Toddler asking for biscuits & yoghurt after 2 mouthfuls of meal.... what to do?

[greenleaveseverywhere]

She's 2.

Currently when I serve a meal, she will have 1 or 2 mouthfuls and then ask for yoghurt or biscuits.

I really don't know how to play this one as don't want to fall into the "one more mouthful" camp but equally, not comfortable with her living on biscuits and yoghurt.

Help?!!

Yes the juice ones I do- from Innocent juice. Which are not from concentrate, no added sugar, no sweetners. Only ingredient is fresh squeezed gently pasteurised orange juice.

The yogurt ones I make as I described as I was asked “where do you get flavoured yogurts from”

No they aren’t all made the same way.

’Division of responsibility’ approach is the answer, it’s fantastic. Originally by Ellyn Satter. There are lots of websites and podcasts on it. Kids eat in colour on Insta is also great. It teaches food neutrality, very important for a health relationship with food.

Its good to answer with a positive rather than a no ‘You can have biscuits and yogurt for snack time, they’re not available right now’. Also occasionally serving some biscuits alongside the meal can help take it off a pedestal. This could mean little meal is eaten, but also sometimes they actually eat more of the meals as the high appeal item has gotten their interest in eating.

DO NOT as some PP have said say ‘you can have some if you eat your meal’ this encourages ignoring hunger and satiety cues and also confirms the toddlers view of the position of yogurt and biscuits as superior.

rods and backs

Yes I just have greek style and berries.
But if there are non upf fruit yogurts in posher shops I would be up for finding them

Yes the goal is to not make dinner a battle of wills but a relaxing social situation.

I think I'd go with the sectioned plate and put a tiny bit of yogurt and a small piece of biscuit in one section.

There are some. Rachel’s is pretty good. No UPFs in them.

You’re obviously very caring and switched on, but this kind of pressure mentioned here and by other PPs can lead to a very unhealthy relationship with food. It also teaches children blackmail/coercion which they will apply to others when exploring how to relate to people.

kidseatincolor.com/picky-eating/

Exactly how I would play it.. not a big deal, she will get bored and still eat the other food.

Shes just bargaining with you! Sneaky little things toddlers.

Not wanting to wade into the UPF debate but I’ve never made desert conditional on eating dinner whether that be yogurt (choice of brand neither here nor there), fruit, or a fancier pudding if I was in the mood to make something. However, they have to wait until everyone has finished. So usually when faced with waiting 5-10 minutes, which is an eternity to a toddler, for everyone else to finish they will choose eat more of their dinner. They get a biscuit after school, or at 3pm-ish now it’s the holidays, for their snack so wouldn’t think to ask for one after dinner as that’s not our routine.

I would give plain yoghurt at the same time as giving the main course. And that's what's for dinner - the main course and plain yoghurt.

I used to do this with DD1 - she'd be given her main course and a banana. She ate a lot more that way.

We give our two nearly three year old all her ‘courses’ in one go, for us we find it stops her just eating her favourite bit/moaning she only wants the favourite bit.

Wow… that was uncalled for 🙄

BTW some M&S kids yoghurts contain modified maize starch, @ToBeDetermined. UPFs lurk even in naice supermarkets 🙄

I just say "if you're still hungry after your dinner you can have x or y or z"

If he eats some of the food then asks for something else, I say "if your tummy is still hungry, you have x and y and z still on your plate"

I'm afraid I believe that if you've room for pudding, you've room for the rest of the food on your plate. But I never force or cajole or encourage. The food is simply there and when it's gone there's fruit or yoghurt etc if you still want something.

I don't quibble over a small amount of food left. The plate doesn't have to be licked clean, and he has control over how much is put on his plate in the first place. He's 3 and a good eater. He didn't used to be because I fell into the trap of treating all food as equal. I think that's a nonsense fad now.

If an entire meal is refused he knows that he can have a banana if he's hungry, and nothing else. He eats really well now. I just took all the nonsense and conversations and confusion about food right out of the equation. Same stock phrases: "here's your dinner", "yes you can have a yoghurt if you're still hungry after dinner", "I'm not making anything else, this is what we're having for dinner."

He's definitely not lacking in treats in general so I don't feel sorry for him in the slightest!

The best thing we ever did around food was to stop having yogurts and biscuits after meals. If you don't want your food we don't nag. We have pudding on weekends and you get it regardless of how much of the main meal you've eaten.

I did apologise to the poster. In my defence I can only take implications that I am stupid or lying for around four posts before I feel badgered and get defensive.

We always have given our an amount of desert equivalent to the amount of main course which was eaten, so two mouthfuls of main would be one small mouthful of afters.

Same as we did.

I think it's in how you frame the answer. I never say to my son "you can have pudding if you finish your dinner"

But if he announced "I want a yoghurt!" or "I want a biscuit", I say "if you're still hungry after dinner you can have that"

Doesn't bother me if he eats his meal and then still feels like something. It's not a reward for eating, it's just food that's there if he's still hungry afterwards. He eats his dinner because he knows he's not getting that simply because he asked for it, and usually he ends up not being hungry for it after all once he's eaten.

This is illogical and likely to lead to disordered eating

When my DS was 2 (he’s now 5) we had this. We used to serve everything at the same time and he would choose. At first, he always ate the fruit/yoghurt/biscuit/whatever first but then went to the main. After a while he didn’t like the taste that way round so would eat main first. Now he’s 5, we have no issues and he’ll eat his main with the rest of us and ask for something else if he’s hungry after he’s finished. He’s also really good at leaving dessert when he’s full which I do think is because of how we did it when he was younger.

It’s not cool to keep your sweaters, artificial or otherwise, in the fridge!

🤣 some days autocorrect has entertainment value.

Really? Thanks for letting me know. Would you mind explaining why/how can it cause problems please?

We never forced eating and never expected the kids to eat anything they didn't like. bread and butter was always an acceptable option for mains if I screwed up and cooked something they didn't like.

Is it better to just say no desert at all if you don't eat your main course because that feels to me like it would cause more issues?