Ramifications of 5yo having a bath when adults are sleeping?

[Zazzlez]

I am lost! One of my worst fears has happened this morning, my DD 5 has made herself a bath while we were sleeping, it's literally a nightmare come to life for me as DD loves water and I've repeatedly asked dh to put the plug away after baths, my question is though, how do we punish her for this? I've suggested no baths (just showers). I am so upset, I'm usually awake at 6am, stirring and aware at 5am.

I think you need to cool down a bit, kids do things like this. Nothing happened and the chances are nothing would.

Keep the plug hidden, explain it’s dangerous and if she does it again she will get punished. But don’t turn it into a big internal drama

Did she actually run a full bath and got in it? How did she control the temperature?

I wonder if the fact that you've repeatedly told her that it's dangerous and she shouldn't be alone have made it more exciting and appealing for her? I also have a 5 year old (and anxiety) and telling him not to do something is the surest way to make him do it.

What a drama. You don't punish her at all, you explain she can't do that alone and move the plug. The end.

This is batshit. You slept in and were not supervising your child properly and you want to punish her?! YABU

Can you adjust the temperature of the water at the boiler downwards so that if it does happen again she won't scald herself.

I have a five year old and they are more than capable of knowing that running a bath on your own is dangerous and not allowed. A toddler, fair enough, but five is old enough to understand safety and consequences.

When I say punish, I don't mean anything too horrible, I think I'm just upset and shocked.

To answer some questions. I'm usually awake, the door to our room is always open but we have 5 cats that can make a racket, I've been sleeping terribly lately so can only assume I was sleeping well and assuming the cats were up to mischief.

With my anxiety, I don't go doomsday at all, my DC know I have anxiety as I want them to understand it but it doesn't affect them.

I think we'll do shower for 2 weeks as DD does know she shouldn't be running herself a bath, as for me, I'll probably be awake from 4am for the foreseeable future, thanks for everyone's Input 😄 and the bath plug (which isn't attached) will be put out of reach!

I would say calmly not to do it again as it is dangerous and move on, no need for dramatics

Are you getting any help for your anxiety?

If not you can self refer (ie don't need to go thru the doctors) just Google iapt and your area as it will probably have a different name.

Weird to want to punish her, she hardly wrecked your house. She was 5 and probably wanted to do something independently. Just remember to hide the plug.

I would say punish yourself and your husband for allowing it to happen by leaving the plug in reach! Honestly, can't believe you're questioning how to punish a 5 year old for doing something they have no understanding of the dangers of. You can have a conversation with her and tell her the seriousness of it and that she must never run a bath without you/husband present. But really the error lies with you/husband so take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.

No wonder children are so anxious these days. We tell them that almost everything they do day to day is dangerous. We shouldn't teach them that a simple pleasure like taking a bath is a cause to be worried.

Punishing her with no baths is not right, yes she can shower but baths are a hygiene thing too and you shouldn't punish by taking that choice away. YOU as parents messed up by not making a safety adjustment when you knew there was a risk. I don't think you should beat yourself up for it but punishing a child with no baths isn't the right move in my opinion. It also makes it MORE appealing to do it again once you do this punishment.

This.

How did you not hear the water running ?
You must be a heavy sleeper or live in a very big house.

A 5 year old could easily drown or burn themselves or flood the bathroom by playing in water unattended, let's not pretend otherwise. The kid needs to no the danger even if they don't get punished.

She doesn't need to be banned from baths, you're just going to give her a complex about bathing. Just explain to her again why she needs to be careful and that it isn't allowed as it isn't safe.

I'm in the no punishment camp too.
Oh but I feel your plight.
DD did this when she was little and ran the water way too hot. I was alerted by her shriek. I still get anxious thinking about it now, ten years later.

I don't think she's too young to understand the risks (in an 'explain to me like I'm 5 years old' sort of way). But... as others have said, she's 5. Information doesn't quite land at that age.
I think it's just early morning risings for you, OP until she is old enough to understand the consequences of actions.

Why would you punish her? Just explain why she can’t have baths at that time and put the plug away safely as a back up.

But in the kindest way possible, your anxiety is affecting them. You’re talking about handing down a 2 week punishment, for a thing that would have been avoided if an adult and removed the plug. If we’re going to acknowledge that grownups get it wrong/forget/etc, we need to afford children the same grace.

Talk to her, make sure the plug is removed, and let it go. Don’t have this still on going when she starts back at school in a week and a half.

The kid has been told not to have a bath alone, and for very good reason. I'd stop baths and say she is not grown up enough to have one if she can't follow the rules.

This - 100% .
I fully understand your fear about what could have happened this morning but both yourself and DH are totally in the wrong here .
You knew it was a risk and had a “ process “ in place to prevent this occurring but failed to adhere to your own safeguarding process .

Dont punish your daughter , just calmly explain why the plug gets removed .

You're still going to punish her by withholding baths?

I can't believe what I am reading.

"Well done dd for being such a grown up girl and taking a bath on your own. But it's easy to run the water too hot and get scalded and more importantly, it's possible to drown in two inches of water. Until you are a little older, you are not to run and take a bath on your own again."

Meanwhile the plug goes in a high cupboard. Is there a separate lavatory? If so a little cabin bolt down from the top of the door.

I'd be feeling a.tiny bit pleased that she'd saved me a job and was clean. Perhaps you shoukd be a little bit proud of her initiative and independence.

Just a warning op if you make a huge deal of this and withhold baths for 2 weeks it's likely she will come to fear them and have a negative association and you'll never get her in the bath again!