Need advice.

[coco111]

My son has just turnt 5. From the age of 2 he has been stimming. At first I kind of turnt a blind eye to it until one day his nursery called me in and said they noticed it. Until he was 4 I kind of thought it was a phase until he started school nursery and they called me in and mentioned it. He was then referred for an assessment. They said they weren't concerned and discharged him. Since then it has got progressively worse. He is constantly stimming. Today for instance I would say he was stimming the whole day. He will make this buzzing noise and clap his hands whilst pacing up and down. I've spoken to him about it and all he said is he likes to do it . It's like he goes in a trance and just can't stop. He is now in reception at school and the SEN teacher there has requested for another assessment but told me it could take years. I don't know what do I'm massively struggling with it. His speech is amazing and he is very intelligent but the stimming has just became out of control. He also has terrible melt downs like terrible where he can become quite violent. I have 2 other children. My partner works full time and doesn't seem to understand how hard I'm finding it at the moment. I just don't know how to help him and deal with it.

Can you talk to him about it?
My eldest stims a lot at home. It's mildly annoying but I leave her to it. But she knows she "shouldnt" at school. She's 8 now. She finds it relaxing and says it helps her to think, but she knows it distracts others and is able to control it. I do think it uses up a bit of energy/mental resilience not do it though -she can be emotional at school and we are trying to tackle that.

I've tried speaking to him and understanding it but when he's in it it's like he's in a trance like he really can't stop. Sometimes he will do it for 1 or 2 hrs straight. He's been doing it for years but I've noticed recently it's become more daily instead of every few days. He says he likes to do it when he's excited but I can't see a pattern.