Positive stories about having three children

[2or3whatsittobe]

Has anyone got some positive experiences of having a third child they could share?

So many threads on here about the negatives (financial impact, less attention for each child, only two hands etc) but would love to see some positives.

We have two children and there is a chance I’m pregnant (going to test later today, we have been away for new year so waiting until home).I am now panicking and wanting to read some positive stories!

From a sibling point of view (I am one of three), I love it.

There is 6 years gap between me and my sisters (they are twins) and we are all in our thirties now.

Pros and cons to childhood and growing up, not sure how many of the cons were due to age gap. But some really good times.

But as we got older - probably from my early 20's it meant we did things all together sometimes and just as a two sometimes. I love the dynamic now we are in our thirties. We don't always do stuff together. One sibling has a child and I have 2 so we sometimes do child related things together. It means that if I don't get on with one particularly well, there is another one as a "buffer". We are all girls, have had squabbles (especially them as twins) but being a 3 dynamic just means the pressure is taken off a little if you see what I mean.

Always someone to talk to - if one of busy or at work the other is often free. We have a lovely relationship with our mum. And I think we all would say that we love being a 3.

Good luck x

I wanted 4 but we stopped at 3, they are now 19,18 and 16. Our life was literally outnumbered for years, the youngest is a loon and we were constantly in and out A&E for various accidents. He didn’t sleep through until we sleep trained him at 2 (which was brutal but necessary).

He is forever in trouble at school for standing up to teachers etc for injustices etc, but is an amazing character. Just so full on we realised almost as soon as he was born we had to stop there, there was no way we could cope with more.

And yes cost, practicalities etc etc much harder

whilst he is very loved it caused us huge financial distress and I would not underestimate this, we have had to increase our mortgage to build a loft extension for them to have their own bedrooms, for years his room was the dining room.

I'm going to come at this from a different angle. I'm a 3rd child. We are all adults now, fought like cat and dog as children but also have some very vivid happy memories and shared experiences. We have been able to support each other at some of the most difficult times as adults. I am so pleased to have 2 siblings, more so as I get older.

I love my 3. The baby years were busy (I had 3 under 5), baby no 3 was a complete surprise!

They are now teenagers and life is super easy, they all do their own thing. I wish I had gone and had a 4th tbh.

They are also a little gang which is cool !

Three is a magic number!

I love that mine have each other. They happily do stuff together, or as a pair if the third wants to do their own thing.

Practicalities can be easily overcome. 7-seater car is a must (to take friends, grandparents etc).
Did many cottage or mobile home holidays, and in USA and Canada used the all-suite hotels.
Start saving now for university!

Three with a 10 year gap between 2 and 3. Three was the best decision and luckiest outcome. The older kids adore the little one and she just brings joy. I parent her with appreciation and very little worry - we raised two just fine and so don’t fret about the small stuff.

It can be difficult and chaotic as the balance of adults v children is in their favour but that brings more fun too.
We played some games last night which was hilarious because the dcs tip things into more fun.
Yes it is more expensive and there are arguments and I had to learn some tactics on how to navigate friction between dc2 and dc3 which seemed constant for a while and also to be aware of middle child syndrome and try to make sure dc2 didn't feel hard done by.
We did lots of cheap and free stuff, got them out most days, holidays are usually budget ones where we look for cheap flights and Airbnb. I prefer that to one hotel room anyway. We adults need to put kids to bed on holiday and have time to ourselves in a different room.

Many threads on mumsnet seem to be mostly negative - I used to be on here a lot and when I took a break, I realised how skewed towards the negative discussions on here are.
I feel lucky every day that I have 3. There is so much love and fun in our house. What's not to like about having 3 lovely little people!

I have three, two teens and a pre-teen, all planned, and it's wonderful. I love the shape, pace and vibrancy in our family. I wouldn't change a thing. Congratulations, it's a blast, op.

I have three! 15, 12 and 7. The third just slotted in! They all have very different personalities and interests but we make it work!
The third is definitely harder work. He is none stop energy!

Would it have been easier with just the older two, yes! But it's been so worth it!

I have three. 6, 4 and a 4 month old.
My pregnancy was full on anxiety (although eased after around 20 weeks), but actually now he's here it's fine. It is harder but not so hard as to make it 'bad'. The worst thing I'm finding is just the return to the lack of sleep! Should get easier as he gets bigger though!

The best things are how much the other two adore him, like fully obsessed with everything he does. And he's generally very sweet and cute. I like knowing we have another family member - I only have one sister and we exchanged texts at Christmas and birthdays and that's it. My husband has two siblings and occasions at his house always feel full of life, so that's what we want in the future.

I had a surprise 3rd DC 8 years after 2nd DC. He's an adult now but has always brought me huge amounts of joy and love. He was never a difficult DC even as a teen. I'm very glad I have 3 DC.

has your mother met him op?

positive?

I have 3 children. 18, 12 and 11. 11 year old was unplanned and unexpected but has absolutely made our family complete. Yes it is more expensive, more manic, but it is worth every penny and second.

