Please confess your worst parenting moments to make me feel better...

[mummyjaguar]

Mine was this weekend when we decided to give DS2 some nappy free time (good parenting) and then turned around to see him happily eating poop (BAD BAD BAD parenting!!!)

Astonishingly NHS direct said there was nothing at all to worry about and "human poo is not dangerous particularly if its your own" !

ooo, we once found DS1 eating poo, but it wasn't his.

which means we're not just BAD parents.....but also BAD housekeepers.

After hunting all over the flat for where the poo might have come from, we came to the conclusion that he must have got it out of the nappy bucket.

Otherwise, there is poo somewhere in my house......

Having to go to minor injuries unit with ds aged 9mo because dh had told our dog that there was a cat in the front garden when ds was starfished on hall floor between dog and door, dog jumped over ds but caught his scalp with her claw . BAD dh BAD BAD BAD! (ds is fine, very small scar, luckily in hairline, so won't show unless he gets head shaved)

tell that story to the bloke at work, that should cool his ardour

I once completely forgot to collect my 2 year old daughter from playgroup. I was doing some voluntary work and was completely engrossed. Thankfully my friend realised that something was wrong and took her to my mums. I still have flashbacks, 10 years later. Not my finest moment.

Ooo good idea binkleandflip!

Will also explain how covered in the stuff I was trying to clean him (and the carpet!)

That'll do it

Ooh now which to choose

When I found ds eating a pack of silica gel?
When he sprayed shower cleaner in his mouth?
Wiping his face with a flash wipe by mistake?

anyone see a theme here?

DS1's first day at school, was waiting outside very excited and anxious to see him. Teacher opened the door to let them out one by one and I see DS and go over to give him a big cuddle, my friend pulled me back and said 'thats not DS!' I was hugging somebody else's child!. In my defence they did look very similar.

Nearly getting in a taxi to airport to leave for New York whilst children were waiting to be picked up from school. I was supposed to pick them up then take to their granny's then go. But I forgot the plan. And raced to school like maniac, 30 mins late, playground empty, blood rushing in head.

But five mins later I d have been heading for Heathrow.

Probably not my worst but mind is going a bit blank. When ds1 was a newborn and we took him to Sainsbury's for the first time in his buggy, dh went off to a different aisle and I was happily wandering about pushing the buggy and wondering whose baby was screaming in such distress, until dh appeared and said "it's our's". Poor ds1 was in a terrible state.

DH's worst - DS (aged 18mos) falling off his knee and ending up being admitted to hospital with suspected concussion. You would not BELIEVE the questioning we got!

Mine, probably when DS put the bottle of floor cleaner to his mouth, because its top looked like a drinks bottle...

Answering the phone to be asked "is anyone coming to collect DS" half an hour after cubs finished

Believing the A&E dept that DS's leg was only sprained - thereby allowing home with a bandaged fracture

Losing DD for a few mins in a Swimming pool complex after she followed my friend out of shared changing room (Back was turned for as long as it took to put towel into bag) in same month that Jamie Bulger went missing!!

am feeling slightly better and relieved that mine is not the only poo eating baby

Few weeks old DD1 - useless H (now seperated) decided he urgently needed to go to pub while I was napping upstairs - brought her up in car seat and left her asleep next to me (I didn't know) - she woke up screaming I awoke in a fright not realising she was there and knocked very heavy bottomed glass full of water onto her head - so she not only had big bang on the head but was soaked as well
We were both hysterical

DD shovelling up cat shit in the garden yesterday. Me: "you must not do that, it's dirty" DD: "but I always play with cat poo" ooops

Getting drunk having glass of wine with friend and realising children were very very quiet.

Finding two 2yo girl serving poo (still don't know whose) up on tea party plate.

Ok so I will give you one for each of my dc

Ds then age 2-- took a bite from a plastic magazine wrapper and had to go to A&E (he was fine)

DD1 Then age 4 ---dp forgot to pick her up from nursery till he was halfway home from getting ds

DD2-- Then age 5 cutting all her hair off the day before she was bridesmaid at her Godmothers wedding

DD3---- Then age 2 I forgot to strap her in her buggy in a mad rush one morning then tiped the buggy forward and out she fell down three steps

DD4--- Climbed out of the bath by herself this morning while I was getting her clothes ready (

My names blinkingthreetimes and I am a terrible mother lol

Forgetting to clean DDs teeth for the best part of a week while we were getting our bathroom done. DH and were so ashamed when we figured out that one.

Lol, makes you feel almost human to read all these entries, I was howling, having experienced high number of them and also not having ds strapped into buggy in garden when not so old and wind blew it over narrowly missing a recently cut and extremely sharp tree stump, but that was okay cause he landed on concrete!!

Then finding out when we moved house that as a toddler he had followed daddy to work (daddy unaware) and the shopkeeper, across the road, and round the corner returned him through our still open door, not shouting up to me or anything let him back in - I was upstairs his getting clothes and doing the beds he was downstairs watching cartoons (this was literally in space of few mins - v v bad mother

I would but I can't remember them all. Suffice to say that there are enough to make you feel much much better.

I don't think leaving a child without a nappy is bad parenting. But what would I know...

While pg with ds and very exhausted, I actually forgot dd's name. An old lady asked me and I couldn't remember.

Went to Manchester airport viewing zone. Tired, fed up just bimbling around in the cold. DS climbed up onto fence and fell through the gap between the slats.
Stood up covered in mud looking like a mad commando & burst into tears, but obvioulsy not hurt....

And I laughed [shame] [flagellation emoticon]

I'm sooo glad that I'm not the only one...

Mine is having an argument discussion with dd (age 5) in our bedroom which drifted out onto our very small landing. DD did a diva flounce and spun round only to fall down the stairs, top to bottom.

Cue lots of slow motion trying to catch her on the way down, failing and her landing at a very strange angle up against the hot storage heater at the bottom of the stairs. Then an avalanche of shoes which she had knocked on the way down landed on top of her!!

OK here goes...........

DD aged 18 months opens door and falls down stone cellar steps whilst I am on toilet.
DD aged 19 months falls over on a stone path, I say (from behind her) get up you're OK, turn her round to find a large stone embedded in her forehead!!
DD putting front teeth through lip on numerous occasions.
She just isnt careful, and is quite clumsy but then so am I (I fell down our stairs 3 times in one month, top to bottom and also walked into the end of a stairgate in the same month, causing so much pain that I passed out)
Like Mother like daughter

Oh I have another.
Car jam-packed to the roof on way to parents' house for Xmas. DH had been on sabbatical for a term so we had 3 months' worth of stuff as well as our Xmas presents. 5 minutes from arriving, all the pile of stuff collapsed onto dd, burying her completely. We had to dig her out from an avalanche of toys, Xmas presents, bags of shoes, etc.