ok then, goig on the other thread with AIBU re perfect parents.......WHAT DOES make a perfect parent???

[Psychomum5]

emkana askes why there seem to be so many thread professing perfect parenting, but we all have failing in some way or other (or at least, I do), so instead I wonder what it is that would shout to the world that 'this is a perfect mother'..???

for me, it would be a mum who managed to feed her children 100% organic decent food, cooked from scratch, and the kiddies wolfed it down without complaint and sneering....

oh, and one that wouldn;t be pushed to open the wine before the kiddies were in bed, instead of me that starts a glass while cooking many meals for my increasingly allergic and fussy children as I just cannot cope with the stress of knowing that they will all eventually just leave it anyhow!!!!

I am tho still standing up to my own claim that I am perfect, I just got given slighlty warped children.....

there is no such thing as a perfect parent, just as there is no such thing as a perfect child.
we should all be aiming for "good enough" imo.

oh I know that....I am just wondering what would be the give-away of being perfect.

I mean, wew all look at others and in some way find them doing something better than us, and yet surely other mums look at me and thingk the same....and yet none of us actually ARE perfect, are we???

I want to know what would be on the list of the perfect mum.......much like what we do as teens on our list of 'the perfect man'...

DYGWIM???

I think we owe it to our children not to be perfect. Let's face it, almost everyone wants to be a better parent than their own parents so if we were perfect, what on earth would our children have to aim for??

very true.....

I suppose that altho I am correcting the mistakes made to me while I was a child, I am at the same time making mistakes that MY children can correct with their own!!!

IMO, If your child grows up to be healthy, happy, fulfilled and confident of their place in the world, whatever that might be, then you must have been a perfect parent. As they will be to their children, following your excellent example.

Look at the Brie Van De Kamp-esque mothers of your acquaintance (we all know at least one). Do you think their children, once grown would say their mother was perfect? Somehow I think not.

oh god, the one I kow is so anul about everything her kiddies are too scared to get dirty....!!

hang on, sometimes that could be me

The perfect mum is the one who never turns up to the baby group with puke down her shoulder and the baby in his sleepsuit because it was still roughly clean...

And I bet her nappy bucket isn't overflowing!

lol....and also has her hair brushed and looking faintly normal.

oh, she may also have lipstick on, that cannot be atributed to a sticky jammy kiss!

I disagree, I think the perfect mother is the one who turns up unkempt at baby group and genuinely does not care what anyone else thinks.

I recently met a woman who I knew instantly I would get on with. She showed me all 4 bedrooms of her new completed v expensive extension happily despite every room looking as though a bomb had hit it. Anyone who does not care and refuses to be judged on what others think of their housekeeping skills, is my kind of woman.

mini rant here, but am bloody pissed off......

pefect mother seems to be one who would not come on N for advice when she is clearly upset about her son, and then stay when things start to go wrong and she is terrified!!!!!

yes, I am bloody fucked off in fact!!!!

come on MN......so angry I even miss the M off!!!!

Psycho, Poncho was only "one voooyce, singing in the darkneeeeesss." There was no real argument there,other than she would have done things differently to the OP. No-one who was there at the time, waiting for the ambulance, could have thought anyting other than the OP was deadly serious. Poor Poncho must have been burned badly in the past for her to be as cynical about posters, who knows?

I agree with KatieScarlett's idea of the perfect parent. I knew somebody a bit like that, OK, her house was usually clean and tidy, but she had a cleaner, but she didn't seem to care about what anybody thought about her way of doing things. She wasn't afraid to admit when she needed help, and did things in a slightly different way to the norm. I would have liked to have been a bit more like her.

I'm not perfect by any means, but my kids are mostly happy, which is good enough for me.

Why on earth does any sane person give a damn?

one mum at my kids school thinks her 3 kids are still attatched by their umbillical cords .she wont hardly let them out of her sight kicking up a huge fuss when they dont allow her to go on school trips with her baby in tow,she spends 2 hours every day bleaching the whole house ,thinks she is the worlds best mother and you know what her kids are always coming down with some bug or another coz their house is so sterile .
she will have a big shock when they get older and they find out that this isnt normal behaviour and they will start to rebel.
no one is a perfect mother and who ever claims to be is lying

Mankind is not perfect. We're all full of quirks and flaws and all the better for it IMO.
Perfect people are unnerving IMO.
I aim to be good enough to make my children feel happy, secure, loved and liked, set them on the road to a fulfilled and confident adult life, and equip them with the social skills and sense of justice and ethics needed to be a contributor in society.
That's the Big Picture. Day to day we muddle through all doing the best we can.

a perfect parent is someone who loves their kids

i dont think in anyones eyes there is such a thing as a perfet parent but it is something we all inspire to be

if our children are happy and loved and well balanced and in our eyes perfect then thats all thast matters in there eyes we are probably perfect parents

what we see in our children not everyone will see and the way we do things isnt what everyone would agree with

but thats ok were all different we all do things our own way and all in our own unique ways are perfect or close to

perfection can never be met as such as in life you make mistakes you learn by them but the one main goal is to live life to the best being happy and healthy

You can only be a good enough parent. There is no such thing as a perfect parent because it is different for each DC. Some DCs love a parent who takes them on all sorts of adventurous activities, it would terrify others. Some thrive with a parent who challenges them to excel academically, others can't take the pressure. Some love a parent who works, others resent it-you could go on and on. It is all on personality. Someone who doesn't allow any junk food may be seen as perfect, I see them as over controlling.etc etc etc

i get what you were trying to do psychomum

ta sushi

am here to check up on one person this morning....I was up soooooooooo late on that other thread, and then when I cam to bed I couldn't sleep!!!

now twitchy myself, and the kiddies are up......

Exactly Psycho, why can't we all just accept each other and get along without the sniping and one-upmanship?

What man would honestly say to others that he fears his child's development was stunted by him not staying home until DC was five. Or justifying why he is a SAHF.

lol....most men would be hard pushed to even care about what their wives think, let alone the kiddies and other men!!!!