How often have you left your kids in their lifetime?

[Isitjustme20]

Just wondering!

Holidays? Never.

They are 12 and 14.

Have you got a partner OP?

Never until they were 5 and 3. After that, GPs had them for 1 or 2 nights most years when we went away for our wedding anniversary. Nothing more until they were about 17/15. We're leaving our now 21 year old on his own for 5 days while I join DH at a conference next weekend but that may be the first time we've ever not taken any child who's at home. (They're at university now so we have plenty of time for other trips.)

Thanks @soberholic - twas a long time ago now (2012) and I'm still fighting to get back to my marathon pace! 😂

Yes I do, he’s brilliant and we share bedtimes but I am starting to feel like I need to get out and do something once a week in the evening but have so much guilt of not being there for their bedtime

Def do it! Will be good for everyone, don’t feel guilty.

So, definitely do a regular evening thing without them, especially if their father is at home to look after them.

DH and I have only had a couple of nights away from them together although we've each had nights away from themourselves for work or e.g.because the other is visiting the grandparents with the DC. Ironically, as they get older and in theory it's easier to leave them (we have teenagers) we don't want to because it's such fun spending time with them now.

First left DS overnight at 11 months for 2 nights for a wedding, with my mum at our house.
Left him at 15 months for 5 nights for a work trip, he was with DH.
Left him again at 17 months for another work trip, 8 nights, he was with DH.
Left him at 21 months for 7 nights for a ski holiday, he was with my mum at our house.
We take him on holiday with us generally but skiing is hard with really little ones unless you pay for creche. Well my mum was happy to spend the time with him and he went to nursery as normal so didn't disrupt his routine.
Did another 2 nights for a wedding at 23 months, with my mum at our house.

The hardest ones were the work trips, because they were in Asia and the Caribbean respectively, so had the time difference to contend with and missed him loads. But he was with DH so totally fine.

Doing a club one night a week is absolutely not a problem, it's good to have time to yourself. Do you never go out of an evening generally? Dinner with pals or anything?

Not yet.

DD is 5 and we’ve not had an evening out together yet (not that we have wanted to). I don’t think we would ever have a holiday though. I like spending holidays with her, besides we don’t have any family to leave her with.

I have had 1 night away when I did an emergency family visit. DD was with DH. But that’s all.

I have plenty of nights out with friends though, I am not there for every bedtime. DH does 50%.

I have left them quite a lot of times. Mine are late primary school age. I think I have had 5 individual nights away for both my DH and me where grandparents had them which included one anniversary night in a hotel, 3 child free weddings of family and friends and a funeral that I had to travel a few hours to. Then lots of times just me away as I have to travel for work but I always do the least time I can get away with. I have never gone on holiday with my husband without them though as I love family holidays.

It made them want to adopt even more. I have blummin amazing children 🤣

Blimey I couldn't even tell you how many times. DH travelled with work so he was away 1 week out of every month since eldest was about 8 weeks. I've been away with friends on weekends away since eldest was 1. Or conferences away with work.
Usually DH or I am with them.
We have been away together a few times. Ranging from 1 night for weddings, birthdays, funerals up to 4 nights for a long weekend away.
We only went away together and actually left the country this year for the first time without them, kids are 13 & 16.
Both of us have regular evenings out individually and together. It's good to have interests outside the kids and a break from the house.

We were lucky (well, we deliberately arranged things) that we lived near both our parents who, while they couldn't do regular childcare, could have the kids for a few days. And definitely lucky that both kids were quite easy to look after so we didn't have to feel guilty about leaving them with grandparents.

We went away for our anniversary when oldest was about 2, before DS was born, and went away for a few anniversary weekends when they were small.

We left them to it for a couple of nights (aged 15 and 12) last year because we booked a weekend away for DH's birthday assuming our parents or siblings could have them, only to find both sets of parents and DH's brother (who lives locally) were away for at least some of the 4 days. In the end they stayed 'home alone' on school nights, as previous experience showed both they and my parents found it a bit stressful getting them to school from their house, so they preferred being at home and going from there. My parents were able to have them for the middle two nights, though they were out at a concert one evening. All worked out fine.

Once for night away with DH, that's in 4 years.

Also for a year I had to go on 6 separate overnight stays for work, but DH was home.

I've had 2 nights without DD who is 2.5 , once I went away for the night with friends so she was at home with her dad and once she has stayed the night at my mums. I was very anxious about leaving her when she was little!