Did you feel a rush of love when your child was born?

[RedRobyn2021]

My mum always talked about this rush of love that she had when I was born

When I had my daughter, she was a bit late by 12 days and I had pressure put on me to have an induction which I refused, but the anxiety ruined the end of the pregnancy for me.

I gave birth to her at home and birthed her in water, I was really dehydrated I think and a bit spaced when she was born. I remember the first thing I thought was, "you don't look like how I thought you would". She was crying so I reassured her that it was me and everything was ok. But I did not have a rush of love.

I don't feel any guilt or shame about this, it must be normal or I wouldn't have felt that way.

Just interested to hear other women's experiences really. I'm pregnant again and intrigued to see if I get the rush this time

No to either of mine. Both were quite traumatic births in different ways. With dc2 I had this feeling of being very content and watching dh hold him and thinking oh that’s okay now I can pop off - I was suffering horrendous bleeding during a c section (elective and they found I had undiagnosed placenta issues) and it was all a bit weird, I genuinely thought that was the end for me….! But no real rush of love.

Being completely honest, I struggled to really bond with both of them until they became a little older. I knew all the ways I was meant to feel, and did everything I was meant to do, but it wasn’t until the horrible sleepless nights eased a bit that I saw some light at the end of the tunnel. I love my dc (now aged 21 and 12) to the moon and back but I’m not a huge fan of babies 🙈🙈

Yep. No rush of love, but definitely a Rush of Responsibility.

No. But they sort of waved him at me and then ran off to SCBU so I first saw him in a photo and then in an incubator and he didn't feel like mine. It was more of a slow burn

first baby, no, long failed induction followed by EMCS and all the drugs had me spaced out and a bit detached, took me quite a number of weeks to bond & feel intense love for her

second baby was elective CS and was a chance to out right the wrongs i felt happened first time around. I absolutely felt a rush of love this time.

but it doesn’t make any difference to the way I feel about them now, love them both entirely and equally

My first, well all of them really, no as I loved them from the moment I knew I was pregnant! I remember the first looked familiar like I already knew him. Couldn't stop looking at him with awe and wonder 🤩

DC1 yes was amazing, DC2 I felt...indifferent... for weeks!

With DC1 I clearly remember that, when DH left, so baby and I were alone for the first time (about 8 hours after birth) my eyes met theirs through the 'fish tank' and I felt a physical jolt of love in my stomach.
DC2 was huge and seemed so strong, they developed a cold on about day 4 and, once again I got a physical wrench inside as they needed my reassurance so badly to settle.
DC3 - no.
Love them all the same now though.

Not with my first DC. I had lost so much blood and was so out of it that I remember them putting him on me and I just couldn’t reconcile that was my baby. I was so disconnected with reality. As I left theatre, literally as I was being wheeled out, a doctor said to me “you’ve had some significant tearing, so you’ll suffer with incontinence now” and I remember being convinced I was basically the same as a mouse and kept saying “I’m a mouse” and crying.

Sorry for the overshare 😂

My second, lovely, planned c-section - yes I did. It was a beautiful calm birth and I was so happy to meet him and soaked it all in.

No, I was just really glad it was all over.

Not with DS1, I was absolutely rushing on adrenaline and endorphins because I had a hypnobirth, and was more interested in the fact that I felt I could eat nails I felt invincible. I was more excited to see him than the rush of love, which came a day or so later.

With DS2 I had the rush immediately - I almost lost him at 30 weeks so I'd tried not to emotionally bond with him when pregnant in case he didn't make it. I thought I'd feel similar to DS1, but holy hell, the minute I laid eyes on him the rush of love was overwhelming. I cried, husband cried, baby mewed and went back to sleep.

Even now a decade on, I can still remember how hot he felt as they lay him on my chest. He opened his eyes and looked at me and it was pure heart opening explosion of love.

My 1st not at all, I hadn't felt great his whole pregnancy, I wasn't happy with where we were living and my job. When u had him I felt totally unable to relax and that subsequently lead to insomnia and PND.

My second 3.5 years later I felt the love instantly. Well, it was probably mostly massive relief because she came out a good size. I was induced after being told she was SGA and she came out at 6lbs on the dot, my birth was so much better too, despite the induction I really enjoyed it!

I don't think anyone should feel pressure to feel the massive love. It doesn't mean that someone who feels it therefore loves their child more for the rest of their lives.
It's like saying a baby that walks first will be the best wife for life, they won't!
I think how you feel when your baby comes can be very much to do with your life as a whole, you're relationship, living situation, work situation etc. as long as the baby is well cared for that's all that matters,

Walker - not wife!

Yes for all of them but it grew more over the following weeks and months. I would feel just this rush of love that would suddenly come from nowhere while I was feeding them or rocking them to sleep.

No not with either of mine. I would have jumped in front of a bus for them but I didn't feel the massive wave of love. It came over the next few days.

Yes this is how I felt, like I was meeting a new person

I wanted to protect and look after her, but I didn't know her

No, not with either of mine. I had bad PND with DC1 which didn't help. DC2 was a really pretty,very easy baby and I didn't have PND but it still took a few months for me to fall in love with him.

Same.

Yes I did with DC1. I didn't with DC2 and DC3, the love developed over time (think it took longer with DC2 due to PND).

Yes I did, but I have a friend who didn’t. This friend resents the message that it’s common and I feel guilty for telling her that I did, before she got pregnant.

So I don’t think it’s uncommon to not.

I was happy to see my daughter,, but glad the pushing and pain was over.I didn't see my son come out , I was very protective, but no biig rush of love.exhaustion.

Not with either of my children, and I had natural, pretty quick and easy births both times. I knew and felt strongly that they were mine to protect and look after, but it was definitely not a big rush of love.

Good lord no. But it grows over time and I get sudden rushes of love all the time for both of them still. Immediately post birth (which I am terrible at) I pushed them onto their father's chest and went for a shower. No oogling and deep emotion. Just gratitude to be alive ..

No I didn’t with DS, he was born by C-section and immediately taken away. I was preoccupied with feeling awful during the op and worry for him. He was tiny and I felt overwhelmed!

Now I do feel that love everyone talks about, it took time for me.

No.
In fact I had this bizarre detached feeling of surprise that I had a baby.
It was like shit got very real.

No, it took weeks for both of mine to truly feel like they were mine and that I loved them.
Out of 8 friends in our NCT group only one said they felt they loved them immediately.
It’s something we should normalise better.