What do you wish your parents had been stricter about?

[SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter]

For me it's sugar consumption, especially fizzy drinks as a teen. My mum would buy coke for me as my main drink, the way other people have water or squash. At the time I thought she was cool but now I don't have much of my original teeth left and I regret it every day! I'd rather she'd been strict!

What do you wish your parents had said no to, with hindsight?

Everything. Was left to my own devices from around 8. Got into all sorts of bloody dangerous situations, looking back.

Absolutely nothing. My parents taught me right from wrong, set boundaries, and disciplined me when needed while giving me a lot of freedom, which helped me develop independence and resilience.

Not that my childhood was perfect but it wasn't appalling either.

Everything tbh. My parents were way too laid back with me and as much as I loved them (they're both dead now) and them me, I suspect I would be in a much better place in many areas had they been more strict.

My parents never taught my brother or I to stand up for ourselves and nor did they stand up for us either, even when unfair things happened right in front of them. For example when my 'best friend' stole my favourite doll in front of me / them and my mum said nothing as she didn't want to make a fuss.

As a result I was a people pleaser with no assertive skills whatsoever until long into my 30's and am now someone who cannot always handle conflict appropriately. I either explode or stew on things. Sometimes both

My weight. I was a very large pre teen, referred to the dietician at 11. Told the truth about what I ate at home during that appointment and my mum told me off afterwards for embarrassing her. Funky enough we never saw a dietician again.

Lifelong diets for me since. And I'm still massively fat.

Emotional intelligence.

Mine have none and I wish I'd been given the chance to prepare in a grown-up way, how to handle what life has thrown at me.

Feel a bit sorry for them actually.

Nothing.

They were strict enough to be good parents.

Telling me when I was interrupting or talking too much. I know it was seen as cute but I think it's part of the reason I am a terrible listener, which I've spent my adulthood trying to overcome.

But "research" into anything is so much easier today with the internet. Back then libraries and trips to universities would have been required for careers advice.

Same here. Was forced to prctise every day on an instrument l had no interest in.

Working harder at school, going to a different school (rather than the one my friends went to).

Nothing at all!

Neither parent was overly strict and I cannot think of anything they were too strict about. My dad died suddenly when I was 15 and my mum did a fabulous job of bringing up my younger brother and myself.

What are you concerned about OP?

My parents were very laid back, but valued manners, education and dental hygiene! My maternal grandmother was very strict with my mother and didn’t encourage her academically at all and so my mum really reacted to that, I wasn’t expected to do chores, so when it came to running a house I really struggled, and she’s fantastic at it!

She also gave me far too much freedom, she’d pick me up from the pub at midnight at 16 and let me out clubbing even, thankfully I had some decent friends and didn’t get into trouble, but I’d not let my kids out drinking so young. Dd17 has been much less eager to grow up quickly, I hope she’s had a good childhood.

They should have been stricter on dental hygiene and sugar intake, but I do believe things have changed hugely since then so I don't blame them. Information on dental hygiene was absolutely non-existent at school!

I wish they'd been less strict on hobbies. We were pushed to do things we didn't enjoy for far too long and it caused huge stress in our household. They could have saved themselves the trouble because none of us still plays the piano, squash etc.

Teeth cleaning- only in the morning and an apple quarter to 'clean your teeth' at bedtime. Waste of toothpaste to do more.
Homework- no checks at all, they may have noticed I was sliding further down
Clubs- let me just give up. I was an awkward child still am I got easily embarrassed, and often said or did something that I then cringed about and still do in the dead of night and refused to go again.

Stricter on my older siblings when they were bullying/ teasing me. They didn’t intervene and mocked me for being upset. They thought that I should be more able to take a joke and would learn this better by being the constant source of ridicule and jibes.

the motivating aim of my life was to get away from those people.

Me too.

Sugar in drinks and dental hygiene too. My mum was ahead of the game with UPF and didn’t let us eat anything that was highly processed, all meals were cooked from scratch at home and I was expected to help so that all comes naturally. But they let us drink whatever we wanted whenever we wanted so I grew up never drinking water, just juice and soft drinks in copious quantities. Even milk was only drunk sweetened! They also did not make us brush our teeth at night - it is a miracle my teeth are not worse than they are.

This came from a place of ignorance not neglect. They themselves had no idea of the importance of caring for teeth as we do today and likewise with sugar in drinks.

Needless to say my children are only offered water and milk on a daily basis, we do not keep any other drinks in the house and they must brush their teeth for 2 minutes before bed every night.

What do you wish your parents had been stricter about?

Their own behaviour. They could have tried being faithful to each other, and showing each other respect. They could have treated their children as if we were worthwhile, valuable beings.

Another one saying toothbrushing. We were definitely encouraged to do it but not supervised for long enough. Mine were pretty strict in general, I always felt I wasn't allowed to do much in comparison to my friends. But like a couple of other posters, I wish they had encouraged hobbies more, especially sport. My mum is particularly unsporty and as a result, I've not formed good habits around exercise. My daughter is only two but I'm trying to make walks and swimming a normal part of her week and to let her see me exercising so she sees being strong and healthy as something positive and not intimidating.

Actually, adding another, like some others....assertiveness, self confidence...we were always made to feel inferior. For example, if we were in a playground and other kids came in, we would have to leave, or if there were kids already there, we went home again. The swimming pool was off limits as 'you will be bullied, rough kids go there' so I didn't learn to swim until I was 40!

The result of my upbringing made me do the opposite, all my kids made it to adulthood with no fillings. They went to clubs and were encouraged to persist even if it got hard. All learnt musical instruments. They were encouraged to believe that they were capable of being confident, knowledgeable, capable young people. Their education was paramount.

Nothing, really, they mostly got the balance right. But I think I'd have loved to have been encouraged to get more exercise from a young age. That's more a lifestyle and personality thing though.

The same! I was addicted to sherbet fountains!! Well I used the liquorice like a soon but never ate it!! Yuck!
Wagon wheels, orange clubs and flakes took their toll.
Also water wasn't a thing!!
I was loved very much by grandparents though so it was their way of showing love!
I do remember my mum shouting that I was given too many sweets! 🍭 🍬 🍫
Heavy costs of dentistry to this day!!

I was interested in learning to play, but having to practise for an hour every day, on top of private school homework, at least one (and often 2) daily extra-curriculars, made it a chore rather than a joy.