Page 5 | 4.5 year old won't give up her dummy

TaraW20 · 2024-12-16T22:07:16+00:00

We have tried everything. My DS gave his up very easy but we just can't find anything to help. Any suggestions?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Floralnomad · 17/12/2024 00:46

Just get rid this week so it’s done before Christmas . No debate , no giving in just tell her it’s going and then cut and bin all the ones you have . This is not her decision it is yours , be the parent .

Wintersgirl · 17/12/2024 00:51

LoremIpsumCici · 16/12/2024 23:06

Kids need orthodontic braces anyway by the time they are 11-13….any dummy will be freely given up by then.

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Eh? None of my children have braces and only two out of the whole class needed them, so it's not all..

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 17/12/2024 00:52

LoremIpsumCici · 17/12/2024 00:41

Well that is not what I said, so there is why you fail to comprehend.

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Your opinions are so left of field, I can't be bothered!

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 17/12/2024 01:00

LoremIpsumCici · 17/12/2024 00:44

There are enough minor setbacks, losses and disappointments in life without parents going out of their way to artificially create them. In addition, it is not healthy for the source and cause of these adverse events to be their own parents. I’m not going to any great length at all, mine is a hands off approach to dummy weaning. Rather it is parents that are doing elaborate show and tells, coming up with rewards, and constant “don’t be a baby” conversations that are going to great lengths to upset their DC.

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I would say up to the age of 4 or so, parents are the source of almost all 'adverse events'!

Vaccines and other medical treatment.
Not being allowed a block of chocolate for breakfast.
Bedtime.
Getting dressed/having a bath/brushing teeth when they don't want to.
Not being allowed to go places/touch things they want to.

I spent about 5 milliseconds wondering how on earth you coped with the above with your mindset, then remembered you're just winding us up.

Rather it is parents that are doing elaborate show and tells, coming up with rewards, and constant “don’t be a baby” conversations that are going to great lengths to upset their DC.

I agree with you on that, which is why dummies (and bottles) should be gone when they are still actual babies and before they are old enough to have these conversations.

oakleaffy · 17/12/2024 01:08

imisscashmere · 16/12/2024 22:20

I can’t believe people allow children to keep dummies until they are 4.

What do you mean she “won’t give it up”? Just throw it in the bin.

They do look gormless on older children. {They look horrid at any age, to be fair}

MissRoseDurward · 17/12/2024 02:23

The decision to not pressure or lie or cause distress now to a toddler.....

A 4.5 yr old is not a toddler!

They do look gormless on older children. {They look horrid at any age, to be fair}

Quite agree. I once saw a wedding party being arranged for photos outside a venue. Little bridesmaid aged around 3, tootling around quite happily while the adults sorted themselves out, had a dummy. Why??? I did hope someone was going to remove it before the photos were taken.

albalass · 17/12/2024 03:17

I'd just get rid of it today. It will cause some upset I'm sure but I do things that upset my 4 year old all the time (brushing his teeth, giving him water instead of juice, making him hold my hand to cross the road, making him go to bed.....the list is endless!). But for me that's being his parent. I see it as short term pain for long term gain. Of course it would make my life easier at that moment if I let him have his way but in the long run that approach to parenting makes things much much more difficult. So yep, chuck the dummy today and it'll be forgotten about by Christmas.

Jk987 · 17/12/2024 07:38

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 16/12/2024 23:06

You throw them away....

Are you so weak that you can't nope with a 4yo kicking off for a bit?

So kind of you

Blueuggboots · 17/12/2024 08:11

What HAVE you tried?

Calliopespa · 17/12/2024 09:14

LoremIpsumCici · 16/12/2024 23:43

Yes, they can negatively affect baby teeth. The primary cause of crooked adult teeth is genetics, and 90% of people will have at least slightly crooked teeth. Thumb sucking is far more of a risk than a dummy. As a pp put it, people tend to wean themselves off things anyway, so imho pressure to take away a dummy is counterproductive imho. A child given autonomy will wean themself off.

The end result is the same- dummy gone by Early Years but without risking distressing your DC.

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I see what you are thinking about them only having baby teeth and about lots of people having crooked teeth or needing braces anyway, but I think what you aren’t fully factoring in is that there is orthodontic work and there is orthodontic work: not all braces are the same, or take the same length of time. Crooked teeth are quite different from things like overbites.

The problem with dummies is they can change the actual structure of the jaw. It’s isn’t just about crookedness. Needing to straighten a few teeth is a far less painful, drawn out and expensive task than needing to move a child’s jaw placement. Also having that out of alignment can affect the way a child deals with speech as it’s altering the placement of the organs of articulation .

LoremIpsumCici · 18/12/2024 11:19

Calliopespa · 17/12/2024 09:14

I see what you are thinking about them only having baby teeth and about lots of people having crooked teeth or needing braces anyway, but I think what you aren’t fully factoring in is that there is orthodontic work and there is orthodontic work: not all braces are the same, or take the same length of time. Crooked teeth are quite different from things like overbites.

The problem with dummies is they can change the actual structure of the jaw. It’s isn’t just about crookedness. Needing to straighten a few teeth is a far less painful, drawn out and expensive task than needing to move a child’s jaw placement. Also having that out of alignment can affect the way a child deals with speech as it’s altering the placement of the organs of articulation .

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The future risk of a dummy causing that is infinitesimal.
It’s not worth the cost of distressing a toddler today imho, when the toddler is likely to give up the dummy of their own accord long before that risk even comes into play.

I didn’t expect so much hostility from posters to my approach. It’s not as if I am advocating something that has even a moderate risk of life changing irreversible damage.

Yourethebeerthief · 18/12/2024 12:15

@LoremIpsumCici

People are baffled by your "fuck it just sort it with braces attitude"

I'd rather avoid my child needing braces. I don't know why you think the number of children needing them is so high. In any average school or high school only a fraction of kids will have braces.

MissRoseDurward · 18/12/2024 13:32

It’s not worth the cost of distressing a toddler today imho

The child in the op is not a toddler!

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 19/12/2024 20:57

LoremIpsumCici · 18/12/2024 11:19

The future risk of a dummy causing that is infinitesimal.
It’s not worth the cost of distressing a toddler today imho, when the toddler is likely to give up the dummy of their own accord long before that risk even comes into play.

I didn’t expect so much hostility from posters to my approach. It’s not as if I am advocating something that has even a moderate risk of life changing irreversible damage.

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What you are saying is quite literally bollocks!!

Why on earth would anyone knowingly cause damage that later needs to be fixed? Ludicrous!

Scorchio84 · 25/12/2024 07:12

I have a slight overbite & I know it was because I had my Dodee until I was 5

4.5 year old won't give up her dummy

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