How do you (and indeed can you) stop little girls becoming "mini-whores in pink and tinsel"

[snickersnack]

I have never come across Miley Cyrus before this Vanity Fair fuss - as the parent of a 3 year old dd I've been spared that for now. But reading Germaine Greer in today's Guardian on the commercialisation/sexualisation of childhood got me wondering about the way she's already turning into a super-girly, pink-obsessed princess. I am pretty sure it's nothing I've encouraged actively - when I look in her wardrobe there's a lot of non-pink stuff there (mostly unworn), she has cars (mostly unplayed with) and I try and remind her regularly that it's not all about being pretty (though I'm not winning that battle).

How do you, as a parent of a young girl, teach them to be feisty and brave and bothered about important stuff? And not a fluffy pink fluffle of a thing.

That's dd who is turning into a super-girly, pink-obsessed princess, not Germaine Greer

I do not find little girls wanting to dress up in pink and tinsel disturbing. I find the link between this and the phrase 'mini-whores' incredibly disturbing.

Dunno, my 18 month old DD has turned into Fireman Sam

Yeah, that's so much better. She keeps holding a straw between her legs, waggling it and yelling 'hose, hose'.

She can wear pink and be pretty and obsessed with princesses and still become a well rounded, grounded, motivated young woman.

Surround her with positive female role models.

My dd is the pinkest, glittery-est (sp??) princess going, but she can stand up for herself, argue her corner (with amazing eruditeness at times) and she will be exposed to the important stuff... via me and dh and her brother. After that the choice is hers.

both mine are into pink and fairy ballerinas and princess stuff

no mini whores in this house however

I can't stand GG however so I will leave you to wring your hands in peace

What annoys me is shops making everything for girls pink. Boys have the whole rest of the colour palette.

I do feel like it is anti-feminist in some way. Why should a girl need to be pretty or princessy? It's so dull.

Mine loves pink, poo jokes, fairy princesses, climbing trees, sparkly gewgaws, and playing monsters with her big brother. She has a tongue like a sacking needle and can outrun big boys.
I just let her be herself. That way she is likely to grow up knowing her own mind. I've got no time for "girly" stuff personally, so it's not readily available or especially encouraged.
Big tip - if you have Sky, ditch it. Freeview is mercifully devoid of Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Dd watches Raven instead.

I am with you. I used exactly that language when I went shoe shopping for my 18 mo at the weekend. Even in John Lewis which is pretty conservative, all the girls' shoes struck me as foul. ALL pink and all doused in glitter. My DD is too young to know that pink is supposed to be her colour or that glitter is good so more glitter is better. They were baby hooker shoes, quite frankly.

I undercut all that where I can. To date I have bought her boys' shoes - plain blue ones that go with the jeans she often wears.

I really don't want her to be the sort of girl who will only go to a fancy dress party dressed as a princess or a fairy. I have a picture of me and my sisters dressed up for a party - I am a flamenco dancer, my sister is a witch and little sister is a red indian squaw. You rarely see that these days.

I also don't think I recall a single photo of any of us wearing pink. We wore a whole range of pretty clothes but not pink particularly. I went to a soft play centre yesterday and every single girl (and I mean every single one out of probably 40 girls) was wearing pink. What the hell is going on? Pink is a nice colour but it is now absolutely compulsory for girls.

I despise what we are allowing to be done to our children. Of course they like it - they are being furiously marketed at and it's bloody well working.

Sorry snickersnack, in my little flounce about the term mini-whores, I totally ignored the point of your OP.

I'v found that although we praise DD for being clever, kind, funny, thoughtful, brave, orginal, creative etc, it is the 'oh you look beautiful' comments that she seems to respond to at the moment. I'm sure there's a well-respected theory about the development of body image that will confirm that this is a common stage at 3, so I'm going on the vague notion that in continuing to offer rounded, varied praise she will become secure that she is beautiful and will then turn her attention to less superficial ideals!

But then again, is wanting to be thought beautiful necessarily superficial? How many style threads do we have?

I think that's human nature AFM. I'm sure sometimes Stephen Hawking would like to be told he's handsome instead of hearing how brainy he is, yet again.

We are all programmed to respond to beauty, I think. Not just little girls. But the issue is heightened for all girls/women because that's what they are supposed to do/be.

My DD wears lots of green and lots of pink. She likes pink. She has always been active and a bit of a tomboy. Until she hit 4 when she is becoming more aware of pink princesses amd fairies. Nothing I have done to encourage or discourage this but she was bought lots of girls toys for her birthday from her friends.

She has a trainset, cars, and lego - doesnt play with them. She doesnt play with her baby dolls either.

I can see that when she goes to school she will become much more influenced by her peers but I think that as long as you allow your daughter to have her own opinions and to have choices then she will know there are alternatives.

