but ingles, if it had been something dangerous, then you would expect that it would have been behind a locked door. I wouldnt expect a 6 year old to stay away from something that looked fascinating and was dangerous - I dont think anyone would! We would put it where the child really couldn't get hold of it.
Responsibility begins around 7 - that's why formal education begins at 7 in other countries, and why you are allowed to sign your name, have a bank account etc from 7.
You can train a child younger than 7 to obey you - but its like potty training them at 12 months - they can do it, but they dont really understand the whys and wherefores.
I was thinking about crunchies post a couple of days ago, when she said she obeyed her parents because she respected them. I actually dont want my children to respect me in that way. I want them to have solid values, and act accordingly with those. Therefore, they can only do right/wrong when they get to the age of being able to understand it, NOT merely the age to understand that Mummy said No.
(There are a few exceptions to this, eg not eating berries unless I have told them, and not getting into strangers cars. I told them those things when they were much too young to understand why.)
However, generally I dont expect my children to do things they dont understand, so I would have simply hidden teh present and not let a 6 yr old know where it was, because I think that's too young to stay away from it - babyish curiosity is still too strong.
I myself was brought up in the obey-your-parents school of child-rearing. Obeying parents = being a good girl. There was no other definition.
Most of the times when I was punished, I didnt even understand teh reason why I was being punished, but now that I am grown up, I can see it was because I had disobeyed my parents. But at the time, I would have forgotten the instructions, so it all made little sense.
I didnt rebel as a teenager. There was no way to not do what my parents said, and still be a good person. I just ran, as an adult. As I was on my way out, my parents were still telling me what a weak/stupid/bad person I am, because I had gone against their wishes.
I am trying to instil genuine values in my children, and not aiming for them to do things just because I told them to/forbade them from doing them. A necessary part of that, is to expect good behaviour only when the child really understands the reason why they should/shouldnt do stuff.
This is broadly in line with child-rearing in ex-h's country, where small children get away with a lot, but as they get older, they are expected to start behaving well.