School readiness check - behind

[secondeleventh]

Just received the school readiness check (DS starts in September 2025) and it does seem he’s quite behind where he should be in some areas, mostly social / communication and fine motor.

My main question is regarding what happens next, is this information shared with the school he will go to, or is it just sort of hanging out there?

We didn't receive one of these so I have just googled. DD is now in y3. Things on the list I found that she couldn't do everting reception

Knife and fork
Buttons and zips
Get dressed without help

She's now in year 3 and fine, honestly some of those tasks are hard for little fingers. She still takes time with buttons tbh

Don't worry about it but do try and make sure they have toiletting confidently covered and teach them to ask for help on anything if needed

This must be new or only in certains areas. He has nearly a year to get ready for school so don’t panic.

What is you need to help him work on?

School will want him to be able to do all of these and will ask closer to the time what he can do/what he needs help with.

Focus on independence and confidence between now and school.

do you encourage them to put on own shoes/coat/open foods and containers themselves/try to climb the slide themselves/open the door/ get down/up from chairs/answer on behalf of your child etc.

it’s astounding how many parents do all these type of things without even thinking. If you constantly do everything for your child, not only do they not learn the skills themselves, they have no desire to try nor will they experience the sense of achievement/realise their own abilities.

He doesn’t understand questions, so we were asked to name three foods or what do
you do when you’re tired and he didn’t understand.

Does he understand these things in everyday life? Or was this just during the assessment? Did the person testing allow extra processing time? Eg 10 seconds after asking?
maybe test him out at home to see the level of understanding, ask him questions without giving any contextual clues and see how he gets on, don’t make a thing of it, just do it during play. Eg playing with animals/mini figures “oh the cow is tired, what should he do? At snack time/dinner time, “what should we have for our snack? What else could we have? What’s your favourite fruit? Etc etc. this way you can assess and if you think there is an issue get on to speech and language for a referral.
it may just be that he was a bit stumped with a random asking him question out of the blue!

Making three foods is a task not a question and you’re asking. If you ask if he would like an apple or a banana or which colour brick he wants next or what animal is in the field can he give an answer?

Did he have a 3 year check by the HV?

It was at home @hockityponktas - that was one example but there were a few questions of that sort, asking him to name friends and he couldn’t (although I know he has friends and knows their names.)

@Spendingtoomuchonfood yes he can but that’s not what the questions said.

So was it you asking the questions or someone else?

Yes, it was me.

Is this a questionnaire in readiness for an appointment?
if you feel he definitely doesn’t understand these type of questions yet, I would seek a referral to speech and language.
You can do this through HV or GP.
are there any other indications that his social communication is not quite where it should be?

It’s the standard sort of questionnaires - I think they have them at ten months, twelve months, two and now we’ve had this one at four and school readiness

Ideally we’d just have a referral for speech and language but realistically it will be years before anyone sees him

I think what I want and need as a parent is firstly to establish what the problem is. He can talk but I’ve always been unsure of his understanding.

The areas on school readiness he struggles with are

• he can’t answer the question grouping things together eg name three animals, name three foods. (He can tell you that’s a cow, that’s a potato etc, the problem is very much the understanding of the question.)
• as above can’t name friends although he does have friends and knows their names - he just doesn’t appear to understand what you mean if you say who are your friends at nursery, who do you play with.
• can’t draw a picture
• can’t do a puzzle
• can’t do buttons (but I’m aware that’s probably a tricky one for a few of them.)

Have you got the questions? I would go through them yourself to see what gaps there are. Be honest with yourself.

My shy dd would not have answered a stranger at 3 even if she knew the answers so it could be that. It could be there is a real concern that needs to be worked on.

I would expect there to be some gaps though with nearly a year to go. You can practice getting dressed etc. My youngest had a slight speech issue and this improved hugely in the year before school.

However If there are major communication needs/your child can't understand basic questions then I would suggest you investigate those further.

I think the first step would be to get a referral in place, it may be a wait but at least that way you’re on the list?

without a professional assessing, it would be difficult to know what is causing the issues you state. You could ask for a referral to the community pediatrician too?

another option would be to go private.

it may just be something that he will learn in time and there may not be a problem as such. At least if you are asking for a referral now, you are on the pathway of it is something he isn’t going to grow out of.

Forgot to ask, did you have concerns before the questionnaire?

If he struggles with understanding you definitely need a speech and language referral, even if it does take years. Would you rather have an 8 year old struggling at school with no hope for any change, or an 8 year old struggling at school about to embark on S and L therapy?

@HateThese4Leggedbeasts - I filled it in at home with DS.

I have filled in the gaps above I think … it’s a combination of social and communication and problem solving / fine motor. Gross motor seems OK.

He has the proper appointment with the HV in two weeks but to be honest I doubt anything will come of it.

The difference between now and next September will be huge. My dtds were still having 2 hour naps in the July before school. You will see him come on leaps and bounds over the next few months and the check list gives you a framework to aim for. Don’t stress about it, just see it as a helpful guide.

a dc who is 5 on 2nd sept will be hugely different to a dc who turns 5 the following August, with a mix in between.

@titchy no need to be sarcastic. My point was more that there’s no point waiting till eight if he needs it now, we’ll have to pay for private but that would involve debt so before I fork out I need to know exactly what he needs.

I didn’t have concerns as such, I’ve worried and fretted about DS since birth really but always end up being told I’m worrying about nothing.

He’s four next month @TeenLifeMum - he is one of the slightly older ones.

The list being given now gives you 9 months to prepare him.

Essentials are dressing themselves in whatever the uniform is including whatever shoes are used for sports (so putting foot in and out and doing Velcro these days, was laces when I was at infants!) then feeding themselves including cutting meat if applicable so using a knife and fork, age three is a perfect age to introduce a knife with simple to cut foods like fish fingers at first, nobody expects them to use a steak knife.

The grouping thing I wouldn't worry yet, try again after Christmas when he's not tired. One of mine didn't have meaningful language and the other only single words at 3, both graduated university. They develop skills at different paces

Ime, boys can take longer in some areas like fine motor skills because they want to run around a lot. Look up some toys that will develop these skills without making it a chore.

my bil is a primary teacher and 70% of children at his primary new intake this year weren’t toilet trained. That’s a huge one to crack. I also remember my DD’s class were terrible at changing for pe and the teacher had to use pe time for them to change into pe kit and back to uniform because it took them an hour. Dd was so frustrated (she was a speedy dresser - one of three including being a twin so was naturally independent due to my lack of hands) she started helping others dress after she was ready because she wanted to actually do pe.

However, she couldn’t read a word or write at all. She’s now 13 and doing really well.

Thanks. Toileting is not too bad but I do think he probably has more accidents than many children his age, he just doesn’t always say when he needs to go. It is hard not to fret. I can’t imagine him being able to put his own shoes on any time soon either.

When you say he can’t draw a picture - can he mark make and tell you what it is?
if you ask him to name his favourite food can he do that?
I would agree that, at nearly 4, he is behind where school would hope him to be. But he still has nearly a year before he actually goes. So there is time for a lot to change.