Too unwell to get children to primary school

[Stixk]

If you’re unwell and recovering ..but too poorly to take your children to school, what do you do ?
No one else to help .
Do you tell the school or not? Please can someone advise on this .

I would help a parent in this situation, even if i didnt know them. Reach out - i know my school would help too and probably the local church.

Possibly OP has family coming 10am-8pm every day (or something) to help her out but to miss the rush hour.

Perhaps the family is elderly parent who can play board games and watch DVDs with the kids but would struggle with walking to and from school twice a day.

Maybe the family is a brother who dated a teacher at the school and now has a restraining order so can’t get close to her workplace.

That’s three possibilities off the top of my head.

Another one here who says reach out to other parents. Even if I wasn't friends with someone I would help them out in this situation and I'm sure lots of others would too. Otherwise look for local babysitters who may be able to help.

I would also help even if I didn’t know the family, if this were someone in my dc’s class

When DD was in Primary School I had to call first thing one day and leave a message that I was too unwell to bring her in (a 10 minute bus ride or 20 minute walk away plus getting myself back home). As a lone parent with no support I could call in whatsoever.
School did not contact me that day but the day after I received a phone call from the school attendance officer who made it very clear that "it doesn't matter that you are unwell, it is your legal responsibility to get your child into school so make sure you have a back up so that this does not happen again". One time in DD's entire time at that school, I had no option of back up whatsoever. I was able to parent effectively from the sofa that day. I was still unwell for over a week but dragged myself to school and back.
That woman was always particularly vicious and sarcastic towards me when she couldn’t be overheard. A week later she was off work for six weeks because she slipped on leaves and broke her ankle. But she had a husband to take her (also primary) kids to school. But yeah, fuck me for one day.

Yeah, but the OP did say that she was going to look into this option now, which suggests that there is no desperate reason why this is not possible.

OP, sorry you are unwell. I think one of your relatives is going to have to get the kids to school somehow. Is the route difficult?

I'm saying this with no criticism or judgement.
This is a video for the NHS, bit it applies to schools too

Rethinking ‘Did Not Attend’
YouTube · Safeguarding Nottingham
1 Feb 2017

Not sure is link worked, but Google "was not brought"
It's on YouTube and other platforms too

I would offer to help out if a parent of a child in same class

Shes not got a sickness bug or the shits! Read the whole thread and dont be a dick!

Which is why I picked my first two examples as “difficult but not impossible” ie ones where OP is already getting a favour from family but now needs to ask for an extension to that favour.

My reply was to a poster who asked - rather snidely IMO - why didn’t OP think of family first.

i stand by it.

We had a choice of a school 10 minute drive away or 20 minute walk. We chose the 20 minute walk purely for this situation. A friend had an accident and couldn't walk for 3 months and the other parents rallied round and those that walked past her house took it in turn to drop off her daughter at school. I absolutely would do it for any of the parents in my daughters class.

The world turns on the kindness of strangers. It might feel weird reaching out when you don't necessarily know them that well but one of them might be the gem you need to get through this difficult time.

There are obviously medical situations where a parent physically couldn't leave the house though. I've passed out before and my children had to wait to be taken to school because I couldn't get up off the floor without feeling like I was going to faint again and my husband was working away. I also get migraines where it wouldn't be safe to drive for an hour or two because of visual disturbances. This is just run of the mill stuff too, not anything serious like cancer or a disability.

OP - could they walk themselves or do you know any other school parents going your way?

So you answered your own retorixal question with an answer. You have an operation you can’t drive so THAT would be one reason a parent can’t get kids to school. Then you say your OH helped. Complete opposite to the OP.

not very helpful post.

is there a school parent nearby who can collect your kids and drop back. Don’t have to be friends and if you offered some money may make you feel less obligated. If same times and walking to school not much of a put-out. Otherwise need to call an agency for temporary help.

You should tell school and ask them to help- if they dont have a “walking bus” arrangement for children whose mums are ill or disabled then they should be able to get social services to help. You have entitlement to help if you are ill or disabled. Also if you have cancer or other condition ask your GP or the hospital social worker for help getting children to school and also help with your shopping/ childcare etc. citizens advice will tell you your rights or just google

I hope you feel better soon x

Talk to the school, someone there may be able to help or have advice specific to your location and school. If it helps, I managed to take my children to school throughout 3 years of chemo (finished 6 months ago for a break in regime) - some days I had to take a sick bucket in the car, and sit on 2 towels just in case and often I had to just drop them in the lane nearby the school and get my yr 5 to walk my yr2 in, and then a TA or another mum would bring them out to the car at the end of the day. It’s worth trying other parents - they often are pleased to help. We live really rurally 3 miles from the primary school, and people brought work up to the children during the 2 weeks we had to self isolate as a family each time before my 3 major operations xx

Some really kind and thoughtful comments on here which I really appreciate.

It is tricky circumstances. Very outing and personal hence it might feel like a bit of a drip feed.

I'd ask friends/the class WhatsApp and I'd probably have several offers very quickly. I'd do it for another local parent, even if we weren't especially friends. In fact I have asked when I've been ill and DH has been away.

What do I say to school? This is worrying me as well .

This sounds hard OP. There are ways I'm sure you can make it happen though and having it arranged will take stress away from you.

Without knowing your circumstances the first thing I would do would be to see if a family member could be relied upon for the school run.

Option 2 - I would message the school parents on WhatsApp "hi all, appreciate this is a big ask and no pressure but because of medical treatment I'm going to be unable to do the school run for the month of November. We live on xx street. If anyone is local and would be able to help please message me directly - thanks all xx"

Option 3 - I would contact the school and say there are certain days you aren't going to be able to get your kids to school and tell them what you've already tried. Ask if they have any emergency transport for this situation - if you're open and transparent with them I'm sure they'll try to help.

Best of luck to you.

I would speak to the school.
They might be able to offer you some help

I think op is feeling very alone with her health problems and she doesn’t feel she can ask anyone,

You haven't said how old your children are. How old are they, because that can help us answer, @Stixk .

As a parent having been in a similar boat, and as a school governor, please please let your dc’s teacher know what the situation is.

schools will vary hugely in their ability to help with transport, you may have to ask the class/year WhatsApp for that; but it’s so important that your dc’s teachers know.

I’m sure you are doing a fab job of reassuring them that all will be well, but they might also be worrying underneath it, and their teachers can also help keep an eye on them from that perspective. Again, school support options vary, but most will have some form of pastoral care, and this can be so valuable for kids.

I hope that you don’t think I am judging in some way, And you may have this bit covered already. Kids pick up on the strangest things, or overhear something innocuous and somehow come to a totally random conclusion in their head, and sometimes you don’t know about it until later.

I do hope that you are able to get help from someone with the transport, and that your own treatment/recovery goes smoothly

Ask the school if they know of any childminders in the area who drop off and pick up from the school. They tend to know who they are and may be able to point you in the right direction. I use one for my kids and she even collects some kids and drops them off home too, if you’re lucky to find someone like this then it’s worth a try.

Hope you’re feeling better soon 💐