Positive stories about having three children

[2or3whatsittobe]

Has anyone got some positive experiences of having a third child they could share?

So many threads on here about the negatives (financial impact, less attention for each child, only two hands etc) but would love to see some positives.

We have two children and there is a chance I’m pregnant (going to test later today, we have been away for new year so waiting until home).I am now panicking and wanting to read some positive stories!

Sometimes I can’t quite believe what I’m reading

@Quitelikeit sorry?

Your third child will be equally as wonderful as your first 2 (if you are pregnant.)
My third child is the most hilarious person I've ever met.
It's busy but lots of fun and love.

I have 3 (DC1 now 17 and DT now 15). I wouldn’t have done it on purpose but I cannot imagine my life any other way. Yes hard finances blah blah and yes my role as parent is huge and overwhelming sometimes but you just get on with it and muddle through with the hand you are dealt. I love that they have each other and the shifting family dynamics over the years has been much richer than if we had only had two. My DS and DSIL also have 3 and would say the same I think. Good luck OP!

So if you don’t get “positive stories” will that change… anything?

@ForOliveOP No but it’s a forum and people are allowed to ask for experiences of other people…. Literally the point of a forum!

I have 3 and it’s great! We’re poorer, tired-er, busier, the house is messier, but we love it and are so grateful to have three. She’s our wildcard, is nearly 2yo, and sponges learning from the others like I never could’ve imagined. She adores them too.

Being brutally honest things can be far simpler for families of 4 in terms of cars, holidays (hotel room configuration for 5 can be tricky when they get a bit older and nobody is in a cot any more). The youngest can get dragged around a bit when dropping off/picking up the older children. And yes, there are more children than parents so it's busy.

But I love the dynamic, the fun and laughter. If two of them squabble they've always got another sibling to engage with. It can ease tension in that respect for us.

Obviously every family has different experiences but for us 3 is just brilliant. 😊

I have 3! 7,5 and 2. The first year was pretty gnarly but as the baby has grown up I've started to feel really happy with the decision. The baby is my small slice of heaven...it's wonderful to get to do it all again without the anxiety and exhaustion of raising 2 under 2...I feel more confident and relaxed, and appreciate the babyness more than I ever could the first time round. It helps that the younger two are the same sex and get on in a way that mu older two don't- they play for ages together and share a lot of the same interests (imaginative play, baby dolls, usual girly stuff).

There will always be someone on threads about bigger families that says they don't speak to their siblings, they hated the noise, chaos, responsibility etc - but in this increasingly individualistic world I think it can hardly be a bad thing to potentially increase the number and combination of close family relationships that come with increasing family size.

Keep us posted...

I have 3. It's full on, expensive and tiring but there is never a dull moment. There is always a little person hugging me or saying I love you mummy. I enjoy having 3 but it is exhausting

yep

but it would have made more sense to have started the thread before having unprotected sex 😆

Mine are 21, 19 and 15. I was 100% expecting to be 2 and done - even wrote an essay about it at sixth form - but felt we were missing someone. Thought the feeling would pass but it didn’t. It’s happy chaos, it always has been. Good luck with the test, I hope you get the answer you want.

I love having 3 and can’t imagine it any other way! As my oldest is growing into her teenage stage and wanting to be with her friends more, I’m so grateful that my younger two still have each other to play with and do things together. It’s more of a family atmosphere, even if one child is feeling down, the family dynamic can keep going and it draws whoever is feeling a bit low back into it.

I shared a maternity ward (and met someone at twins club) whose contraception (in both cases combined pill) that failed.

We have 4, if one is at an activity 3 seems so easy! It's obviously all relative and 3 can still be a juggle but it's definitely manageable. I find that our no 3 has the most clothes as there are less than two years between him and his brother. So it doesn't cost anything to clothe him really 🤣 obviously if your baby is a different gender to your other two - it may cost in the long run but not for the first few months, hand me downs are the way to go no matter the colour!

I wanted two and have four and it’s perfect. I am so glad I didn’t just have two. Our life is so full and busy and packed with things happening and friends dropping round and news being shared and people supporting each other, or making each other laugh or learning from one another.

Human connections are what makes life special so I love having so many within the family and through the family our into each child’s friends.

There's always one 🙄

I have three also including a set of twins. Life is never dull or boring (sometimes I might wish it was!) I'd have had more children if I could have (marriage didn't survive twins though). They are a little gang, have each others backs, someone always has someone to play with. Very much depends on your age gap though - the dynamic could be very different and no two families are going to have the same experience of having 3 kids

As a PP said - yes, poorer, tireder, messier, and everything is logistically more tricky. But; there is so much more JOY in our house. Our third was an accident after two longed for babies - having spent 3+ years of my life trying to get pregnant, to have an accident felt… wow! (I was terrified!)

a really tangible positive for us - so many friends we know with two report loads of squabbling. Ours don’t to the same degree - of course they row and get fed up with each other, but there’s always someone else to turn to, or to break up the conversation, that I don’t think there’s the intensity of the 2 sibling dynamic (I’m one of 2). As a result, all 3 also seem to be fairly ok by themselves too.

first DC were 6 and 2 when DC3 was born, and during the crazy covid years when DC3 was a toddler they really bonded (I lost my mind but that’s another story). I joke that DC3 brought themself uo, but whether a mixture of personality of birth order (I suspect both) they’ve been exposed to so many “big kid” stuff they were confident and open to learn. Conversely, as my eldest hurtles to teenage hood, on a good day he’ll still “play” with the others (teddy bear zoos, racing around the woods, craziness at the play park) in a way there’s no way he’d do if he was the youngest.

I hope you get a result you can cope with.

I have 3 (6yr, 4yr and 2yr). It's hard, tiring, yes obviously things are more expensive but j wouldn't change it. They all love each other. They play beautifully with each other. Yes they argue sometimes, but I know they would be lost without each other. They all currently share a room as my son didn't want to be in a room without the girls.

@ForOliveOP Believe me when I say I’ve read every thread on Mumsnet there is about having three kids! And many are about the negatives so I just thought I’d ask about the positives.

Are you excited?

Happy that finances in good shape?

This is what has always appealed to me. I am one of two and family life seemed quiet compared to my best friend who was one of four. DH is one of three and family get together at his house just have more of a buzz about them, I love it.

@iggleoggle Thanks for sharing - superwoman dealing with three kids that age during covid!

the buzz will be because of the people involved and their relationship rather than the addition of one extra