Safe Guarding Teacher called with stories

[BlazenWeights]

Hi. So I’m asking on behalf of my sister.
my sister said the safe guarding head or teacher called her today to say that her daughter 4YO told her at school that the blister on her hand was due to her trying to retrieve her football that fell in the fire. My sister told the safeguarding teacher that the blister randomly appears every few months on both children’s arms. (Both kids have been having this fluid filled blister every couple months randomly , started when they moved to England) They’ve been to the GP who prescribed antibiotics and said they have no idea why and it might be some sort of reaction.
Now when her daughter came home she tried to find out what ball she was speaking about and her daughter said she told the teacher she slept and when she woke up the blister was there, no mention of any balls. Sister is upset and thinks the teacher made the story up.
do you think she should take it further I.e tell the class teacher or email saying her daughter said she never said anything of the sort or just let it go. It’s a 4YO word against an adult but she’s adamant her daughter doesn’t tell tales.
what do you all think . Thank you

It appears that a more pertinent question would be why don’t you care about keeping children safe, including your nieces?

Teachers do not make up stories. Any intelligent person would support the fact and understand that if a child says anything like this, the teacher is legally and morally obliged to investigate. An investigation is not the teacher or other professional saying they believe it did happen.

The teacher wouldn't have made it up.
The child might have though. They might have seen something in a book, TV show or film about a ball and a fire, and just related the story.
Another child saw the blisters and said they had that when they burnt themselves, and it put the idea in the kids mind?
Or maybe the child didn't quite have the correct language to describe what they meant so it was misconstrued.
Or simply misheard in a noisy environment.
Does she have an open fire in her home? If so I presume the kids know about safety and not going near fire?
It should be easy enough to explain that's not what happened but the teacher was just doing their job. Or trying to.

This reminds me of the time my friends son said his brother had been swept out to sea and rescued by the coast guard helicopter. They hadn't even gone to the beach.

I did some safeguarding training in a lovely village school (both school and village lovely!) A parent also attending the session couldn’t understand why we were being told national statistics about child abuse etc. as nothing like that happened in this lovely village school (unfortunately it did) Many parents have no idea what safeguarding leads have to deal with. They also have to deal with imaginations of 4 year olds!

DS nearly convinced his reception teacher that he had a younger sibling, ended up having a chat with the teacher after DS said that the sibling lived in France and we had left him there!

That sounds more like someone was so flustered they didn't hear what was being said fully, we often don't when we get concerning information

Threads like this every single day, it's depressing.

Yeah I wonder why people want to be teachers nowadays too or really at any time except if they really loved it. Not paid well, lots of disrespect from students and parent alike. I don’t think trying to find out why your kid may have been telling tales is a reason not to be a teacher. You don't think teachers are above the law do you? Both of my parents were teachers and loved it. Different times though. Every job has got its hazards.

This ⬆️

Thanks all for your time and responses.

Why on earth would I think teachers should be above the law?! What a strange claim. No-one is above the law.

Thank you to the DSLs on here. You do an amazing - and thankless - job every day, protecting children and young people.

We have a phrase in my job 'think the unthinkable'.

Teachers also have to do this.

Its right to think it as a possibility, doesnt mean its probable, but it is possible.

Unlikely, doesnt mean impossible.

This may not and likely doesnt apply to your niece, but professionals working to this day in and day out have to consider all possibilities.

Yes every job has got hazards and in teaching one of the biggest is knowing that you have missed a child who was being abused. You could have stopped it, you could have been the one to help them.

I’ll take 100 pissed off parents over one child being abused or dying.

Harsh! And very rude and uncalled for.

Safeguarding covers lots of issues too - I reported a child with a really nasty burn in her arm as it was the second in a few weeks. She was also really sad. She was 11, turned out her very well-to-do, professional parents were not getting home until 630 at the earliest and she was cooking tea and looking after her two younger siblings alone.

Also when DS was 4 his teacher asked me how his dad was coping with nights as DS was missing him - turns out he told everyone dad was a policeman. More exciting than the actual job in a bank!

Why would you and your sister assume the teacher is lying and not that your 4 year old niece who has a very wild imagination like all other 4 year olds has just told a story and then when confronted then lied because they didn’t want to get into trouble? Odd mindset from the pair of you.

I think someone is saying 'why be a teacher' because here is a teacher being accused of making up a story (a bizarre story to make up) because the parent doesn't believe their child would lie.

Teaching is hard enough, parents accusing teachers of lying is adding another layer of stress to the job.

You asked if an abusive parent would react like this if they'd really done it and the answer is yes! Parents can get angry, defensive, laugh it off, not care - it depends on the parent.

I’m sorry.

This exactly. If the question was "should we mention it at drop off tomorrow to find out more about what she actually said and where it came from?" I think the replies would be very different.

The fact your OP suggested emailing to insist her daughter never said anything of the sort is in fact not at all the same thing as what you've said here.

It's perfectly normal to be confronted with a new and surprising situation, especially concerning your children and react irrationally in the heat of the moment. Everyone in the world does it. I can't imagine the amount of ragey emails that must get written in people's imaginations.

If you go to Mumsnet, get some perspective and calm down then its fine to just back down. You don't need to pretend you were asking something you weren't or that you meant something completely different.

She’s absolutely well loved and taken care off.

Good, nobody wants your niece to be abused, that's why adults in schools have to listen to want children say and not dismiss it as fantasy. That's how Daniel Pelka died. In some families a child can be well loved and also be abused.

Flying off the handle at people is not a great way to behave.

OP you seem to assume the poster suggesting potential abuse was doing so to criticise your sister. Abuse often happens at the hands of parents but it is also via another source unknown such as a family friend / trusted adult involved in an interest group / sport who manipulates a child into keeping silent. Keeping alert for any potential signs of abuse is all our responsibility as adults. We need age appropriate conversations with children about potential dangers at all stages of parenting. Flying off the handle at the mention of potential abuse will not make you a good parent or caring relative.

You are right thank you. A lot of what you opined is correct.

I don’t think trying to find out why your kid may have been telling tales is a reason not to be a teacher.

Look at your original post. Your whole vibe in the first post is all about how you and your sister think the teacher is lying because heaven forbid, a 4 year old never would.

Your post is literally called “teacher called with stories” heavily implying the teacher is lying/making up stories.

Then there’s phrases such as:
“Sister is upset and thinks the teacher made the story up.”
“Do you think she should take it further and email saying her daughter said she never said anything of the sort.”
“She’s adamant her daughter wouldn’t tell tales.”

But now you’re COMPLETELY turning it around saying things like “I don’t think trying to find out why your kid may be telling tales is a reason not to be a teacher.” It’s like you’re now trying to change your own narrative and be all like “no no I’m not accusing the teacher of lying, I want to find out why my niece might be telling tales!”

Why do you think the teacher and GP would be “in cahoots”? That’s a really weird reaction and makes methi k there is something else going on with the family to jump straight to that. These are both very busy professionals who don’t have the time to do their actual jobs, let alone make stuff up for now
reason.