Toddler asking for biscuits & yoghurt after 2 mouthfuls of meal.... what to do?

[greenleaveseverywhere]

She's 2.

Currently when I serve a meal, she will have 1 or 2 mouthfuls and then ask for yoghurt or biscuits.

I really don't know how to play this one as don't want to fall into the "one more mouthful" camp but equally, not comfortable with her living on biscuits and yoghurt.

Help?!!

In this situation we say- have two more mouthfuls and then you can have one biscuit. Then when the biscuit is gone, its two more mouthfuls of dinner (or a specified item on the plate) for another biscuit. It sounds ridiculous but it's worked well for my 7 year old who is now an amazing eater, seafood and vegetables included. And we had some toddler meals with him which went - two mouthfuls, chocolate button, two mouthfuls, chocolate button...

You are allowed to just say no OP.

I have four, all young adults and aside from my autistic teen who only eats very bland food the other three eat a range of food (vegetarian) and are slim and healthy.). I've always been quite old fashioned I guess - biscuits aren't a dinner food anyway so we would have a 'proper' pudding or fruit or yoghurt. Refusing to eat anything was met with : is it a food they genuinely don't like, in which case I either have an alternative (simple) or are they full/not fancying it in which case they just had to wait for everyone to finish and then have pudding if it was on offer. I also made them eat a few bites 'or no pudding' as it's too easy to just wait for the sweet stuff and not develop a taste for savoury.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum she doesn't because she ends up eating the food we have at some point when she is hungry enough as it's food she likes. There's no point trying to force her to eat food she doesn't like as that will for sure make her wake up for milk at night. I sometimes have to make e.g. fish fingers for her when the rest of us have salmon so I know she eats enough during the day. We are eating basic every day food anyway so I am not bothered if she doesn't eat certain things at the moment.

I said to mine - 'you don't have to eat dinner, but there's no dessert if you don't'. No cruelty, bribery or bargaining necessary. Worked a treat. Brilliant eater ever since.

She wants biscuits for dinner. I'd put money on the fact that the yoghurt on offer isn't an unsweetened natural variety either, it'll be the UPF dessert type. So yes, in the quest to get a toddler to eat 'a decent variety of nutritious foods' you leave those things off the table - at dinnertime at least, hopefully always.

IMO one of the very best things you can do for your child's long term health is not raise them to have a preference for processed and sweet foods. They're awful for you, and yes I know 'everything in moderation' blah blah but every single day, and as your main meal even, is not moderation. If I could have a do-over of my kids' early years that stuff just wouldn't be in the house at all.

Tbh I wouldn't even have biscuits in the house. At that age she will soon forget about them and it's not necessarily to be eating a UPF like that daily. As for the yoghurt I would also only occasionally have it in the house unless you're just talking plain yoghurt. There's no need for pudding as an everyday thing.

Who knows what she means by biscuits (when min where little they thought an oatcake was a biscuit!) but we do know that it’s something that her mother is willing to let her eat (at least at other times of the day or in the right order at dinner). I’d just switch things round. Maybe give her something else for a snack or put the yogurt on the plate at the same time as her dinner but overall keep her diet the same. There really is no reason to make a fuss about food.

FWIW I have three children who eat a good variety of healthy food and generally have good diets and it wasn’t without its challenges (one is autistic and another had physical issues with eating so I had more to stress about than the occasional peppa pig yogurt).

on the contrary, that is the perfectly cool place to keep them.

I know some people wouldn’t agree but we only have yoghurt after tea maybe 3/4 days per week. It’s random, not dependant on how much they’ve eaten. I think a benefit of this is that the children don’t expect it every day so there are no tantrums if it is not given but it is also not putting pressure on them to eat ‘and then get a yogurt’.

She's only 2. They don't eat proper meals like older children and adults. What yoghurt do you buy? If it's plain Greek yoghurt then it's great. You can say yes to that and skip the biscuits.

We've been doing this for a while with plour 3 year old. And it's really taken a load of stress away. We also have been putting 'pudding' (yoghurt, whatever) out with the meal, so there's no 'eat that then you can have this'. Also, often, we don't have any pud! That's ok too!

Ellyn Satter's philosophy of feeding helps me whenever I feel in a rut. Here's the gist: 'Parents do the what, when, and where of feeding and let their child do the how much and whether of eating'.

More, if you're interested:
https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/family-meals-focus/20-addressing-child-picky-eating/

We don't do this approach for breakfast and it's notably more chaotic/he's more demanding. Think we'll make a change there.

Maybe try giving her plain/Greek yoghurt and like some kind of wholemeal crackers so it’s not so appealing. I completely understand though. My son was tube fed until 18 months and never had a bottle so a very unconventional weaning journey and all he wants is crispy things like breadsticks, toast, crackers, potato! Drives me insane but I have to just get some blitzed protein/ fruit and veg in despite him not touching it if he has the choice!

Not ideal but I’d rather he was eating something! Just hoping he grows out of it.

Serve yoghurt with the rest of the meal and let her eat in whichever order she likes. No pressure. Obviously biscuits are a bit different - do you need to have them in the house? If it's becoming a problem I would try and phase them out of her life!

I would avoid 'if you eat the boring stuff, you can have a treat' approach

We give everything at the same time, but also I don't serve something 'sweet' with every dinner either so there's no expectation there. She's never scoffed the sweet stuff first and refused the meal, and she knows if it's not on the table then it's not on the menu.

I just don't buy biscuits. So ask away but you ain't getting any!

I serve food I know they'll like/eat and make a song and dance of modelling myself trying something new (even if its not entirely new) which encourages them to sniff/lick/touch the new thing too and eventually try it.

I always say "eat what you'd like and leave the rest on your plate." I plop a serving of fruit/plain yoghurt on their plate as well or in the middle of the table (like you would a bowl of salad) and serve ourselves. My 1yo will go for and eat the fruit/pud first then come back and gobble main. My almost 4yo will slowly enjoy mouthfuls of main then devour fruit after. I'll stick a bowl of steamed carrots on the table in the same way and it has the same effect 😂

Puds that aren't fruit are served at the same time as main - something like sheet pancakes, no sugar! Or mashed banana and cocoa powder on cinnamon toast, homemade rice pudding, or some other pud we have made together.