What do you wish your parents had been stricter about?

[SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter]

For me it's sugar consumption, especially fizzy drinks as a teen. My mum would buy coke for me as my main drink, the way other people have water or squash. At the time I thought she was cool but now I don't have much of my original teeth left and I regret it every day! I'd rather she'd been strict!

What do you wish your parents had said no to, with hindsight?

Education. I wanted to learn the piano but I didn’t get lessons.

Nothing really-they were reasonably strict but I was reasonably compliant so it worked out ok. Don’t think there was anything I wish they’d been less strict about either

actually I’ve thought of something I wish they were less strict about- chewing gum/bubble gum. I was never allowed a screwball ice cream and I really wanted one.
im quite addicted to chewing gum now so I wonder if that’s why!

Fizzy drinks and eating whatever we want when we want. Also money I wish I was taught about money

Tidying up or chipping in with chores. As a child I was never expected to lift a finger, I didn't ever do any cleaning or tidying up, washing up, I didn't do anything to help around the house. My mum did everything. As an adult I've struggled massively to maintain a home because none of that comes naturally to me, I'm such a messy person and it takes much more effort for me to tidy as I go and think to do jobs than it does for me DH, who was brought up in a very strict household where he had to do all the things. I wish it had been more of a part of my routine when I was younger.

I wish I had been taught to put money in a stocks and shares ISA from 18 years old. I was never really taught about money properly

Another one who was allowed to eat sugar galore, and would go days without brushing teeth before I was a teen

I wasn't encouraged to have any hobbies or to do any activities, which perhaps explains my lack of them now

I don't think it was too unusual at the time, and my parents were both busy with full time jobs, and looking after my other siblings.

My DH comes from a more strict background, where they were fed in a very healthy, non UPF way and he's got much less of a sweet tooth than I do. I can't go a day without chocolate. :(

Really interesting to read these, and the influences on people as adults.

My parents weren't very strict, but I did have a healthy diet and they always encouraged school work. But I was quite compliant so they never had to be too strict.

I do wish they'd been stricter on me doing hobbies though. I didn't really do much as a child, and easily give up on things now. It's hard though - one of my dc doesn't like doing much and now he's 11 it's very hard to force him to do anything. Leverage of screen time doesn't work if he really doesn't want to do clubs.

Yes, what I meant up thread was not at all about parents forcing kids to do anything! My parents were the very opposite, but that meant they didn’t give us a sense of structure and sticking at things. I wouldn’t have wanted to be forced to practise; but they could have been firmer about setting expectations, reminding us to, having a structure everyday with time for us to do music practice/hobbies etc. It’s not great to allow kids to give up on things the instant they don’t feel like doing something or it’s a bit too much effort or a rainy evening or something on the TV instead.

They were the same about homework - not bothered about making us do it, we didn’t have a set time to do it or a routine for homework. That wasn’t a problem for me, as I was a clever teenager with a good memory, and because I got good marks the teachers let me get away without doing homework most of the time. But this was a bit of a disastrous way of life for my siblings, who struggled academically but my parents didn’t really ensure they did homework, just left it up to them (so of course they didn’t do it!)

It’s possible to steer a middle course between forcing kids to do things, and not bothering to the point of being laissez-faire.

OMG toothbrushing for me for SURE! I have terrible problems now.

I brush my own kids' teeth religiously - they're allowed to do it in the mornings but I've told them an adult needs to brush at night until they're 12. We'll see how long I can get away with that...!

And having unchecked access to food. I sort of appreciate the sentiment, they said it was our house and we didn't need to ask - but some guidance around not having 3 kitkats and ice-cream as a 'little snack' might not have gone amiss. Have battled with my weight all my life.

Dental hygiene
Working/networking

Nothing. My parents had just the right balance.
Ds1 now says he wishes I'd pushed him harder and been more strict with mobile phone usage. I was shocked at both, because he's going well at a good uni and to me that's good enough.

Teeth cleaning. Got loads of fillings and was allowed to buy sweets all the time including eating pure sherbet and not cleaning teeth before bed. Drank no water

Drinking squash at bedtime. Otherwise I think they struck a good balance between loving and strict.

Not much be honest. I think they weren't super strict or leanient.

I was also allowed to drink a lot of fizzy full sugar drinks. I didn't really drink anything else back then. I still drink fizzy juice now but I try to limit it to 1 can a day. Maybe 2 sometimes.

I've never really had any issues with my teeth. A few fillings here and there but that's been it.

I was def very lazy and never lifted a finger. They shld have been more strict about making me help around the house even a tiny bit. When I bought my first house I had no idea how to work a washing machine. Just as well DH was clued up 😂

I’m really interested to read how many of you weren’t encouraged to brush your teeth. My mum was very keen on us brushing our teeth.

Yes it's terrible really isn't it. I had a mouthful if fillings by the time I left school. Still have loads of trouble as an adult. My 3 DCs (one teen and 2 adults) have only got 1 filling between them. I think this is partly a reflection of current dentistry though.

Drinking, smoking and teeth brushing!

My parents were strict on teeth brushing and regular dentist visits, but didn't restrict sweet food so it sort of defeated the object and we had loads of fillings 😕

Going to school.

My dad worked shifts and once we hit our teens, mum decided if we went or not was up to us and she wouldn't make us, nor would she write excuse notes if we didn't go.

I quickly learned to forge her handwriting and later had to go to college to get my gcses.

Food. No attempt to cook decent meals. It was chips chips and more chips (fried in lard) because that was easy.

Teeth, like others, I can't remember ever being prompted.

Basically neglect in every way now I think of it.

My sister was a dreadful bully and constantly got away with it. It should have been disciplined out of her but my father didn't care and my Mum was scared of her

Coke and teeth brushing too. DH and I have strict rules for our own DCs as we both have rotten teeth and health issues.

Also education, my parents didn’t give a shit if we were in school or not, both older db and I sat our GCSEs failed miserably, younger db didn’t even bother sitting his, he can barely read or write. At least older db and I tried as adults to improve our education, but still don’t have GCSEs.

I wish my parents had been stricter on education. They were good and taught us about money and how to budget etc so that was a positive.

I wish they’d pushed me more academically, I was bright as a child and education came easy to me so I didn’t really try particularly hard because I just did well.

I realise now that if they’d encouraged me to go to a better school across town I’d have probably achieved more in my career etc, rather than just bumbling along.

It was just left to me to decide and I couldn’t be bothered to get the bus and it was never mentioned again 🤣