consumption, especially fizzy drinks as a teen. My mum would buy coke for me as my main drink, the way other people have water or squash. At the time I thought she was cool but now I don't have much of my original teeth left and I regret it every day! I'd rather she'd been strict!

What do you wish your parents had said no to, with hindsight?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
TheWayTheLightFalls · 05/02/2025 15:20

I wish they'd been harder on speaking to me in our native language. I can now barely speak it and read at the level of a five year old.

I have three kids, DH's language + Saturday school is non negotiable.

redgingerbread · 05/02/2025 15:22

Nothing - I wish they’d been much less strict!

LittleRedRidingHoody · 05/02/2025 15:24

Teeth brushing! 😬

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Barbadossunset · 05/02/2025 15:24

Practising piano.

remaininghopeful23 · 05/02/2025 15:26

Healthy eating. I think DM didn't know any better, had a difficult upbringing herself and just didn't know how to cook, or even the importance of home cooking. I know she could have learned but it was more than just not knowing it was no knowledge of nutrition and not realising what she was doing was wrong. All ended up with varying degrees of weight problems that were difficult to fix as adults.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/02/2025 21:38

LittleRedRidingHoody · 05/02/2025 15:24

Teeth brushing! 😬

Same! 😁

nowtygaffer · 05/02/2025 21:38

Teeth brushing for me too!!!

Pickandmixusername · 05/02/2025 21:41

My parents were lovely and we had no major issues with diet or toothbrushing. But I wish mine had been a bit more encouraging with activities and hobbies etc. They didn't want us to be overscheduled, which I get, but I think they went too far in the other direction.

CatDogGuineaPig · 05/02/2025 21:42

Native language here too. And probably booze but they both drink at problems levels

EmiliaRuusuvuori · 05/02/2025 21:48

redgingerbread · 05/02/2025 15:22

Nothing - I wish they’d been much less strict!

Me too.

littlemisssunshine247 · 05/02/2025 21:58

Made me eat veg from a young age. I still hate it as an adult and it makes me feel a bit childish in company.

Wishitwasstraightforward · 05/02/2025 22:04

Their own alcohol consumption.

ThoseDarnCrows · 05/02/2025 22:10

Nothing, being in prison would have been easier.

neverthelastone · 05/02/2025 22:19

Music practice. They didn’t push me to do it and because I was quite a naturally lazy child, I wasted my musical talent (I was pretty good at it but didn’t have the discipline to practice). By the time I realised I wanted to, I was a bit too old (17) to catch up.

I had a friend at primary school whose very strict father made her get up at six AM every day to do 30 mins practice each on two instruments before getting ready for school. I was pretty horrified at that, but somewhere in the middle of the two extremes would have been good! I now try to make sure DD does enough to keep up her music, which again she’s pretty decent at though not a prodigy. So far she has got to grade 5 with distinctions just through ten minutes practice most days. I wish I had known as a child that little and often works fine: and that I didn’t need to put in huge amounts of effort, just enough effort every day to keep improving.

In general my parents probably let us watch too much tv and not really stick at hobbies. I did ballet, guides, and the occasional other thing, but I could have done with them setting a few more boundaries about going and doing things. If (like all kids) it was easier or more comfy for us not to go to an activity, or cold/rainy and TV was more fun, they just let us not do things, which was not a good habit for later life.

I also wish my parents had told me how talented I was and made me develop my talents. Clearing some stuff out in their house, I found drawings that I’d done, poems and stories that I’d written, and realised that I was really talented, especially at drawing, but nobody ever told me! They just said “that’s nice, dear”, but never actually explained to me that I had genuine talent. I had no idea and dropped art and stopped doing anything arty because I thought I was no good at it — which couldn’t have been further from the truth.

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/02/2025 22:27

Nothing. My parents were great, reasonably strict but not overly so. I had a very good upbringing

GoldMoon · 05/02/2025 22:29

School / education .

FumingTRex · 05/02/2025 22:29

Nothing, but i wish they had explained more about politeness and social rules. I had a big learning curve when I left home.

MrsGhastlyCrumb · 05/02/2025 22:30

My mum was bilingual from a bilingual country. I wish we had had the other language.

They were pretty strict though. Would have been nice if they had any actual interest in us tbh. Strict or no.

stayathomer · 05/02/2025 22:31

I wish they’d made me help more at home and cook more (I’m bad at cleaning and cooking!!)

TheChosenTwo · 05/02/2025 22:33

Well my mum was pretty strict anyway so nothing! I do wish she’d invested time in us but not any more discipline 😂

Germanymunch · 05/02/2025 22:34

I was a boarder so I had a strict Matron who made me feel incompetent instead!
I do wish my parents had paid some attention to my school work or which exams I was doing and actually suggested career options after bothering to get to know me. When I think of how much I look up for my DC it is a very stark difference.

ChiliFiend · 05/02/2025 22:41

stayathomer · 05/02/2025 22:31

I wish they’d made me help more at home and cook more (I’m bad at cleaning and cooking!!)

Came here to say the same - my children all participate in chores because I refuse for them to be as useless as me and have to learn the hard way to pitch in, as I did.

MrsSunshine2b · 05/02/2025 22:45

Nothing, my parents were too strict.

Re musical instruments, forcing a child to practise might get them through the grades but it doesn't give them much love for the instrument. I feel sad when I look at my piano now, gathering dust. All the joy has been sucked out of it.

godmum56 · 05/02/2025 22:45

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/02/2025 22:27

Nothing. My parents were great, reasonably strict but not overly so. I had a very good upbringing

this

socks1107 · 05/02/2025 22:48

Not let me have uninvited cola. I've just given it up at age 45.
Made me stay and finish my a levels. I've worked hard to be at that same point but it hasn't been easy. I made my dd stay and now she's final year of her degree and thanks me!