Does anyone else really not enjoy parenting?

[FestiveBakewell]

Does anyone else really just not enjoy parenting at all? No harsh comments please, I know people will judge and say why did you have more than one if you hate it well that’s because I absolutely loved the baby and toddler stage, unlike most people I genuinely loved and enjoyed that time so had no idea how much I would dislike it as they got older since that’s when everyone says it gets easier, but I don’t enjoy it at all. I loved it when they were younger they wanted to go out and do things now they never want to leave the house and I have to practically beg them to go anywhere and even when I do they don’t enjoy it and complain the whole time. Now I just hate being a parent. I find it extremely hard the constant mess, the constant cleaning, the mundane tasks, the cooking, all I do all day is look after kids and cook and clean, all the do is fight and argue, they don’t get on and rarely play together. I just find it dull and exhausting I can’t relate to other parents saying how much they love it and how it fulfils them I mean I really wish I could feel that way but I just don’t. I find it so much worse now they are older. Does anyone else relate to this or feel the same? Seems every other mum adores it don’t get me wrong I love my children and would do anything for them but just don’t enjoy being a parent.

My 13 year old is starting to pull
away and not wanting to do as much with us. I am ok with that, means dh and l can go out for lunch or a drink and not worry about her being bored. But yes op l agree with the constant drudgery being so fucking dull

I think people are focusing on the not going out when really that's not a big part of it for me I don't want to go out every day either I just meant they no longer want to hang out with their mum on the weekend's and do errands I think that's pretty normal for their age. When they were toddlers they were interested in going to the park and was easily please but now they find parks boring and babyish (they redone all the parks around here and they are much more babyish so they aren't wrong there) they were just more easily pleased now they only want to go out for food which I can't afford each time they don't want to go for walks and neither do I. They were just easier to entertain when small. But it's a very small part of it I hate it all I hate the school run, the cooking the cleaning. I find it all so dull even simple things like baking with them is an argument as they fight over everything (the 7 and 10 year old)

This was so real and I loved the honesty.

I find it hard, my 4yr old lay in bed tonight complaining she was losing friends and getting really worked up about it. Once we got to ten confirmed friends I told her to calm down and go to sleep. She genuinely believe she doesn’t have enough friends. It’s extremely trying.

I spend a lot of time doing things I definitely don’t want to do. I can’t wait for primary school to be over and for me to only see school on parents evening. I struggle to handle all the feelings tbh, hers, mine etc etc. I love her intensely so I pay attention to everything she does and says but it really wears me out.

It might be an age thing, so normal to find certain ages harder to parent than others. I feel like as parents we all have an age we prefer and can deal with best. I personally enjoyed newborn and 5-7, not enjoying 8 at the moment

I can relate to all of this. I hate school plays, my kids are never included in anything I feel like I just go there to stand and watch other peoples kids but of course I have to go for their sakes but I hate standing there pretending to enjoy it. I had the school run and how tedious it all is I've been doing it for 8 years!! And still have at 4 more years of it 🙄 the bad honestly just outweighs the good. I hate the cleaning it never stops, the constant worry it's never ending.

@FedupMum2024 I applaud your honesty , I think women should be allowed to tell their truth without being jumped on , being a great parent doesn't mean you have to love it and bang on about it being the best time of your life etc.
Mine are adults now and I'm a grandparent , getting them through their teens 15 up was my hardest times , I hated it most during them years. Like you op , I enjoyed the little baby and toddler stage a lot.
I think the thing that I wasn't ever prepared for was how you will never ever not worry again , from the minute you get pregnant your life is never going to be your own again , you will forever be putting other people and their needs first always and with that brings the worry , especially when they start going out to pubs and dating etc.
Parenting is bloody hard

I've got one and honestly I can only do this once. Too exhausting

I feel the same. I loved the baby to primary stage. Since they became teens they just fight, skulk, moan. I try to limit screen time. They don’t want t do anything with each other or as a family. I do make them help around the house but overall I feel I just exist to fund them. I am a lone parent and money is tight. I have given up taking them on holiday or days out. And I am looking forward to them leaving home.

Some bits have been better than others, but I agree it can be dull and repetitive and thankless and knackering and expensive 😂 I’m enjoying it a lot more now they’re 19 and 16 if that helps. The last few years have been pretty good on the whole. Hang in there. Maybe it’s unrealistic to expect to enjoy long periods of it, or parenting overall. It’s more about the little special moments in between the general Groundhog Day stuff. You’ve got to try and be in those moments and not wish the time away- though I do know how hard that is. (It’s getting easier as I get older).

thanks all I have to say regarding loneliness I never actually felt lonely before having children I had a very active social life lots of nights out and holidays with friends, dating etc I honestly never felt loneliness it’s only since I’ve had children that I’ve felt loneliness, friendships died out as they didn’t have kids or their kids were much older and I’ve not made any “mum friends” and my kids are too old for that now anyway so I can honestly say I’ve felt far lonelier since having them. My life revolves around them and I don’t have time for myself and rarely do anything for myself.

it’s really helpful to hear it’s not just me that doesn’t enjoy it.

I also didn't realise having kids wasn't compulsory

This is exactly me!