am i being too picky?

[duckegg]

ds1 is a rather mature 9 year old. I don't think i ask a lot of him, i insist that he puts his clothes in the basket/hangs them up (if clean) and tidies his room before bed.
Trouble is my version of tidy is different than his, there is a place for evrything in his room and i expect everything to be put back in its place. I so often go in there when he's asleep to find it not done and i always have to be reminding him to brush his hair, put on his glasses etc. He gets all angry and says i am on at him all the time and then takes it out on his brother.
I allow him to play computer games every other day providing he has done what he should but if i am not letting him on it he hits the roof.
dp thinks i am too fussy about computer/tele, what he eats, tidiness etc what do you all think?

I would control the TV/computer and what he eats to a large extent. I wouldn't be as bothered about tidiness. I expect a good tidy of the bedroom at least once a week - ie. everything off the floor/surfaces and in the cupboards, bookshelves tidy. But if they put things in the wrong boxes that's their problem. I generally do a toy cupboard tidy every couple of months. Clothes are put in two piles in the kitchen, one for dirty, and one for clean which I then put in the right places. My boys don't get their hair brushed at all, either by them or by me

I don't think you are too fussy at all. Children need discipline and as you are his mother he should abide by your rules.
If that means he can't play computer games unless he has done his chores then so be it! At 9 he is old enough to understand this, and to see why you want him to do certain things. Perhaps you should sit down with him and work out a way to get what you both want... like a family agreement where he signs something to say that he will do his bits and pieces, and in return he gets to play his computer games or some other treat... that way he feels more involved and not like you are just on at him all the time.
Unfortunately you do need your partner to back you up.