4.5 year old won't give up her dummy

[TaraW20]

We have tried everything.

My DS gave his up very easy but we just can't find anything to help.

Any suggestions?

You've got to be taking the piss.

I know someone who still had a dummy as a teen, probably still does now. Obviously had it at that age, didn’t still suck on it other than the odd nostalgic go. Because people wean themselves off things the vast majority of the time. Perfectly functional, popular, happy teen with 3 other well adjusted siblings so parents clearly not useless.

I dunno OP, not sure I could get too stressed about this. I’d probably chuck all but one out and say it has to stay in her room but other than that go for it .

Our eldest was absolutely dummy obsessed and it was causing havoc as she'd wake up if one fell out, she'd scream if she couldn't find it etc so we binned them all and gave it a couple of days.
By day 3 she didn't mention it again.

Ok, this is getting pretty hostile. I took care of my DCs teeth. Their having braces was not caused by dummy’s. It’s not a choice of lie vs not take care of their teeth.

Your beliefs that dummy’s harm teeth that don’t even exist yet are engrained but I don’t think they are based on concrete evidence.

@LoremIpsumCici my DH is a dentist and I can promise you that there is concrete evidence that dummies negatively affect teeth.
There are literal studies on it.

Aren’t braces keeping your husband in work though? I was desperate for braces as a kid, sadly never needed them despite being a dummy user. So I genuinely don’t know if braces are the worst thing to experience? For all I know, as as parent I’d rather my child have a dummy and then need braces, rather than be miserable without a dummy and then not need braces? I want perfectly straight teeth now I’m an adult so wouldn’t have minded braces as a kid, plus braces are cool. Genuinely asking if needing braces is really the most terrible thing??

Yes, they can negatively affect baby teeth. The primary cause of crooked adult teeth is genetics, and 90% of people will have at least slightly crooked teeth. Thumb sucking is far more of a risk than a dummy. As a pp put it, people tend to wean themselves off things anyway, so imho pressure to take away a dummy is counterproductive imho. A child given autonomy will wean themself off.

The end result is the same- dummy gone by Early Years but without risking distressing your DC.

Educate yourself. Speak to any dentist.

My "beliefs" are, unlike yours, based on "concrete evidence"!!!!

It kind of is though: it gives them dental problems. It’s like thumb sucking.,

Braces aren't keeping the poster's husband in work rofl.

He's a dentist. Orthodontists do braces!!!

How much "distress" do you think it causes a child? Seriously?

It’s not bad at all to have braces, and 9 in 10 will need them anyway due to genetics even though the NHS is heavily rationing them to only the DC with the worst teeth. I’ve had them, my DH, my DC. It’s actually really good to correct even minor misalignments as it means better oral health for the rest of your life.

You know you are the parent right and can just take them and chuck them away? It’s gone on too long and now it will only get harder as time goes on.

I’m going by what pp have said their DCs’ reactions were on this thread.

I would far rather my child not have a dummy and not need braces. I think that's a no brainer.

I didn't use dummies because a) I hated the filthy things and b) I breastfed so my boob did the comfort thing.

I was really concerned when DC2 and then DC3 started thumbsucking - well actually DC3 did this really weird thing I can only describe as sucking two fingers backwards!! - and I was incredibly relieved when they both stopped unprompted!

Woah I’ve waded in without reading the braces feud first.
But I’ve no skin in the game (not a dentist and ours didn’t have them) but know plenty of dummy suckers who have needed massive dental work.
It’s not just a case of braces being “ cool.” It can give them speech impediments as well as cause jaw misalignment and even decay when teeth are too wonky to brush well, so it’s storing up a lot of potential problems.

I’d just take it away. If it were a cigar you’d do that and they’d cope. It’s the same approach.

It’s lower risk than thumb sucking, and even if it did happen, it can be corrected by braces which they’d likely need anyway. Besides, taking the pressure off doesn’t mean the child is doomed to be in Yr3 sucking on a dummy. They will likely wean themselves off it if you leave them alone about it long before it can affect any future teeth.

Even on the NHS you always have the option to go privately. It's not restricted to you and your "social circle"!!

I (and my "social circle" lol) would all have done that in a heartbeat had our children needed it.

I think 9 in 10 is wildly overstated, based on my children and their "social circle" and they went to a very middle class school that has rated very highly in the Sunday Times School of the Year on numerous occasions!

Well the odds are not in your favour that they won’t need braces, dummy use or no.

Evidence???

I didn't have to take dummies off mine because I didn't use them, even though the midwives in the hospital tried to persuade me with DC1 who was a very 'sucky' baby and nursed for hours for comfort!

But stupidly I did finally manage to get my breastfed first two onto bottles, after them furiously resisting them for months, and we had to go cold turkey on them in the end.

No 4 year old needs a dummy!!!

Yes, we went privately. The 9 in 10 isn’t based on anecdata, it’s a statistic as to the occurrence of misaligned adult teeth. Only 10% will naturally have perfect teeth.

We only got rid of my daughters dummy when it fell into the toilet and that was it. No more dummy and she was sooo attached to it but she was fine surprisingly

Er, how can she cling on to something that's been taken away?

Of course it's doing harm. Teeth, speech, social interactions, hygiene, the way she's going to be perceived by peers if they find out.

I think you will find the odds are or were in my favour, because not one of my three adult children ever needed braces and they all have lovely teeth with no fillings!!

It's probably not doing her teeth any good.
Chuck it out and be prepared for a few difficult bedtimes. She'll get over it.