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Original poster

Ramifications of 5yo having a bath when adults are sleeping?

119 replies

Zazzlez · 25/08/2024 08:36

I am lost! One of my worst fears has happened this morning, my DD 5 has made herself a bath while we were sleeping, it's literally a nightmare come to life for me as DD loves water and I've repeatedly asked dh to put the plug away after baths, my question is though, how do we punish her for this? I've suggested no baths (just showers). I am so upset, I'm usually awake at 6am, stirring and aware at 5am.

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Original poster
Zazzlez · 01/09/2024 01:26

WonderingWanda · 01/09/2024 01:18

The only person who needs punishing is your idiot dh who couldn't be bothered to hide the plug like you'd asked him to. Thankfully she didn't come to any harm this time. It sounds like you've got a really independent and determined child there op, she is destined for great things, please don't punish her for this.

Yeah my dh has admitted he was wrong, and yeah she's a strong willed firecracker that's for sure, if you read my update though you'll see how it ended!

OP posts:
WonderingWanda · 01/09/2024 01:29

Sorry, just reread my post and I sound quite harsh on your dh....just annoys me when I ask my own to do something and he ignores me.

anareen · 01/09/2024 01:34

I wouldn't punish for this. I would express how worried/scared this made you for her safety. Remind her that if she wants to bathe that is perfectly okay, all she has to do is ask but a parent needs to be present.

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TheCoolOliveBalonz · 02/09/2024 13:55

This thread has made me understand better why there is an anxiety crisis in kids. Complete overaction to what is essentially a non-event.

katepilar · 28/03/2025 09:37

You dont punish a child for running a bath. You make sure they cant do it again, its your responsibility.

katepilar · 28/03/2025 09:40

Zazzlez · 25/08/2024 08:49

I'm going to be punishing myself for months, I won't be able to sleep properly after this, but I see what you mean. She is 5 though and I've repeatedly told her about the dangers of water, and bathing alone (I have anxiety so it's something I've often worried about).

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You cant rely on children knowing they should or shouldnt do something. They dont have the capacity to behave according to what they know. Thats how their brain works.

Wisenotboring · 28/03/2025 10:17

I don't thinknyiu need to punish. Keep firmly explaining that it is not allowed and that water is dangerous without a grown up. In the meantime get an external lock fitted on the door so you can lock it at night.

lovemycbf · 28/03/2025 12:34

Put a sliding lock up at the top of the door
I know someone who’s young child ran a bath for the younger sibling and it was just hot water
they had horrific burns

Mischance · 28/03/2025 12:36

Just put the plug away and cut out this punishment idea.

Bloodybrambles · 28/03/2025 12:40

I have a toddler so new to all this.

I’m curious how far she got with the bath? Did she put in bubbles, her toys, get a towel ready?

Did she get in the bath or was the bath for one of her toys?

MrsSunshine2b · 28/03/2025 13:17

Thatsawrap1 · 25/08/2024 09:03

@Zazzlez is she used to “running her own bath “ usually ? As in told to run it and put toys in etc herself ? Maybe she just thought she was doing something good.
Bottom-line kids that age and older, especially with no siblings, need to have a parent around them in the mornings etc .
I think sometimes when children aren’t toddlers and need constant vigilance parents can get a bit more relaxed but I can’t stress enough my child was just turning 7 when they had a choking incident ( and I was there beside them ) and it was totally silent).
I’ve read on here many time kids from 6 onwards downstairs on their own while parents sleep and it’s definitely not something that I would do in light of what happened with one of my kids. It sounds over the top but that choking incident while we were with them really showed me how easily things can happen with young kids.

I understand but that can happen to anyone regardless of age. My Mum nearly choked on a piece of popcorn a while ago when she was home alone. She's 65. Luckily, she managed to dislodge it, but the way she describes it it was a very close call. She no longer eats popcorn but we don't supervise her at all times.

