Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Tell me how you love your second child?

72 replies

VivalaDiva · 19/04/2008 19:38

DS1 is my life, my universe. I love him so much it hurts. Me, DS and DH make a perfect little family unit. We've been ttc for over a year and finally got a bpf. I'm scared that I won't feel the same about the new baby. Is it possible to feel the same amount of love? Is this a normal anxiety to have? Tell me your stories.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/04/2008 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heated · 19/04/2008 19:40

Love isn't finite, it just expands.

satine · 19/04/2008 19:41

Don't worry - what you are feeling is absolutely normal. My first reaction on discovering that I was pregnant with my second child was "No! I don't want another baby - I just want ds, I could never love another baby". But the spanish saying that every baby brings its own love is true. Somehow, you will love your second child with all your heart, just as much as you love your first, without it affecting your love for your first child one little bit. It's amazing!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Heated · 19/04/2008 19:41

God that sounded schmaltzy, but you just end up loving dcs all the more.

fatzak · 19/04/2008 19:42

Oh you will love DC2 just as much! When I was in labour and we were in the car taking DS1 to stay with my parents, DH and I sobbed that it'd would be the very last time we were a family of three
I just can't imagine life now without him To see the two of the playing together, and the love they have for each other is just wonderful ...(making myself tearful now...)

CarGirl · 19/04/2008 19:42

the more dc you have the more love you have, it's very wierd but def true

Piffle · 19/04/2008 19:42

oh you grow it will envelop and shock you. I never thought I could adore in the same way after ds1 but tonight my 3rd child ds2 13 mths fell asleep on the boob and I just sat there and inhaled his sweet head and the love is incredible. Then put dd to bed -she is 5 and it is near impossible to say goodnight as I miss her overnight!
Trust me it will happen!

3littlefrogs · 19/04/2008 19:42

There was a similar thread to this one a while ago. I will say the same now as I did then. Love isn't finite. It doesn't have to be shared out. It grows to include all your loved ones. You will love your second child every bit as much as you love the first. You find it hard to imagine now, because your second child isn;t "here" yet. But you will gradually fall in love with him or her, believe me.

I have 3 and I love them all to bits (and dh as well, of course, though he has had to move over a little bit sometimes).

FAWKEOFF · 19/04/2008 19:43

your heart just grows bigger to fit more love in...you feel like they were made to be in your family and that they have always been there

lostinfrance · 19/04/2008 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

VivalaDiva · 19/04/2008 19:43

Welling up now guys! Thanks.

OP posts:

3littlefrogs · 19/04/2008 19:43

I am so slow at typing - there were no replies when I started

chocolateshoes · 19/04/2008 19:45

am in tears reading this!

HaventSleptForAYear · 19/04/2008 19:46

My SIL (just 1 DD) said recently that she was always worried that if she had a 2nd child (not in a position to) she was worried that if they were not so "easy" as her DD she wouldn't love them as much.

My DS2 was a nightmare reflux baby, and has nearly wrecked my relationship with DH because of it. He is now an adorable toddler and I could just eat him up, he is so cute. I have a real "physical" link with him that I don't have so much with DS1, (who of course I love to bits too).

However it DOES feel a bit wierd to start off with (IME), it didn't feel quite so special to me 2nd time round when DS2 was newborn (not so wonderfully magically new) - or maybe that was the reflux !

But don't worry, you end up (quite quickly) being as ferocially (sp?) attached as to first DC, it just sometimes doesn't feel so strong because you're already used to loving a child (something which is quite amazing 1st time round).

HaventSleptForAYear · 19/04/2008 19:47

Slow here too!

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 19/04/2008 19:48

I think this thread may have gone some way to helping my dh understand why I want no.2

SmugColditz · 19/04/2008 19:49

Totally differently and exactly the same. ]

You will love the new baby just as much, and you will carry on loving the child you have now.

I felt just like you. Had no idea how I could possibly love another child. I don't really like children, I thought I had struck gold with ds1 and didn't want to rock the boat.

Guess what? I struck gold again. And so will you.

Psychomum5 · 19/04/2008 19:50

I don't know how to explain it beyond 'love is magical, as is your heart'.

you fall in love just as hard with your second as you did your first...and then the same again with your thrid, fourth, fifth......

I cannot tell you how much I can tell you I love all mine....and I soooooooooooooo worried about it when I fell for DD2.

I feel as tho my heart grew per baby to include each baby.....it never felt as tho the love for DD1 halved, it doubled.

if my love could have volume, it would expand the edges of the universe, and then some!

Original poster

VivalaDiva · 19/04/2008 19:51

OP posts:

cosima · 19/04/2008 19:52

oh this is the bestest cheesiest loveliest thread, you could all be nancy!

Original poster

VivalaDiva · 19/04/2008 19:53

I think I'm slightly worried as with DS1 I had no massive waves of love after childbirth. In fact I would say it took a few weeks to start to feel love. What if that never kicks in with no.2?

OP posts:

Original poster

VivalaDiva · 19/04/2008 19:54

Lol Cosima anyone's better than Francesca!

OP posts:

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/04/2008 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eandh · 19/04/2008 19:57

DD2 is my little baby (well she is 15months but she is tiny and my baby ) I love the fact that she adores being cuddled (dd1 who is 3.7 normally to busy for cuddles unless she wants them) she is a feisty little character who makes me smile and laugh and DD1 and DD2 adore each other, in fact I often find them snuggled up together in the morning as if DD2 wakes up (she is in bed now) she goes into DD1 room and she puts her in her bed and they go back to sleep.

I adored being a mum to DD1 as a baby and worried about having another dc, but its amazing how much you can love more than 1 child. I was so much more relaxed with DD2 and it has made life so much easier, we have routine but she can be flexible (I think dd1 was in to much of a routine)so bedtime can be adjusted by hal an hour is needs be. I love them both snuggling up with me on the sofa after bath time to do stories and books. I honestly couldn't imagine only having DD1 now

blanktyblank · 19/04/2008 19:57

you will defo love this coming child as much as the first ,its like you heart just gets bigger . i have 3 kids and wondered how i could love them all equally but i do love them more than life itself

Flip

1 2 3