How do you (and indeed can you) stop little girls becoming "mini-whores in pink and tinsel"

[snickersnack]

I have never come across Miley Cyrus before this Vanity Fair fuss - as the parent of a 3 year old dd I've been spared that for now. But reading Germaine Greer in today's Guardian on the commercialisation/sexualisation of childhood got me wondering about the way she's already turning into a super-girly, pink-obsessed princess. I am pretty sure it's nothing I've encouraged actively - when I look in her wardrobe there's a lot of non-pink stuff there (mostly unworn), she has cars (mostly unplayed with) and I try and remind her regularly that it's not all about being pretty (though I'm not winning that battle).

How do you, as a parent of a young girl, teach them to be feisty and brave and bothered about important stuff? And not a fluffy pink fluffle of a thing.

Do whores wear a lot of pink and tinsel then?

Yes i agree staranise - there is certainly more of it (general pink and fluffiness) about. But thankfully there are still alternatives out there

Someone bought my DD a Princess Pippa book and I really hate it. Princess Pippa puts on a pretty dress and the handsome prince asks her to dance. And ummm. That's it.

Traditional fairy tales are hardly feminist but at least cinderella had some battles to overcome (stepmother, evil sisters, pumpkins appearing at the wrong time etc etc). It's really pathetic and is heading towards the bin....

I'm quite happy for her to wear pink and read about princesses as long as the pinkness and the princessness is not the be all and end all of the story.

there are some nice clothes around for little girls now.i find it difficult to get clothes for dd1 though as she is tall and in 12-13 size which tend to be mini adult clothes and not really suitable for a 9 year old.boden is well out of my price range!

Message withdrawn

dd1's favourite book when she was 4 was 'princess smarty pants' by babette cole.

wrong shade of pink then diva! Does it have orange undertones?

My pet hate is Felicity Wishes

Fairies (all female) have their hair done, go dress-shopping, buy cakes and then have a pink party. And it's DD1's favourite.

Luckily DD2 loves 'The runaway dinner' - massively recommend this to everyone, it's quite peculiar and very entertaining and no pink anywhere. And the main character is called Banjo for no particular reason

Boden ahs a sale on right now

If you're worrying about the girliness of girls, have a look at the 'What to get a 2 yr old boy' thread - trucks, tools, cars etc.

Maybe we're all guilty of it,but worry about boys less?

yes,i would say its a sort of yucky orangey pink.it will be gone in the summer thankfully!

good book

I may have just been lucky but I haven't actually found it that difficult, as a feminist mother of 3 small girls, to not sink into a bog of pink fluffy princessism. It's barely been an issue. I tend to avoid buying things which are too pink, or too plasticky, or too princessy (republican household we don't do royalty). And though my girls have many flaws they are certainly not pink fluffy dainty fluffles.

dd3 is the only one who's ever had a pink princess phase, she's in it now, at just 4, but I can't see it lasting with two big sisters who scorn pink and princesses and prefer to dress up as spies or pirates or tigers.

H&M is the best for non-pink, IMO. But it doesn't seem to me to be that hard to find non-pink clothes and shoes and books which aren't Rainbow Fairies or Felicity wishes.

I made a major effort not to go down the glittery/ pink route but it is incredibly hard and role models are hard to come by. As girls get older it becomes more difficult to find comfortable practical clothes for them unless you go to boys deprtament and I don't want DDs to think it's either sludge or pink... H&M girls stuff up to age 8 is fine but look at 8-14 t'shirts, hoodies etc.. the last shopping trip with DD1 was awful: she doesn't want clingy, glittery tops but I don't want boys things as she gets older but we ended up with M&S white t-shirt boys vests... less clingy than girls t-shirts ffs!

DD3 loves pink/ pretty stuff but even she's restricted because she's moved into "older girl" category.

And of course there's good children's literature but a 6 year old moving into "proper books" either has the fairy series or Horrid Henry to choose from when it comes to display stands... we've done Spy Dog/ Roddy Doyle... even obviously strong women write books with boys as heroes: harry P, Lion Boy... at least when I was 11 my mum bought me fairy tales for feminists where the princess went off and set up a business and ate chocolate happily ever after..

Seriously Mumsnet HQ: ask Clarks why their shoes/ boots for girls offer no choice

I think the problem is it's not too hard for us to find non-pink stuff if we look, but for our daughters (who are easliy seduced), and for people buying presents (who want an easy, safe option) pink is far too prevalent.

yes, but what annoys me is not what we choose to buy - that seems fairly straightforward give or take the odd pair of pink shoes (and i'm not that averse to pink) but in terms of what is bought for them or marketed at them.

Neither of my DDs are that girly themselves but seem to have it foisted upon them. Can't remember the last girl's birthday party I went to that didn't have a princess or fairy theme (normally Disney) complete with pink party bag/birthday cake etc etc

Don't get me wrong, I don't have sleepless nights over pink and Princess Aurora, it's just that, having two pre-school girls has been a bit of an eye-opener as to what their tastes are expected to be.

We moved from Spain a couple of years ago and young girls are just not marketed to in the same way over there.

I haven't had to find clothes for the over 8s yet, my dds are smaller/younger than that.

But on the books, there are lots of good threads with ideas of books for children learning to read. Two of mine can read and they don't have any Rainbow Fairies or similar. We do have some Horrid Henry though. And hundreds of other suitable books which aren't desperately gendered.

Actually it is a good point. MN HQ - those companies love marketing to us. Can we have a forum with them to tell them what we really want? Like you have chat thingies with David Cameron and whatnot.

Start rite just as bad atm.

I was quite disturbed by this article today (I have a 2.7 year old girl who has refused to wear anything but dresses for the past few months and wants to be Cinderella at least once a day. Mercifully keen on trains though.).

Did noone else think though that this "mini-whores" thing might be the wrong way round? That pink stuff and sparkles might be more natural territory for little girls than it is for grown women. I'm inclined to think it's the whores who are imitating little girls more than little girls imitating whores. I'm not sure which is more worrying.

I second third and fourth the comments about Clarks shoes - where is the choice? At my daughters size (11) it is pink party shoes, black school shoes and white trainers. And er, that's it.

I think you have a point IorekB - thinking of eg, Jordan's pink crystal obsession.

But that doesn't explain how the strong association with little girls and pink is so recent (last ten-twenty years?)

(off the topic but hatrick, what was your old nmae? Lockets?)

I disagree with posters who say it's not hard to find non-pink/ glittery girls' clothes and it's not just the pink: it's the glitter and the slogans and the shapes... I was not a skinny 10 year old but had no problem in finding t-shirts that didn't cling yet my similarly shaped daughter either wears 29" boys t shirts or 34" (! honestly!) girls ones... of course some 11 year olds are teen-agers inthe making but plenty more just want clothes to wear but they aren't being catered for.

Du Pareil au Meme has lovely girls' clothes but not sure if they have shops in UK (I live in Dublin)

Also, any advice on how to deal with 9 year old girl who happily plays with boys in school but is considered a bit odd not to wantto discuss High School Musical with the girls... we've done the "be yourself" line but she wants to fit in with the girls a bit too

Does your dh still post?
(I can't keep up with you young modern things)