What age to leave children

[StrawberryMirinda]

I would like to start dating again but I am a single parent. What age would you leave an older sibling to watch younger ones so
you can date? Younger children will be 10 and 7 what age would you say the oldest would need to be as a minimum? Just looking for general advice. It will be during the day/ evening not late at night or what age were your children if you were in this situation?

I wouldn't leave my 15 year old to look after my 12 year old.

Also think it's unfair leaving say an 18 year old to look after younger siblings as they are bound to play up. Unless your eldest doesn't mind and is responsible.

Mine was 14 when they were happy to be left alone for a few hours by themselves

Depends on the child really

Yes doesn’t mind and would rather that than a babysitter I think most teens would 🤣

I'd leave an 18yo in charge of two primary aged children. Or a 16yo in charge of one child.

Depends on the younger and older children. My brother would 'babysit' me from about 16. I was 12. Mum and dad would go out for a few hours of an evening occasionally. Generally home no later than 10:30pm

I’d say 14 if you’re out for a date at night for a few hours.

I'd leave a 15 year old and a 12 year old in the day for 2 hours providing they got on and were responsible and comfortable with it

If they're both sensible, I would say 14/15 for the oldest, so the youngest would be 10/11.

When you know, you'll know really. Depends a lot on the child. Some kids you know would be likely not to be sensible home alone, some older kids don't like to be home alone.

I think we first left ours for a bit afternoon/early evening for an hour or two when they were 12 and 9 partly expedited because we were still in lockdown at the time and DH and I totally needed some time together outside the house. 12yo was very mature and sensible, 9yo wasn't going to do anything daft, we told them what to do if there were various issues and we have neighbours we know and trust who they could go to in a real emergency, and we weren't going far away. Just for a walk or to a shop.

As I said, sometimes you'll just know because you'll be in a situation where you reorganise your whole afternoon/evening to prevent your child having to be alone for an hour in between one thing and another... or you realise you can leavr them to it and it will be fine. Obviously, you always check that is OK with them and they don't feel nervous and know what to do in an emergency.

15/16. Leaving them to date doesn't sit comfortably with me.

Why’s that? Or you think I should stay single till they are all adults?

Depends on the dynamics and how they treat each other- ie will the younger ones do what the older one says re going to bed/ snacks etc? Will the older one be nice to the younger ones?

I'll happily leave my 15 yo to look after the 5yo or 12yo for an hour or 2 during the day. But not both siblings at once. And not at a time of day they'd have to feed/bathe/put to bed.

So they literally just need to make sure they're safe playing/watching TV and get them out if there was an emergency. But 15yo is very mature and has had to deal with an emergency when out so I know they are very level-headed and could manage in an emergency.

Just recently started leaving my 12 yr old with my 16 yr old.

Yeah they get on ok so wouldn’t be a problem. Wouldn’t be out long enough for bedtime etc

If they get on well and 7 year old is a decent sleeper I'd trust a 14 year old or older.

I wouldn't go too far though and no longer than a few hours.

Depends on the kids for sure, but for mine probably 14/15 for the older one to be with two younger for a short time if they were all fairly sensible and got along.

15/16 for slightly longer.

14 or 15? I think it's a bit weird though that you are planning to use your older child so you can date and won't feel great to them or sound good if they tell anybody.
Would be better if you led up to it more naturally by leaving them when you go out to see friends/do a hobby class/go shopping/go to an exercise class etc.
Also if you start leaving them when you pop out for an hour or 2 you can easily assess how they manage and field the phone calls to resolve arguments etc or head home early if there is a problem.

But I'm wondering if this is some kind of reverse and you are judging a family member/ex?

no it's not but i already leave them to do shopping occasionally but not for as long.

just to add they wouldn't know it was to date im just mentioning it on here for context! i already leave them to nip to the shop etc just feel guilty i suppose doing something for myself

Yeah would only be local. I had an age in mind so just wondered what others thought.

I have a 14 and a 13 year old. I've left either of them on their own for an hour or two from age 10-11 (school year 6) but not together until recently. Even then, that's more because I'm expecting them to act independently rather than expect the older one to 'look after' the younger one. At this age, I still wouldn't leave them for more than a couple of hours together (high chance of them falling out / power struggles), but would leave either all day if alone. I wouldn't leave either of them in the evening beyond their bedtime.

I'd go for 14&11 would be fine.

Remember you'll always get a few batshit outliers on mumsnet, like the first post, but it's perfectly normal for a 14 yr old (even 13) to babysit other people's kids for money.

Or whenever you're youngest is on a play date you could probably go now for an hour or two.

Oh I read it wrong, you already have an older child. I missed that. How old is she? If rheyre 14 plus, I'd start now.

Genuinely. If you can't leave a 15 yr old and a 12yr old in the house on their own, I think you need to start working on helping them grow up. This is so so far behind their peers. Most parents are back full time work once their kids are in secondary, so from 11 is the norm to walk home from school alone, let yourself in and be home alone for a few hours.