We have 3 dc. Ds20, Dd18, and Dd15. I wouldn't change a thing op. Obviously it was pretty full on when they were little but it was so worth it. If you need to spend time one to one with one of the children, the other two can play with each other.
They argue occasionally of course, but they are a really close knit team, and are each other's biggest cheerleaders. They speak regularly on three way video calls when the older two are away at University. Our house is always full of laughter and joy, there is never a dull moment. I've had comments from a few different friends of the dc that they love coming for dinner at our house because it's such a big get together.
Cons: We needed a big car, holidays abroad are much more expensive as you need two rooms, and loads of food items come in packs of 4. It's like feeding a small army when they are teens, and the laundry is unbelievable.

I'm one of three and so is DH. We always planned to have three as it felt like the right number. They are 22, 19 and 18. There's only 3.5 years between the oldest and youngest - yes it was hard work when they were little but two kids wouldn't have been enough for us. Ours get on well and the youngest two are particularly close.

Most of my friends have got three or four children so it seems very nornal. The only drawback is that its more difficult to find four bedroom houses than three but two of ours shared a room for a while with no complaints. DH also shared a room with his DB when they were growing up and enjoyed it - it made them closer.

We've always had standard sized cars - no people carriers. Even as adults we all fit in a five seater car without a problem.

Were you pregnant OP?? Refreshing to see your post....so many on here are very anti 3rd child.
We have many reasons why it would be a Mumsnet no no....3 bed rented small semi and kids would have to share bedrooms for foreseeable future, limited finances and lower income (but enough to get by for the essentials) etc etc.
Eldest child is quite challenging behaviourally at times and has ASD (not severe)
But we have alot of love to give and dote on our children aged 8&3 completely.They are the centre of me and DH's world and never go without....they are very privelidged and lucky despite us not being very well off.
DH and I have debated about whether to have another.....both on the fence and
I'm 37, 38 this year so feel I need to get A move on soon if we are going for it.
This post has given me a more balanced view that the 3rd isn't the carnage some seem to make out and there are many benefits which would outweigh the challenges.
Part of me likes the idea of going back to work in a year or so full time and being able to afford a mortgage on a bigger house, more holidays abroad etc.
But underneath it all.....i worry that trading having another little person to love just for the more material stuff might leave me with regrets.
The pregnancy/birth process, relentless feeding/nappies and sleepless nights have me somewhat unsure still tho! 😂

@ChitterChatter1987 no I wasn’t in the end and I did feel really disappointed! We’ve put all plans on hold for the last couple of months as it wouldn’t have been the right time, but we are starting to consider it again now. It’s such a tough decision and I’m a similar age to you so really get where you’re coming from. I do yearn for a third but worth it would be at a detriment to my existing DC. But then would an extra sibling add more to them than the materialistic things we could offer should we not have a third like you say!

This is such a great thread! I'm now 5 months pregnant with 3rd and generally find people are so negative about a 3rd. Though I did read all the negative threads here 1st and freak myself out a bit!

My big decision was whether to have a kid or not at all, as there's no going back to a kid free life. 2 is just too ordinary and quiet for us, and we realised that over xmas with my DHs family where everyone had 2 kids going back 3 generations so gatherings are small and very sedate. We still deliberated about a 3rd for a year, mainly as I wasnt sure I wanted to upend my career and body again.

I feel v few people put that much consideration into whether to have a 2nd and go and do it with a v small age gap which makes 2 kids v hard so 3 feels impossible.

We feel grateful we will have a 3 year gap between them each, the current 2 get on well, don't seem to have any development issues (yet noticed, touch wood) and are pretty outgoing, confident and independent Kids who mostly sleep amd eat well. If any of these things were already problematic I think the decision would have been harder.

We are lucky to have money and house set up OK whether 2 or 3 kids, but frankly our kids love sharing rooms despite having the option of their own rooms. Car we rarely use so happy to try renting if needed and see how we get on. Holidays, we aren't v fussed.

The most important thing we wanted and are looking forward to is their relationship. My current 2 are constantly talking to my bump and making plans for the new baby. Yes they are much calmer 1 on 1 than with each other, so I am anticipating much more crazy with a 3rd to join their shenanigans! I just watch the two of them watching tv now and it feels like there is someone missing...

So glad to find this thread, I keep getting lost in mumsnet threads/articles online about how terrible it is to have 3. I'm pregnant with my 3rd (unplanned) and have been in a state of constant anxiety since the day I tested, so it's nice to read all the positive stories and think about the longer term positives. My husband and I both work full time and care a lot about our jobs, so it feels like a real risk to be having another baby with all the challenges that brings, but I hope in the long term we wont regret it like most of the people have said on here.

3 is great. 13, 12 and 10 here. Anecdotally, the happiest families I know have either 1 or 3 children.

2 works well if they get on but can be a far too intense relationship if they don’t. 3 kids dilutes the intensity and every kid gets a peaceful time when they are left alone while the other 2 play or squabble.

More personality combinations, more noise, more mess, more laughter. It’s just more, usually in a good way.

This thread is filing me with hope! I loved being one of three but as the oldest I figured I got the best deal… I’m possibly maybe expecting another and was looking for some reassurance- and definitely found that! Now to sort out how it works since we both became self employed this year…

I have three, best thing ever.

This thread is als filling me with hope. I have 3 (7yo,4yo and 2 month old). It's early days and Christmas has been hard with constant feeding and feeding like I don't give the older two much attention but they love baby and I'm hoping things will get better 🤞

I have similar age gaps to you @glassof how have you been finding it?