I feel like such a failure as a mum. Because I am just struggling so hard with managing my house and my life yet my kids large do sweet FA. And I don't know how to fix it.
I'm 55 with some health and mental health problems which have worsened since Sept. Chronic pain, chronic migraines, panic attacks, depression. I am mostly on benefits at present. I am ashamed of how much of a failure I am. But much of my depression is because of where I am at 55. It feels a never ending slog. And it's all my fault.
Kids are DS21 / DS18 / DS16 / DD16. I think they are all old enough that I shouldn't feel this way. But for various reasons they don't pull their weight. The boys all have high-functioning ASD.
DS1(21) dropped out of a levels, won't get a job, won't apply for UC because he says he will be doing a levels. That was a year ago. He sleeps all day. Will do any job around the house (some nagging) if asked but largely isn't awake to ask. I am not sure if he's capable of living an independent life.
DS2(18) will go to Uni this year. Works p/t. Works hard at college. Does sweet FA at home unless I nag for England.
DS3(16) up half the night doing web development (he has some work & is very talented) and chatting on discord. Will do a chore if asked (some nagging). Refuses to get out of bed today. I've just screamed at him after asking 6 times. His room is pigsty. Hasn't given me laundry so has no uniform for the week.
DD (16) does every chore asked of her and well. Cleans up her mess. Brings her laundry down without being asked. Helps without being asked. Cooks her own meals every night. Is frustrated by her brothers but I have supported her in every way possible - she's with CAHMS since October 23.
Two eldest are NC with their Dad. He sees the younger 2 every few months for a couple of hours. Pays maintenance. That's it.
please be kind.