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Parenting

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To hear from parents who separated and lived an hours drive away. How is co-parenting going

52 replies

Mamamia94 · 21/08/2024 15:45

Basically what the title says. I have very recently put an end to my 7 year relationship. We have 2 DS , 2 years old and 9 months old.

We have agreed to them seeing their daddy at the minute mid day Wednesday to mid day Friday one week and mid day Friday to mid day Sunday on rotation.

its only the first week and my heart is in a million pieces. I want to know if you have been in this situation either as the child of separation or as a parent that is currently dealing with this how have your children coped?

for a bit of background I have been putting up with (on and off) verbal abuse. It’s mad I can’t think when I sit to write this down but being called a retard, and fucking spastic if I can’t understand something he’s trying to tell me. I’m ‘a control freak’ when I tell him it’s not ok to make plans and change them at the last minute. I am a ‘money grabber’ because I was earning less on maternity leave and he had to put more money than me into the house as I was and still am earning less.

It’s been going on so long that even as I write this I don’t even think it’s that bad. Someone please tell me from an outsiders point of view without judging

anyway sorry back to the point… there is an hour drive for my little sons when they want to see their dad and the eldest (2) has been crying since he left for him saying things like ‘daddy go?’ And ‘daddy’s van go?’ When looking out the window for him or if there’s someone at the door that isn’t him he’s shouting ‘daddy home!’ It truly is breaking my heart. They are up at their dads at the minute and he is crying for me.

Please tell the honest truth if you regretted the separation or if things got better

thank you so much for reading

OP posts:
Mamamia94 · 21/08/2024 21:46

@onwardsup4
Thank you so much for sharing with me. It helps to know someone has been and got through this. Can you tell me what your day splits were to give me an idea of how mine may impact them and if I need to make changes

@Rowen32
Thank you for telling your honest opinion on this. I have been really thinking about this but so many people are saying that 50:50 isn’t unreasonable. I would be absolutely taken off my feet if I had to do 50/50 so the only way I could even avoid not seeing them for any more than 1 full day was to see them half day then not for a full day then see them for half the next day. So just 1 full day away. Although I’m aware it’s 2 nights. It’s breaking my heart I haven’t been able to eat or sleep since they left. I wish he would agree to just visiting but because he’s been at home with work he feels like he has a bond too even though i feel it’s no where near mine 💔

OP posts:
Namechangejustincase24 · 22/08/2024 20:51

Mamamia94 · 21/08/2024 17:22

@Namechangejustincase24

thank you so much for your reply.

did you find it very hard at the start and found it got easier?

also how are your children and you now? 🙏🏼

It was hard at first because it was not what I planned our future would be. But you have to get on with it.

How are we in what way?

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