We do let DD5 play, watch TV and eat her breakfast unattended on weekend mornings. I wouldn't let her have a bath whilst I'm asleep but I no longer sit and watch her in the bath, I'm usually in the next room and would notice straight away if I heard a bump or she went quiet.

I wouldn't punish her for getting in the bath on her own but I'd explain the dangers to her, i.e. that she could slip and hit her head and drown, and that she can't actually get out by herself safely so if she didn't want to be in there any more she'd be effectively trapped. She's a sensible kid and if I explain the risks of something, she usually will understand and not do it again.

Thatsawrap1 · 29/03/2025 07:44

MrsSunshine2b · 28/03/2025 13:17

I understand but that can happen to anyone regardless of age. My Mum nearly choked on a piece of popcorn a while ago when she was home alone. She's 65. Luckily, she managed to dislodge it, but the way she describes it it was a very close call. She no longer eats popcorn but we don't supervise her at all times.

We do let DD5 play, watch TV and eat her breakfast unattended on weekend mornings. I wouldn't let her have a bath whilst I'm asleep but I no longer sit and watch her in the bath, I'm usually in the next room and would notice straight away if I heard a bump or she went quiet.

I wouldn't punish her for getting in the bath on her own but I'd explain the dangers to her, i.e. that she could slip and hit her head and drown, and that she can't actually get out by herself safely so if she didn't want to be in there any more she'd be effectively trapped. She's a sensible kid and if I explain the risks of something, she usually will understand and not do it again.

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You’re the parent but 5 is way too young to be left unattended imho ( without older kids , maybe your dcs does have siblings) and I’m not some awful helicopter mum at all. I’ve 3 dcs and I’m a teacher and 5 is still v small. Your mother was an adult and managed to dislodge that yourself , you can’t make a comparison between an adult and a child.

Hols23 · 29/03/2025 08:05

I think 5 is old enough to have a bath alone (depending on the child of course). Was it drowning or scalding you were more worried about?

I definitely wouldn't be punishing for this.

MrsSunshine2b · 30/03/2025 15:57

Thatsawrap1 · 29/03/2025 07:44

You’re the parent but 5 is way too young to be left unattended imho ( without older kids , maybe your dcs does have siblings) and I’m not some awful helicopter mum at all. I’ve 3 dcs and I’m a teacher and 5 is still v small. Your mother was an adult and managed to dislodge that yourself , you can’t make a comparison between an adult and a child.

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Well, I disagree and think it depends on the child. My 5yo is fine imo to be left unattended for a while and knows where we are if she needs us.

MothersDayLieIn · 30/03/2025 20:08

Zazzlez · 25/08/2024 08:36

I am lost! One of my worst fears has happened this morning, my DD 5 has made herself a bath while we were sleeping, it's literally a nightmare come to life for me as DD loves water and I've repeatedly asked dh to put the plug away after baths, my question is though, how do we punish her for this? I've suggested no baths (just showers). I am so upset, I'm usually awake at 6am, stirring and aware at 5am.

What? Why would you punish her?

It is you and your DH that should be punished, if anyone, not a 5 yr old child.

Ffs

coxesorangepippin · 31/03/2025 02:46

A five year old cannot deem if taking a bath alone is safe or not. She's only five.

This one's on you, op.

coxesorangepippin · 31/03/2025 02:54

My DD is going into year 1 soon and no teachers will be following her to the school bathrooms, and at a school she is held accountable for what she does,

^

True. But does she have access to a bath???

ShriekingTrespasser · 31/03/2025 09:42

Don’t punish her. She’s misguided of course, as she’s 5, but she showed independence and initiative by doing that. She needs to learn how to check through her new ideas, not to stifle them.
Talk to her and tell her she’s not allowed to do that if it’s not a suitable time but she can when she’s older.

1SillySossij · 31/03/2025 10:11

She is not a toddler! I think you need to encourage independence, not put the fear of god into her about perfectly normal a tivities. Show her how to run the water safely and check the temperature. Set a maxi.um depth allowed and make sure there is a decent no slip mat in there.

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