If you have a daughter who wants to be a pink princess then dont squash that desire as she may not voice when she wants to be a superhero or a pirate for fear of what you might say.

DD1 is pink/glitter/princess/fairy obsesed child, hates getting dirty in garden and is rather 'precious' about what she'll play with (paly kitchen/dolls house etc) she would choose pink clothes every day of teh week and ideally one of her princess dressing up dresses

dd2 looks fab in red and green so wears lots of that, loves being dirty (actually given half a chance she whips her clothes/nappy off and prefers nakedness to clothes ),mushing around in the soil in the garden etc with hair flapping everywhere and her favourite toy is a play garage and cars, but i am under no illusion that this may change but am enjoying having my little tomboy at the mo

Not sure how they are so different but DD1 is such a stereo typical 'girl'

As the mother of a son - and one who hopes to one day have a daughter - I have to say I LOVE pink but get sick to death of seeing it on little girls. Whenever I see a girl in any other colour she stands out to me as pretty and interesting looking. I have also experienced soft play places, parks, restaurants, shops etc where its all pink pink pink. Come on!! Girls can wear GREEN black brown blue whatever. I hope I have a daughter one day and I hope I can find interesting clothes for her.

Yes, role models are key, I agree. Dd has me, who ain't fluffy; and her godmothers, who are feist incarnate (sorry I know some people don't like "feisty", but for these particular women it just belongs, in a big-personality celebratory way); and an extended family full of bluestockings.

Big brothers definitely help - but if there are no big brothers available, nice-older-boy sparring partners (cousins?) could be sourced?

But actually, more than anything, it's JOKES. Show me a piffly trivial self-obsessed princess with a robust sense of humour & I'll show you a jet-propelled piggy.

(And before anyone jumps saying their daughter who likes pink has a great big sense of humour - that's exactly my point - if they have the sense of humour they are massively less likely to end up as trivial/self-obsessed etc. And a lot more fun as teenagers.)

Good point Bink!

Being pretty is one thing - of course its nice, although I'd hate to think this is how my daughter values herself - but pretty equalling pink is another.

I'm sure this was not the way when we were younger.

Narrowing girls' choices at such a young age about who they are, what they like, what they want to be etc is just so depressing to me.

I dont hate pink. For the record. I just want more variety in girls clothes. All pink is boring.

I agree with margoandjerry. ALl this 'pink for a girl' stuff wasn't around in the 70s when I was a kid. You don't see it in the photos - even with big groups of kids. It's almost impossible to avoid now. I find it pretty horrible especially as I don't think I've bought more than one or two things for DD. And everything that has been bought for her - almost - is pink. Thankfully it suits her.

I haven't got a clue how you bring up girls not to be bothered about this stuff. I do know that I was absolutely crazy-mad for all the horrible dolls on the market when I was little. I was bought a couple of them and I have always thought of myself as a feminist since I've thought about these things. Must have been the influence of my mum and dad! I'm sure this wins out in the end.

Agree with eenybeeny. I quite like pink now and again. But why pink shoes? and pink tights? and pink hair accessories?

I bought my DD a pair of yellow shoes in JL at the weekend. Of course the manufacturers couldn't resist a little pink butterfly on the side

In fact I'm going to make a blanket statement. Shoes should not be pink. It's not practical and it really only goes with pink so it means you can't wear green, or yellow or orange or whatever. Let's ban pink shoes! Let's start from the ground up! Rah.

I'd say that she can look pretty in all sorts of things, not just pink, and have some suggestions ready. Get her to try them on and tell her how gorgeous she looks, and get her Daddy to say so too - even little girls take compliments from men much more seriously.

Encourage her interests in anything not specifically girly - particularly sport, which is a great antidote to pink.

DD1 wasn't interested in "girly" stuff until last summer, at 2.5. One day she saw a pink sunhat and it all started from there. She loves pink now. She plays with DS's toys too and we didn't buy her girl-specific toys until she asked for them. I don't over-analyse it, though, I like pink too and I have lots of pink tops etc.

There is lots of pink about but there are lots of other colours too. I went around ASDA the other day and mostly the girls clothes were Green, Orange and yellow for the summer.

Often people buying clothes as gifts get pink as that is what they think is the standard. I dont think a 4 year old wearing pink will become a tart/whore or whatever.

I see girls on the way home from school who must be 10-11 and I am worried about the shoes they wear which are totally impractical for school, and they have very grown up hair cuts etc. This worries me much more as it is harder to tell the difference between a 12 and 16 year old girl these days which obviously has implications with reference to sexual maturity.

Bet you don't wear your pink tops with pink tights, pink shoes and pink sparkly hair accessories though cristina....

Or maybe you do in which case, you go pink lady

And btw my DD has PINK glasses!