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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you recommend 3 children?

64 replies

estobi1 · 26/04/2008 21:20

I am a mum of a three year old and 6 month old baby and I would love another baby. I only ever expected to have two and was so convinced I joked about having a hysterectomy after baby number 2 was born. I keep thinking to myself wait and see how things go, you will probably change your mind as things get harder but so far I still feel that I want another one. Is it just because I can't accept that this is my last baby? I feel guilty about the fact that my existing children would have to share my time and think that I should just enjoy the two lovely children I have got ( I can say that because they are asleep!) However the urge to have another child is biologically really strong - it is a physical yearning.

Did anyone else experience this? Is having 3 or 4 really difficult? Will this feeling go away or will it be something I just have to live with.

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lilyloo · 26/04/2008 21:22

my no.3 is 13 weeks old and she is a dream baby, however i am trying desperately to savour every moment she is small as i know realistically she is my last but that doesn't stop me already missing the new born stage and pg etc. think that is something i will have to live with.

Original poster

estobi1 · 26/04/2008 21:25

its so hard isn't it but like you say your have to savour every moment - I just keep finding that i had forgotten how good every stage can be, even though I am sleep deprived and have a barrel belly!

OP posts:

milkymill · 26/04/2008 21:37

You have a 3 year old at the moment and you actually want to make another one of those!!? . I shudder at the mere tohught of going through the threeenager phase again!

(Sorry - bad day)

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expatinscotland · 26/04/2008 21:38

you have to do what you feel is best for you and yours in your heart of hearts and in your mind.

and remeber that things can always be more difficult.

KerryMum · 26/04/2008 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

collision · 26/04/2008 21:41

oooh no, 2 is more than enough for me!

I adore my boys but the thought of a third sends a chill down my spine!

2 of my SIL's have just had their third and it was a shock to both of them as neither of them had planned to have a third. one had just got her 5 yr old to school and the other has a 5 year old and a 17m old so is really struggling.

If it is in you to have a third then go for it as I am not sure that the feeling ever goes away and you might always feel bereft of having a third.

For me though it is a NO!!

StressTeddy · 26/04/2008 21:42

Couldn't contemplate 3. 1 is more than enough for me. Stick at 2 and keep your sanity!!

Seriously, if you want 3 then have 3

Janni · 26/04/2008 22:11

three (or more) means that without a serious support system, you and DP are running a creche rather than continuing your love affair. Be very sure it's what you want..

lilyloo · 26/04/2008 22:26

fwiw there is 3 years between each of my 3 so guess that makes it a bit easier i would def wait until at least one at school.

cba · 26/04/2008 22:30

i have three, 7,5, and 3 years old, so when youngest was born all under 4. no support network to speak of. back to nursery run day after coming out of hospital.

just be prepared, i would love another

perpetualworrier · 26/04/2008 22:46

My MIL thinks 3 is "wicked" as one always gets left out. She also thinks one is wicked. 2 is the only way to go. Guess how many she had? She's completely mad BTW.

Janni · 26/04/2008 22:50

LOL @ wicked.

MILs - dontcha love'em. What would she say to 4?

Spidermama · 26/04/2008 22:53

I always wanted an even number. If you have three that means a family of five and that means there'll always be a space at the dinner table. (Unless you have a round table. )

I wasn't happy with the space. It stared at me like Banquo's ghost. So I had a fourth and now I have table symmetry.

It also means you can divide food and things better.

lilyloo · 26/04/2008 22:53

LOL at table symmetry

bluenosesaint · 26/04/2008 22:55

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!! - 3 is great! ...most of the time

emkana · 26/04/2008 22:55

I don't want to be too sombre, but I had a third thinking he/she would just "slot in". But I had a nightmare pregnancy and a very difficult first year with ds (health-wise), and it's only now that things are getting easier. So just be aware that things might not go smoothly!

cheesesarnie · 26/04/2008 22:56

i would recommend!i want a fourth!

bluenosesaint · 26/04/2008 22:56

LMAO at "table symmetry"

WendyWeber · 26/04/2008 22:57

Most cars are designed for 5 of course, and I bet families spend more time in the car than round the table

Sharing your time matters less, because they have each other's time instead, estobi - and your attention and anxiety is divided by 3, not 2, which is less concentrated and much better for them - go on, do it, you know you want to!

WendyWeber · 26/04/2008 22:58

(I've got 4 by the way. And an oval table )

eenybeeny · 26/04/2008 22:59

LOVE the table symmetry! Will put that argument to DH!

hugeheadofhair · 26/04/2008 23:02

I found one a lot of work, but then I had no. 2. Two was a lot of work, but not necessarily more, because you get used to it, and learn how to deal with things. On the occasions when I had only one child to deal with, it was a doddle, which I'm sure I wouldn't have found if I had stuck with just the one. Now I have three, and it's a lot of work again. But guess what, on the occasions when I have only two children to look after, it's a doddle!

Lesson learnt: it's all relative and you'll learn to cope with three (or four). And it's always a lot of work, however many you have!

Follow your heart, and if I listen to you carefully, you want that third baby!

Best of luck

cheesesarnie · 26/04/2008 23:04

i need a 4th to make table look better

bluewolf · 26/04/2008 23:04

Did you say whether the 2 you have are boys or girls or one of each? I have 1 ds and 1 dd - can't have any more because then one of the genders would out-voted and there would be anarchy

Ledodgy · 26/04/2008 23:06

Do it it's fab honestly we were stopping at two and a year ago today I found out I was preganant with a suprise dc, he was 16 weeks old on Thursday and I wouldn't be without him. I like to tell him often that he's the best suprise i've ever had.

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