Step father and DD argument

[hadenough27]

So, last night my DD - 9 years old shouted at my husband (her step dad) that she wishes mummy would break up with him as she doesn't like him, doesn't like him swearing at her when mummies at work and wishes mummy was single and that she can't take it anymore
DD has a temper and flys of the handle at small things yes but everyday I get home from work and it's like walking into a battlefield
H response to her was telling her how crap it would be if he left, asking where her real dad is and how much effort (or not in this case as he doesn't) puts in
Wtf do I do

A grown man swears at your 9 year dd tells her life would be awful without him there aswell as belittles her asking what her father does for her and you wonder why she doesn't get along with him (sounds like emotional ABUSE to me)!!! You have a problem and it's not your daughter!!

Your poor DD what a horrible step father to have. Swearing at her is bad enough! But then commenting on her biological father, even adults can’t cope well with that sort of thing.

I would agree with your DD mummy would be better off single.

We’re going to need some more info to comment.

How long has your partner been in your daughter’s life?
How long have you been living together?
How old was she when you split from her dad?

You listen to your daughter and leave. You seem to be in a cycle of relationships with losers, break the cycle. Your DD is telling you how she feels, change it now before you ruin your relationship with her. Your DDs temper will be due to her volatile home situation.

Your poor dd, a child, being sworn and shouted at by a grown male. He is the problem- an immature, insecure bully. I would have him right out of the door.
Your dd must hate being alone with him. Or around him generally.

Your partners an abusive prick, and you’re on here complaining it’s your little girl with the temper??!

Do not leave her with him again
Leave him.

His words and actions have psychological effects on her, effects where she will go down a dark path.

We need no more amount of information, it's very clear from what the OP has described what's going on here.

So many women putting their love life ahead of their kids.

I'd be worried about what else happens when you are not around beyond swearing,

Another fucking step "dad", and a nine yo daughter as well.
Just as well you have a man who makes an effort.
I'd tell him where to go before he'd manage to let out a fart.
😡

Your daughter is telling you that he swears at her when you are not there. That is abuse. Why on earth would you think that was acceptable behaviour from him? Are you sure she is safe with him?

What is the bigger picture? Have they previously been fine together?

I get she has some challenging responses , but exactly when did this start?
She definitely needs some 1-2-1 time , with you, doing something she enjoys to decompress. And you need to start listening to her.

This.

OP, you are knowingly leaving your defenceless 9yo daughter with a nasty aggressive bully who you openly admit has a temper.

You are putting your child at risk daily. You need to step up and protect your child.

Yes, sickening.
The shagging must be worth it.

Divorce.

It's very obvious what you do here.

He was intentionally spiteful to try and hurt her feelings because she asked him to stop swearing at her? Sorry, he's an awful, horrible man. I hope you do leave for her sake.

Is the sex worth it to put up with this from him?

Op will be back on in 10 years time complaining about her shit husband and wondering why her dd doesn't talk to her.

You do what you should always do.

Put your daughter first.

Get rid of man who is bullying her in her own home.

I can’t remember having any arguments with my stepfather at all (he was around from age of 9). My mum did all the parenting. He lived with us and was a guiding hand but he certainly did not do any disciplining. My mum would not have tolerated him swearing at us. This is a very strange situation. Occasionally I was awful to him though when a teenager but he certainly didn’t retaliate and I can remember having to apologise.

Yet another woman putting a cock above the mental health of her child.
Op. Why are you allowing this vile bully to abuse your daughter? Do something about it!

What a vile man you are exposing your child to.

I wouldn't tolerate an adult behaving that way. You don't resort to childish responses.

Honestly I would be seriously questioning this behaviour.

Wtf did I just read?

As a mom in a blended family, if my DH had EVER said anything like that to DD when she was 9 he'd have been gone.

But he never would have. Ever. He loves DD as much as I do, and even when she was an annoying 9 year old (puberty hit young) he dealt with it in a calm and loving manner. Probably better than I did at times.

We aren't uptight about swearing, we do quite a lot of it in fact, but never at or about the children. In front of them, sure. But it's unacceptable to swear at kids.

You need to get your husband out of your life. And more importantly out of your DDs life.

Jesus, I’m with your dd on this. He sounds vile. LTB