Would you recommend 3 children?

[estobi1]

I am a mum of a three year old and 6 month old baby and I would love another baby. I only ever expected to have two and was so convinced I joked about having a hysterectomy after baby number 2 was born. I keep thinking to myself wait and see how things go, you will probably change your mind as things get harder but so far I still feel that I want another one. Is it just because I can't accept that this is my last baby? I feel guilty about the fact that my existing children would have to share my time and think that I should just enjoy the two lovely children I have got ( I can say that because they are asleep!) However the urge to have another child is biologically really strong - it is a physical yearning.

Did anyone else experience this? Is having 3 or 4 really difficult? Will this feeling go away or will it be something I just have to live with.

Three is hard work - but saying that I absolutely adore all 3 and do not regret having number 3. They are all so different.

The thing I find difficult is :-

child care (cost a fortune plus its very difficult to get someone to actually want to look after all 3 while you go out for an evening once in a blue moon!)

cars and car seats (not always accessible in a normal car)

At the moment thats all I can think of, oh yes just thought of something else, its another one that could get ill! - don't like it when DDs get ill!

OH yes, however many you have, when one is absent (any one, it matters not) the remainder is a doddle (and much easier than when that number was all you had)

(Wendyweber's Theory of Child Relativity)

OOOOOh could I? But I've only got 2 hands!

yes but good bits outweigh things like carseats etc.2 or 3 same difference!

I'm ttcing #4 so I'd never recommend stopping at 2!

I knew a family who had 6 kids

boy
girl
boy
girl
boy
girl

All 18 months apart.

WHO THE HELL COULD PLAN THAT??? Please I really want to know how you go about doing that.

they give you spare hands and eyes to put in the back of your head in your hospital bounty pack when you get onto 3rd.

eenybeeny-wow!!!

I should be able to answer your question in October{grin] at the moment I veer between v happy and cacking myself...

bigmouth do you like smiths? slight hijack.

yes it is true about that family. I knew them very well. Bizarre. Mum was really gorgeous and slim and had a perfect house.

How did you guess Eeny

I should clarify i am due no. 3 in oct so I can answer op question. I can only boggle at the ability to have such gaps between 6 kids!

Though my mum managed exactly 3 and a half years each between me my sis and bro.

bigmouth i am psychic! cant you tell?

hmmm well some people are just blessed in the uterus department arent they. I am just damn happy I talked DH into DC2.

well I recommend FIVE actually!!

And we're all going to listen to someone whose 5 have driven her to call herself psychomum

(only kidding - I'm sure they're lovely)

Pmsl WW you are so right! Mil has ds1 and picks dd up from school on a Thursday thus leaving me with ds2 all day and I call it my day off. When I just had dd (pfb) to look after I would never have considered it a day off but when you have three, one is a piece of piss!

I would recommend 3. They were quite simply meant to be., No question. Just ov'ed and dh is having the snip next month. 4 was always out of the question and now is quite literally out of question. Odd isn't it. Both of us just knew what we wanted.

I felt the same way as you - it was like my second child made me clucky for a third the moment he was born. I was so much more relaxed the 2nd time around and parenting was a joy. I knew it would take a bit to bring DH around so I didn't bang on about it but ... DC3 due in 4 weeks and I couldn't be more excited - there will be a 2 yrs 11mths gap between DS2 and DD1 and DS1 to DD1 will be 5.5years. My mum wants me to have 4 but I have just turned 39 and I'm not completely mad .

A few things I think about are - with extended families not so close any more (and half of mine being on the other side of the plantet) than having siblings is even more important - especially when you have only started your family in your 30's.

Also - half jokingly, if one sibling doesn't get on with the other than hopefully they will get on with the 3rd one. I am estranged from my only brother and thankfully my Dad provided me with a half-sister. DH jokes it is an insurance policy against something happening to one of them.

Re the 'middle child' syndrome I think that forewarned is forearmed so hopefully will be able to avoid it and feel a bit more relaxed have two sons first and then a daughter - if they were all the same sex then I think it is more risky.

Regarding the extra work, I am thankful that DH is very hands on - mostly on weekends and that we can afford cleaners and other domestic assistance.

I think you have to go with your instincts - I didn't want to look back and have regrets for what might have been. HTH

Hello, AussieSim - long time no see!

(ex-JanH, dunno why I remember you but I do, you used to live in Germany???)

Good luck with DC3's birth in 4 weeks as well, hadn't read your post properly before )

I felt exactly as you do.I sold loads of baby things on Ebay, gave clothes away, then realised I wasn't finished having babies. I'm expecting number three in November, and will have three under four. It's going to be mad,but I'm really excited. Two (one of each) just felt too neat for me. I am only allowed three, that is the limit, I've Been Told.We have had to get a loan for a new car, though.

I have 3 and think it's great, despite not having round table... 2 is too few imho: there's one for each parent and they only ever have each other to spark off and sibling rivalry can be v. intense. If you have 3, they constantly adjust to each other and have to be considerate of ever changing dynamics. I also think it's a bit odd to have the same no. of kids as adults: surely there should be more of them than us? I had 3 in 4 years and they are great friends and there is a real sense of a gang of them versus 2 of us so we can safely ignore them and do coupley stuff. There are downsides (difficult to have 3 looked after at short notice and lots of holidays predicated on 2+2). More than 3 is another ball park altogether and all I know is that you need a lot of time and energy for each one and I was too busy to consider a 4th at a time when I might have had one and now it's too late... I'm wistful rather than regretful

Very reassuring, pofaced. I think buying the big tent did it for us. There is a nice double room and then quite clearly room for three sleeping bags next door!

3 can be hard when you are alone and they are all young and crying or fighting..but then one or 2 can be hard in the same situation. I have a 4.6yr old ds, 2.4yr old dd1 and 15mth old DD2 and in a month or so we are going to start ttc no.4. I love having a big family, I like the noise, the way they play together and rallying the troops so to speak.There are more good days than bad days, from sept one of mine will be in full time school which will actually make the house feel slightly empty as it already does for the 2hrs a morning he is in nursery.

We have three, and while I love them all sooo so much, I have to admit I do find it incredibly hard most of the time sometimes. I never feel I'm giving quite enough attention to any of them The youngest two have an age gap of 23 months, so were both very, very needy (not the right word..) at the same time; I think it will get easier..