13 & 9 year old home alone?

[user2848502016]

So just found out DH and my work Christmas "dos" are the same night.
He has already said he'll go to his and paid a deposit.
The problem is my parents are our usual babysitters but they will be on holiday, nobody else to have the DC really.
I was going to say I won't go to mine but then thinking would our DC actually be ok alone? They are 13 and 9 (10 in January), and quite sensible.
Neither of us are planning on staying overnight and if I went to mine I would just go for the meal and drive so wouldn't be drinking- probably out for around 3h. I would be about 25-30 mins drive from home (DH further away). Mine also starts at 6pm so wouldn't be too late a night. My eldest has a mobile so could get in touch if any problems.
We also have a dog who would be an added level of protection!
I feel like the DC would be ok watching a film together, and if it was during the daytime I wouldn't be worried at all but just that it's going to be at night makes me more worried.
What would you do?

Bump

I would be absolutely fine with this and do leave out sensible 13 and 9 year old alone. You will get very mixed responses here though only based on people’s experiences with their own children so only you can know if your own will be fine. There is no theoretical right or wrong

Sounds fine

Sounds OK to me if the children are OK with it too?
Is there a friendly neighbour you can tell them to call in on if there's an emergency?

No I wouldn't do this.

13 would probably be ok but I think they're too young to be in charge of a younger sibling.

Would be fine with me if DC are ok with it and they get on ok (I would've cheerfully murdered my 9 year brother at 13 )

This is mainly what's bothering me, they are generally well behaved and do get on most of the time but I don't want to stress my eldest out having to be responsible for the younger one if she decides she's going to be a pain (which she does sometimes!).
Bribery with some sort of treat if they both behave would probably be needed!

And op I agree with your concern about it being in the nighttime. I think a lot of kids actually get quite freaked out at being home alone in the dark.

You know them best OP. I think they’d be fine. It would be different if you were expecting the 13 year old to look after a 3 year old.

I'd have a few practise runs for a shorter period first to see how it goes......then bribe them with a takeaway to behave 🤣🤣🤣

I would be fine with this. Don’t be too strict on bed times or technology, so the older one doesn’t have to tell the younger one to go to bed or turn off games etc and I think you will be fine.

If you have a friendly neighbour you could just let know as well as a back up but honestly your only 25 mins away and they have a mobile.

I'd be fine with this too. 👍

They will be fine.

I think it’s fine. Obviously some teens are fine with a younger sibling, others not so much but you know your dc best.

Do they have an older cousin or anyone else who could be paid to hang out there for a bit?

I think it would be fine, but for extra reassurance, do you know an older teenager who might be willing to keep them company? S/he wouldn't need to do anything, as you'd leave food ready, or they could get their own snacks, just be someone in the house.

My eldest would be up for this but my 9yo wouldn't be happy. I left them alone the other day because I had to go out before DH could get home and they ended up phoning him so they could talk to him all the way home. But if your 9yo is made of sterner stuff than mine I'm sure it would be fine!

Fine. I'd let a trusted neighbour know - and make sure your kids are confident to run to neighbour in any unforeseen emergency (burst pipe, extra large spider, power cut etc etc)

It depends on the sibling dynamic.
I left mine together for a couple of hours from 10&12. However, the 12yo was NOT responsible for the 10yo. The 10yo could be trusted not to do anything too silly. My neighbour was my "back up"... she knew they were alone, and the kids knew they could go there with any problems. I was 15 min walk away.

• do you trust your 9yo not to do anything stupid
• do you trust them not to fight
• do you trust the 13yo not to get bossy?

(I know a 13yo who regularly cares for a just turn 8yo. Its made her very mature and I hadn't thought anything of it but it would be too much for many teens)

I have left mine (who are the same age) whilst I go grocery shopping in the day, but would feel uneasy about it being at night. I'm not sure why!

I have children these ages and would be happy to leave them for a few hours. They both have phones with everyone's emergency numbers on, know not to attempt to cook or answer the door and are good friends with neighbours on both sides and down the road if there was an emergency. I just text every hour to make sure all OK.

Assuming they are both sensible kids with no issues, and are happy to be home alone, then yeah 3 hours is absolutely fine at that age.
Make sure you have the emergency services talk with them, and run thru what they would do in various scenarios. Have the talk about not opening the door to strangers. Check they both know how to contact you when they need to. Leave your number and any other helpful numbers written down for them.

Totally depends on the child(ren). They sound sensible enough and will probably just be watching tv or playing. Strict rules about no touching the oven and make sure they have an emergency number to call.

Absolutely not. It is not fair to leave a 13 year old in charge of a 9 year old. You have plenty of time, why not work on finding a local babysitter?

Ive done it a few times and once when we were nearly an hour drive away. We just regularly rang to check on them and agreed to lots of snacks and a bit of screen when the film had finished.

One time they needed to go to bed cos they had school the next day so they both went to sleep together in our bed for company.

I was actually very impressed cos DS2 will not stay in the house alone but the 2 together were fine (first did it at 12 and 9).